Stress and needs to be a better way!!!

Just need to rant a little....I am sorry but I don't know all the lingo for the forum yet.  I met my Brit over a year ago online in a game we both played.  I came to meet him in person in November 2009 and was here for about a month.  At that time my passport was not stamped.  I am American.  I went back home in December and as he had hired a Solicitor to look over everything to make sure it was all ok before I sent it in.  The Solicitor looked over the application and all the papers we were sending in and told my Brit that we would in no way be able to get a visa as we had not established a true relationship.  He then told my Brit to just have me come back over on a visitor visa get married and apply to stay here after that.  I came back here on Feb 4.  In March we rented a flat together as it was to expensive living in a B and B.  Making a long story short we were married on Friday the 14th of May in the Church of England, Highbrook.  I know I will have to go back to America and apply for a spouse visa now.....but my new husband is disabled and it will be hard for him to go with me, but I can't leave him here alone.  He has MS.  We are both in our late 50's, he is on disability living expense which is not very much and I have an annuity from the US Government which I will have until my death.  I have a bank account here and have given up everything is the US to be here with him.  Yeah maybe I was being stupid for believing the Solicitor, but this was supposed to be his expertise.  I wish there was an easier way to do things........now I have to have my husband beg his selfish rich family for help to get the plane tickets to go back to America.  His family owns Borde Hill Garden an estate which has been in the family for many, many years, but they have said they will not help him as it would benefit me.  What a crock!!!!  Anyway that is all I have to rant about.  Wish I didn't have to go back and take him as I am afraid it will be detrimental to his health on a long plane ride but I have no choice.  I have to follow the law just as everyone else does.  Thanks for letting me ramble.   

It can be such a hard experience when someone in a transatlantic relationship is ill.  I know we have others on here who can very much sympathise with you.  I have had friends in the past with MS and we have a friend currently who is battling it.  His health has taken a major turn for the worse recently, so I know what a hard and painful disease it can be.  It really sucks that you received bad advice from a solicitor.  It's always disappointing to hear that someone who is supposed to be a trusted professional isn't giving out the proper advice.  Best of luck with you and your situation! 

Just need to rant a little....I am sorry but I don't know all the lingo for the forum yet.  I met my Brit over a year ago online in a game we both played.  I came to meet him in person in November 2009 and was here for about a month.  At that time my passport was not stamped.  I am American.  I went back home in December and as he had hired a Solicitor to look over everything to make sure it was all ok before I sent it in.  The Solicitor looked over the application and all the papers we were sending in and told my Brit that we would in no way be able to get a visa as we had not established a true relationship.  He then told my Brit to just have me come back over on a visitor visa get married and apply to stay here after that.  I came back here on Feb 4.  In March we rented a flat together as it was to expensive living in a B and B.  Making a long story short we were married on Friday the 14th of May in the Church of England, Highbrook.  I know I will have to go back to America and apply for a spouse visa now.....but my new husband is disabled and it will be hard for him to go with me, but I can't leave him here alone.  He has MS.  We are both in our late 50's, he is on disability living expense which is not very much and I have an annuity from the US Government which I will have until my death.  I have a bank account here and have given up everything is the US to be here with him.  Yeah maybe I was being stupid for believing the Solicitor, but this was supposed to be his expertise.  I wish there was an easier way to do things........now I have to have my husband beg his selfish rich family for help to get the plane tickets to go back to America.  His family owns Borde Hill Garden an estate which has been in the family for many, many years, but they have said they will not help him as it would benefit me.  What a crock!!!!  Anyway that is all I have to rant about.  Wish I didn't have to go back and take him as I am afraid it will be detrimental to his health on a long plane ride but I have no choice.  I have to follow the law just as everyone else does.  Thanks for letting me ramble.   

If he has MS, can he get in touch with his local authority, Citizens Advice Bureau and Welfare Rights organisation to get a general benefits check to ensure he is getting the correct level of benefits and the right benefits?

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/Localcouncils/index.htm

http://www.dialuk.info/

He can also contact the local authority for a community care assessment with a social worker and an occupational therapy assessment for any aids and adaptations he may need to improve access in his house and in the community.

With the community care assessment with a social worker, they should be able to tell him if he is eligible for services through the local authority or cash in lieu of services to purchase those services to improve his quality of life.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/Localcouncils/index.htm[/url]

http://www.nhs.uk/CarersDirect/guide/assessments/Pages/Communitycareassessments.aspx

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/family/community_care.htm

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/HealthAndSupport/WhosWhoInHealthServices/DG_4003761

I would also consider contacting the MS Society to see of they provide an information / advice / advocacy service to help with this.

http://www.mssociety.org.uk/

HTH. Good luck sorting your visa. Hope you find the appropriate professional advice that it seems you require.

I am not sure if the situation makes this complicated, you lied when you entered as a visitor, ...

How do you figure? There's nothing in her post to say what her conversation was with the Immigration Officer and it's perfectly legal for someone to enter on a visitor stamp and get married in the Church of England without needing a Certificate of Approval. I think calling someone a liar is a bit harsh especially since you're making the judgement based upon what you think not upon what the OP stated.

Her solicitor was right, without the proper stamp in her passport (which I'm confused as to why she didn't have one) it would have made it very complicated to prove that they had met in person, but not impossible.

To the OP I wish you good luck and if you should need help with your visa pop on over to the Visas section of the forum and we'd be more than happy to help ya! 

it's perfectly legal for someone to enter on a visitor stamp and get married in the Church of England without needing a Certificate of Approval.

This is true, but one is not actually a visitor if they open bank accounts and secure housing, which I believe is the point bookgrl was making.

This is true, but one is not actually a visitor if they open bank accounts and secure housing, which I believe is the point bookgrl was making.

That's fine but there's nothing in the immigration rules that state that you can't do those things as a visitor as long as you intend to return to your home country at the end of your visitor stamp and get the proper visa.

What I took exception to was calling someone a liar which is harsh and totally uncalled for.

Just for my own nosiness, I would be very interested to hear if the OP actually told the IO that she intended to do those things.  If they are indeed allowing people to enter the country to get a "head start" on settlement before they have a proper visa, that would be interesting to know...

Just for my own nosiness, I would be very interested to hear if the OP actually told the IO that she intended to do those things.  If they are indeed allowing people to enter the country to get a "head start" on settlement before they have a proper visa, that would be interesting to know...

That I don't know but it does appear from the OP's other posts that they decided to get married after she arrived as a visitor:

...in fact I am leaving on the 3rd of Feb.  I am in Idaho, USA at the moment.  I am planning to stay a bit longer this time, till about the 30th of June, then he will come back to the US with me to be married...He had an immigration attorney look over the paperwork we had for a fiancee visa and was told it would not be good enough due to our relationship not being long enough?  The attorney even suggested that I return to the UK and for him and I to just go ahead and be married.  NOT!!!!  I can't imagine an attorney telling him such a thing. 

...arrived here on the 3rd of Feb....this is my second visit here the first was in Nov of 2009 for a month....came here to meet the love of my life.....when I went back home last year I missed him to much and lasted only 6 weeks and had to come back.  We are now living together in a flat in Tunbridge Wells, and yes my name is on the lease.....we wanted to be married here but a UK Immigration Attorney told us that we would not get a fiancee visa due to not knowing each other long enough......so I am here again only as a visitor......I am due to go back to the States the end of June, at which time Roland will go with me and we will be married in the States then I will come back on a spouse visa.

Entering with the intention of getting married would be the only problem (as it is prohibited in in the immigration rules) but it looks like it was thought about and then dismissed and then reconsidered after she arrived.

Anyway for those interesed here are the Terms & Conditions of a general visitor stamp can be found here: http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/policyandlaw/immigrationlaw/immigrationrules/part2/ (rather than post the entire thing as a quote -- way too long).

I entered on a visitor's visa and got married in a church of england wedding and had no issues when I applied for my visa. The IO was more concerned with the fact that I'd left just days shy of my 6 months. I was lucky and was able to apply in person so all I took was a 3 week holiday to see family and get my visa.

I understand not wanting to leave your husband, but you are going to have to return to the states, if you don't you'll be in a heap load more trouble.  Look into the help that may be available from the sites provided may make things easier and provide you with extra support.

Good luck.

Sorry, I shouldn't have said lied, but my concern was just that if she did all  those things on a visitor visa should she get some extra help when applying for the visa?

I know that you can get married in CofE, and as I said almost all family visas are granted, but if you enter as a visitor and then do things once you arrive that visitors wouldn't do, such as get permanant housing can this be an issue?  

It can be hard to prove intent after the fact is all.  

If she gave up everything to move here then she shouldn't have been moving over on a visitor visa.  Even if the IO didn't ask specifically about settlement, it would have been a lie of omission and my main concern would be if they might consider this deception. 

Most family visas get approved, but does careful wording need to be used in application letter? 

Also, did she register with, or use, the NHS?  That would be another concern. 

In March we rented a flat together as it was to expensive living in a B and B.  Making a long story short we were married on Friday the 14th of May in the Church of England, Highbrook.

 

I have a bank account here and have given up everything is the US to be here with him.

All of the above while on a visitor's visa?

okay looking at the posts here I need to clarify some things......I DID NOT lie to the immigration when I landed here in Feb........He asked me some very personal questions about my relationship and I answered him truthfully.....he asked me if I had been in the UK before, YES, do you have a relationship with this person, YES, how did you meet, internet, how long have you known each other, 9 months, do you intend to marry here, NO, what is the purpose of your visit, to establish a meaningful relationship with a person I am in love with, then he asked if he worked, no he does not, how will you support yourself here, I have money with me and a bank account in the USA if I need more money.  His interview with me lasted 20 minutes in fact.  I was brought up NOT to lie to anyone and I am just a little bit to old to be lying about anything to anyone at this point in my life.  If my own children called me a liar they would be picking themself up off the floor!!!!!  I had no intention to marry here as I knew it would complicate things...my bank account was opened at HSBC here using my passport, hence the name passport account...it is there to help people in the transition phase of moving here to have access to their money from abroad...I also pay £8.00 a month for the priviledge of having that account......renting a flat together.....well the reason for that is because his mother, who is 81, felt there was not room at her flat for 3 people although it is a 3 bedroom, and that his bed was not big enough for 2 to sleep in, funny we are sleeping in it now.....also we were staying together at a B and B which was costing us £850.00 a month as opposed to £650.00 a month for the flat.....plus we had to go out to eat everyday as no facilities to cook at B and B.......maybe I was wrong to vent here especially when people like bookgrl, tell me I am a liar so from now on I will keep my thoughts and my life to myself and not share anymore. And my post was really about his disability and his traveling not if we had broken any laws.  And I was following the advice of one of the UK's immigration solicitors.  Thanks to all of you who did give "good" thoughts to me and helpful advice as it will be taken into consideration.......oh and one more thing...before we married in the church, which was quite spur of the moment we had to interview with the bishop surrogate and show our passports so they were fully aware that I was here on a visitor visa....does that mean they broke the law also by letting us get married by common license?  I am out of here now, maybe I will come back, maybe not but good luck to all of you and my facebook friends?  I will see you all on facebook.  

ohh snowlass - Please don't leave as everyone needs to rant and needs support.

One post can't give you a good idea of this forum - you are going thru a terrible time and trust me this forum is GREAT for support and to celebrate and rant.

I do hope everything works out for you in the long run!

As I said, I am sorry you took offense.  

The question isn't whether you lied or not, but rather whether you should take extra care in filling out the application.

I don't want anyone not to be with the person they love and need, but if it looks odd to us it will look odd to the Embassy.  

You came to visit, but you established a residency.  That is all.  

...before we married in the church, which was quite spur of the moment we had to interview with the bishop surrogate and show our passports so they were fully aware that I was here on a visitor visa....does that mean they broke the law also by letting us get married by common license?

No, it's perfectly legal to get married by the CofE while on a visitor visa without having to get a Certificate of Approval from the Home Office. It's a legal loophole in the immigration rules and the Church did nothing wrong.