NHS breastfeeding DVD freaked me out!

The best practical emotional support he can provide, in my opinion, is to realize that the hormone shift in your body will be insane, and to just bite his tongue a lot and ride the wave. Sounds like he's already got it in mind to help with the house, that will be a big load off your mind. Good man!

We don't have a TV (though I'm seriously rethinking that now!) but I'm thinking maybe I should stock up on books and DVDs now...

We don't have a TV either!  My sister wants to get us one for our baby shower, claiming it will easily be the best gift anyone will give us.     I told her no.  I am a bit scared about not having one, though, to be honest!

My husband did all the housework! He also helped out with my other boys, especially the 9 year old who is extremely lazy in the mornings.

But, like Marlespo said, one of the best things your partner can do is be understanding. My poor husband suffered through all of my mood swings since I got pregnant until pretty much very recently (and I got pregnant in Mar, 2008!).

Another thing my husband did that I loved was cuddle with me as I'd nurse Oliver. He wasn't allowed to work in this country, so he spent all his time with us. We found out that our most comfortable position to nurse, and the one Oliver liked the most, was lying in bed side by side, facing each other. My husband would always come up behind me and play with my hair, and the baby's!, as he nursed. Talk about relaxing!

Hopefully you'll find a comfortable position quickly enough. Pay attention to your baby, he/she will let you know

I think most things have been covered on BF.  There is loads of support out there if you want / need it.   

First off, before baby's born you may want to look into if there're any Mum & Baby groups in your area and make plans to try 'em out once baby's here and you feel confident going out on your own.  Personally, I found them a godsend once DD was born.  My first midwife started a Post-natal group at our local surgery that meets every week to help Mums meet other new Mums.  From the original group of Mums they formed one of the Toddler groups in the village as the kiddies got too old for the Post-natal group...  I found the Postnatal group fantastic for BF support and weaning issues etc.  Was also great to have a mix of new and experienced Mums with children of a similar age.

A friend of mine also started going to a BF group and has recently started looking into being a BF support councellor.  I think she was going to a La Leche Leage baby group, so that may be another type of group to look into if you want to be around other people and have that extra support.   

If you're unsure of where to start looking to see what baby groups are in your area try asking your Midwife and local HV.  After that I'd recommend looking to see if there's a Sure Start Centre nearby, as they usually have a list of all baby & toddler groups within a certain radius.  NetMums is another invaluable source of information for baby & toddler groups too.  (And then there's always us on the forum.   )

OMG I expressed for 8 months, and it was the absolute worst time of my life! I was a slave to the pump and to washing bottles. What a nightmare it was! I plan on breastfeeding this baby (who incidentally will be here in less than 48 hours OMG) and if it doesn't work, screw it, we are going straight to formula. I started expressing while still in the hospital, and it can be done successfully. My poor son was tongue tied and never latched on (talk to my therapist) But imo Breastfeeding is the easiest option around! No bottles to clean, no heating up bottles, boobs are always with you! Carrying them is easy as anything...they don't take up any space in your bag!

Good luck to you whatever you choose really...its a personal choice and you should never feel any pressure to do what you don't want to do!!!

Make sure you keep drinking especially during the first few weeks.  Take care of yourself first....I remember starting to cry after I'd made myself some scrambled eggs and the baby started to fuss and cry.  I thought "oh well, I guess I just have to stop and feed her".  Now, I would leave the baby in the other room, finish my food, get a drink and then sort the little darling out.  
Another practical note- when you get out of the shower- rub the towel across your nipples as roughly as you can stand it.  If you start now until you give birth, that will help toughen you up just a bit.  You will still be sore at the beginning of breastfeeding, but it should pass more quickly.

...its a personal choice and you should never feel any pressure to do what you don't want to do!!!

Indeed! With my first, I decided to try, but really wan't that keen. I don't know why, I just wasn't. It turned out to be a non-issue, though, as I had massive post-c-sec complications and never really got the chance to try. Bottle feeding worked really well for my son and as he slept through the night from 7 weeks, I wasn't constantly washing bottles. I also didn't heat bottles, I just brought them to room temp.

When I was pregnant with my second, I made the decision to not even attempt breast feeding. This was partially because bottle feeding worked well for me with my first, but also because of the living arrangments I knew I was going to have (living with my in-laws - FIL world's most prudish man).

Anyway, my second baby was an every-2-hours feeder for 8 very long months. I've never washed so many bottles in my life. On the other hand, I don't think my nipples or boobs would have recovered if I'd breast fed!

Anyway, all you can do is try, but don't feel pressured and try not to pressure yourself too much either. Stress won't help you or the baby!

I don't think my nipples or boobs would have recovered if I'd breast fed!

They always recover

But imo Breastfeeding is the easiest option around! No bottles to clean, no heating up bottles, boobs are always with you! Carrying them is easy as anything...they don't take up any space in your bag!

Good luck to you whatever you choose really...its a personal choice and you should never feel any pressure to do what you don't want to do!!!

Plus, if you travel by plane you don't have to worry about tasting your baby milk at the security check points (unless it's expressed).  

We did have everything ready though just in case I wasn't able to BF DD as intended.  DH forced me to choose bottles and get a pump about a month before she was born.  He did this as he works in an office full of dad's and they all pass on tips and info to each other (regular old gossiping women they are!) and told DH to do that just in case as nothing worse than having to go out and buy bottles and pump etc while OHs in hospital.  Best way to ensure you have what you want to use on hand just in case before baby's born, even if you don't end up using it all straight away.

Anyway, all you can do is try, but don't feel pressured and try not to pressure yourself too much either. Stress won't help you or the baby!

Exactly - you put it beautifully C.  There's loads of support if you want to BF and don't feel pressured or as if you're a failure if you don't.  The choice is yours and know that however you work it out you're doing what's best for you & baby - and that's what matters.   

My hubby cut up my dinner so I could eat one handed, LOL

definitely check your local surestart centres, Jean and I went to a baby group/breastfeeding support group at ours

Sounds like there are some great partners out there! I know it must be a tough time for them too, your stories here are so sweet... I have to say, my husband has been really great so far, even when I've been craaaaaazy with the hormones -- I guess pregnancy is good practice for later!

Thanks so much for emphasising that whatever happens it's okay, I find this very reassuring compared to some other advice out there! And thanks for all the links to postnatal groups and such 

My friend took the same hospital antenatal course on breastfeeding that I'm supposed to take in a couple weeks, and she said they were so pro-BF that they wouldn't even explain any details of how formula feeding worked -- they just said, don't do it. Eek!

This may be a stupid question, but how strictly do you have to stick to either BF or formula? It sounds like sometimes you can do a mixture of both (eg give formula at night so they sleep better) but is this easy to pull off, or wise to do?

And while everyone's here -- any recommendations for specific breast pumps? Will probably go get one in the next couple weeks...

Thanks ladies!!

Oh and Geeta -- I think I'm a ways ahead of you, right? (I'm 32 weeks now.) I can let you know how long the "no TV" thing lasts after the baby comes... 

I have to admit that is one thing that put me off BFing. I hated the super-pro BF mafia. Pregnancy and parenting is different for everyone. For me, I didn't enjoy being pregnant and couldn't wait to 'get my body back'. Much as I know breast milk is best, for my own sanity, I needed to be able to hand baby off to Dad and go regroup.

Mine is not a popular view-point, but it's a valid one. :-/

This may be a stupid question, but how strictly do you have to stick to either BF or formula? It sounds like sometimes you can do a mixture of both (eg give formula at night so they sleep better) but is this easy to pull off, or wise to do?

I did both as I went back to work at 12 weeks and found that my internal supply wasn't enough from pumping twice a day at the office.  (hated it too so soon cut it to one session)  So my son usually got two BF bottles and two formula bottles a day at the day care.  I would say the important thing is to try to establish good latching at the breast before switching to a bottle.  Babies take to this differently. 

My DS went back and forth early on because like others have mentioned he was tongue tied.  We had to use a bottle straight away because he wasn't latching- then I had his tongue "clipped" so that we could BF and it was really important to me.  Then he latched well and we spent about 1 month that way.  He wouldn't take a bottle at that point from me (or my husband who didn't really have a knack for bottle feeding) but he took one from my mother in law - after we went through about 4 types of bottles (Dr. Brown's).  So then he went back and forth for the rest of the year. 

They go through bottles of anything much more quickly than BF in my opinion - which can mean that they fill their tummies with too much formula if that's what you're using - and then they don't take enough from the breast - which can create a cycle that makes your supply dwindle.  The idea  is basically if you use a formula to replace a feeding then you should still pump for that feeding so you keep your supply up (and you have a few bottles in the freezer in case you need a night out on the town and want a drink )

I have to admit that is one thing that put me off BFing. I hated the super-pro BF mafia. Pregnancy and parenting is different for everyone. For me, I didn't enjoy being pregnant and couldn't wait to 'get my body back'. Much as I know breast milk is best, for my own sanity, I needed to be able to hand baby off to Dad and go regroup.

Mine is not a popular view-point, but it's a valid one. :-/

I may be a man but have always taken a keen interest in all my kids and their feeding. And I have to say I think the NHS should promote BF but there is a limit and I really think far too many people wave that BF flag in people's face far too much.

You are the mother, do what you please. Both my DW's (not simulataneously!!) had trouble expressing enough so we used formula as a top up. Then said bugger it and went the formula route. (One can only sit and pump for so long and if ain't there, it ain't there). All 3 of my kids (23, 20 & 6) are just fine. And smart! And healthy.

Just enjoy feeding the babies and let dad enjoy it too, expressed or formula.

The question of mixing breastfeeding and formula is such a good one.  With my first baby, I didn't have enought milk and baby wasn't gaining weight.  However, I had been scared by the advice that once the baby got used to the bottle, she wouldn't want the breast anymore.  Actually, I supplemented with one or two bottles a day and continued to breastfeed until about 1 year- it worked beautifully. 
I know every baby is different, but that can be an option. 

What a shame that they wouldn't even talk about other options.