US vs. UK Expats - Differences in Perspective/Coping Methods?

Out of curiosity, I was checking out the Dive into America forum last night.  I was wondering what experience were on the flip side, and if there as any info that might be of use or interest to my boyfriend prior to his visit here this fall. 

Bf and I ended up spending a while browsing their boards, and found a lot of parallel threads regarding things like driving tests, visa info, etc.  Practical stuff.  But my boyfriend pointed out that there didn't seem to be as much general venting going on in the threads.  Partly, the board doesn't seem set up for it.  We didn't see, for example, a specific Homesickness board, or a Grievances board.

This sort of got me thinking, and I started wondering if that difference was simply due to the forum owners not caring to develop the forum in that direction, or if there's really a fundamental difference in the experience of UKC's living in the US, versus USC's living in the UK. 

So, for those of you who've been on both sides of the equation, what do you think?  Have you or your UKC partners/family members had a generally easier time adapting to the US, or are the Brits simply more stoic about it?  Do you think Americans just whine more over the same issues?

It's possible that those boards are hidden from unregistered members, in case discussions get ugly.

I think there are sites devoted specifically to British expats that might be useful.  Just doing a quick google, I turned up: http://britishexpats.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=57

Flipping through there are a few threads about people not understanding the political landscape and one about dealing with upset families.  Maybe that's more what you are looking for?

You'll find a lot of winging on britishexpats.com  
 
Having been a Brit in the US I can relate to nearly everything on this board that the Americans say about the UK!  

The homesickness is just as bad, adjusting is just as hard etc, etc.  Your personal experience depends upon so many variables such as whether there is family near (ie one of you is from the area) or you are on your own (we were on our own as a military family posted to Memphis), how different the place is to what you're used to (maybe moving from London to New York wouldn't be so bad but a rural/town move could be bad anyway before you add in the cultural differences too!).

I was massively homesick because I gave up work etc go out there with my husband.  He didn't feel it so much because he was instantly in a work environment with colleagues and support etc.  Just as in reverse, I had the honeymoon period, the I hate it period, the it's okay period and then the I don't want to go home just yet period!  I never stopped missing the UK though but didn't really have the opportunity to whine about it because I didn't find a forum such as this and couldn't really moan to the only Americans that I met - it wouldn't have endeared them to me at all!!  Perhaps having no where to moan helped me finally adjust - I had just had to for my sanity and that of my family!

Just like people here I hated the unfamiliarity of everything.  For example: why was the banking system so weird?  Why couldn't I use cheques out of state - after all at home I could use them anywhere.  Why did we have to pay bills by cheque - hadn't they ever heard of direct debits!!  I felt like a child and totally incompetent.  But finally I met one or two people I liked and enjoyed being somewhere so different.  However I never felt really at home and found people hard to relate to - a lack of common growing up experiences can make casual conversation very difficult!  People were friendly but never friends - an experience that many people on this board have also had here in the UK.  I would never blame individuals or a nation of people just a clash of cultures.

I've just realised that this makes it sound as though I had a terrible time.  I didn't!!!  Also I would go back for a time-limited period again and this time would be prepared for the culture shock in advance, lol!

Thanks to those who have pointed out other boards.  I just want to clarify that I'm not trying to find whining British expats.   I really was just curious.

Thanks to those who have pointed out other boards.  I just want to clarify that I'm not trying to find whining British expats.   I really was just curious.

  No worries.  But it's out there in case your bf needs a whine. 

Oh, my boyfriend is still in Scotland and, apart from a few weeks here so he can meet my family, we have no plans for him to move here.  I'm definitely (unless something big happens) going to be the one moving.  This question of differing experiences was really a purely intellectual one.

Marmaladejar - I found your post really interesting, given that you were living in a military community.  Were on on or off base?  If I'd had to venture a guess, I would have expected things to be a bit easier, given the military context, because those communities would tend to have more people who are 'strangers'-- if not from other nations, then certainly from diverse parts of the U.S., which can cause its own culture-shock.

We were living off base in a home rented by the British Government (a very nice one I might add!).  Had we been posted to somewhere like Norfolk, Virginia or Washington then not only would there have been an expat community but also many people from other nations too.  However, we were associated with Millington nr Memphis where my husband was one of only two foreign nationals on the whole base! 

In some ways I think we had a more 'authentic' experience without an established expat community to fall back on/tie up with as we were forced to stand on our own two feet.  We had to sort out our own utilities, phones etc with very little help and we had to do our own search for the best school district and negotiate the level of entry for our daughter and so on which plunged us in at the deep end straight away.  The Embassy really wasn't much help as Washington was a long way, away and they didn't have much experience of people being in far flung situations without local backup!  They tried though!!

The one major benefit of being military was that we didn't have to worry about health care as we just did what was necessary and the British Government paid up!  Also we had a primary care facility to use on the base which made health care at that level very much easier to get along with - unlike the experience of many expats.

My British husband moved to the US on his own for work and encountered no other British expats for a long time.  He experienced homesickness and culture shock similar to things discussed here (in reverse) on UKY.  He also adapted and enjoyed the US.

I think repats would probably attest to the same feelings cited above about their home countries. Culture shock is about adjustment to the unfamiliar due to a massive change! 

I lived in London for 3 years. My husband has been here for 1.5 years. He has experienced much less homesickness than I ever did - but this is a general difference in our personalities.

We also have a ton of British friends here and they all love it and say they wouldn't move back to the UK.