What I Know Now: lessons from my 2nd move to UK

I didn't cry, but I think I came close at the letting go part. Thank you for that wonderful post.

Marlespo - I'm so impressed with that lump on your neck that sits between your shoulders.  You're a very strong person and I'm even more inspired about my upcoming move after reading your post.  We'll have to swap stories over tea sometime in the UK.  Sending my warmest thoughts toward the UK embassey in D.C. for you.
Urs

Excellent post!

I could kick myself for all of the time and energy I wasted on comparing!!! Instead of whinging about what was "missing", I should have embraced the experience much more.

Yep - older, wiser. Definitely going to be different this time around! 

Marlespo, I think you should give lessons on how to be a successful expat.  I know I needed some lessons before I went over the first time and you have all the insight for sure!  Thank you again. 

Thanks for all the nice words guys - one of the things I love so much about uk-yankee is hearing stories of other people who have been in your shoes, so we can all be crazy together.

I totally agree with everything... and your previous naivety was my naivety on moving to Britain.  I could have written that myself.    

Thanks for the great post. I don't have so much homesickness anymore, and it's mainly because I've started to let go of stuff, and tried not to compare, just enjoy the memories and be honest about stuff that I miss, but, still realising that those things will always be there for me when I'm able to travel back there, if we do get to have a trip back. And if not, that's ok too, because I've experienced life in the States, and here in the UK. It's always good to be able to see both sides of the story, right?

 What a FANTASTIC post.


 It hit really close to home for me, and I needed it.




You rule.

That was a really great post Marlespo. Best wishes on your upcoming move!

Welcome back, Marlespro. It seems like only yesterday you moved back to the US! Time flies.

All I can say is wow. Wow. Wow. Thank you for that poignant and timely post.

I am 55, American; my husband is 50, British. We have been married for 6 years and lived 5+ of those years here in the US. I lived with him in London briefly after our marriage and LOVED it. I was born an Anglophile - came out holding a teacup and wearing Wellies.  But DH wanted to live in the US and we thought opportunities here would be better for us.

In some ways they were – materially - but things never did truly go to plan. (Do they ever?) It took him - a college-educated, IT expert - well over a year to break into full-time employment; then I was diagnosed with breast cancer and went through surgery/treatment (4-years cancer free at the moment).     

I wish now that we had "cut our losses" 3 or 4 years ago, because it would have been much easier to leave, but now we have made the decision to move back. We know that this is what we want to do, but there are still days when we question ourselves. I think - I hope! - that this is natural.

We have to face the reality that this move is going to be DIFFICULT. We are not young and out of necessity will be giving up everything we have to make this move. We will return to the UK with little more than our suitcases/clothes. 

We will have to find jobs. Buy a car. Find accommodation. The list goes on and on.  SCARY.  Or … ADVENTURE?

I will be leaving 3 little grandsons this time, and my oldest daughter (mother of the grandsons) has very strong feelings about my moving back to the UK (i.e., she’s not happy with me about it). This has added an entirely new and, unfortunately, negative dimension to the move. Really hard sometimes not to feel GUILTY. 

But … we know that England is where we want to be. England is how we want to live.  England is who my husband is and England is who I want to be.  Sadly, my family and friends simply do not understand this at all. They just don’t have a clue.

So here I sit on a Tuesday night. I’ve just submitted the online Settlement Visa application and paid the fee, so for the first time in the years that we have been talking about going back - it is now a reality. This is going to happen.  I am moving to England. Again.

Thank you, Marlespo, for reminding me that although it will be hard –  it will be awesome.

Hugs to all  ~

P.S. Guess it's time to start a timeline.