'Immigration' Ignorance on Facebook

I've had this a bit my acquaintances, but I've always put my foot down when I hear that and both me and the person know we aren't going to be friends because of my discomfort to their feelings.

The thing that is similar to this, but not really the same is lately my British friends have not understood why I was not excited by dh possibly being sent to the US for his job for a long-ish amount of time.  When I explain that this is my home and I am feeling settled and happy here, they just don't seem to get it.  It's more than the people who don't understand why I would want to live here because of the weather, it's almost like, 'well, you can actually go home now, why wouldn't you?'  They just can't seem to get that this is my home.  The other attitude that I don't understand is people telling me, 'well, you'll never actually be British will you?'  It's not what they say but they say it in a 'you'll never be in the cool club' way.  I don't get that attitude, so maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but it makes me feel like even my friends don't think I'll ever really belong here.  

Sorry for the rant, this thread plus a pub conversation last night just stirred it up and I needed to get it out of my head.  /end rant

Back to the real discussion. 

They just can't seem to get that this is my home.  The other attitude that I don't understand is people telling me, 'well, you'll never actually be British will you?'  It's not what they say but they say it in a 'you'll never be in the cool club' way.  I don't get that attitude, so maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but it makes me feel like even my friends don't think I'll ever really belong here.  

Sorry for the rant, this thread plus a pub conversation last night just stirred it up and I needed to get it out of my head.  /end rant

Back to the real discussion. 

No no internet addict, thank for you sharing. It made perfect sense. I'm not sure how long you've been here, but I've only been here almost a year, it almost feels like I'll never completely sink it to being 'British.' I really wish the people I know here could appreciate me for being their friend and not necessarily their American friend.

No no internet addict, thank for you sharing. It made perfect sense. I'm not sure how long you've been here, but I've only been here almost a year, it almost feels like I'll never completely sink it to being 'British.' I really wish the people I know here could appreciate me for being their friend and not necessarily their American friend.

Thanks.  I've been here for 4 years now.  Some of these friends are people within dh's circle who have known me and been my friend for the majority of that time.  It makes me sad because they've seen how hard I've worked to get my British citizenship and to set up my life here.  Oh well.   

A search for "I'm not racist" on Openbook...

http://youropenbook.org/?q=%22i%27m+not+racist%22&x=0&y=0&gender=any

 

Also:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nobody-is-banning-any-England-shirts-you-gullible-xenophobic-fool/118126444889112

 

The thing that is similar to this, but not really the same is lately my British friends have not understood why I was not excited by dh possibly being sent to the US for his job for a long-ish amount of time.  When I explain that this is my home and I am feeling settled and happy here, they just don't seem to get it.  It's more than the people who don't understand why I would want to live here because of the weather, it's almost like, 'well, you can actually go home now, why wouldn't you?'  They just can't seem to get that this is my home.  The other attitude that I don't understand is people telling me, 'well, you'll never actually be British will you?'  It's not what they say but they say it in a 'you'll never be in the cool club' way.  I don't get that attitude, so maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but it makes me feel like even my friends don't think I'll ever really belong here.

You know how you feel about yourself, identity wise and where is home. You are privileged and lucky to have a wider understanding of these things and not everyone will understand or experience that.   I'm sorry that they have such narrow views about identity and meaning of home and accepting the diversity in people, but that's their loss, not yours. 

Back to topic. Sorry.

A search for "I'm not racist" on Openbook...

http://youropenbook.org/?q=%22i%27m+not+racist%22&x=0&y=0&gender=any

 

Why do I feel like some of the turban and burkha-wearers know more about British history and government than these people?

The other attitude that I don't understand is people telling me, 'well, you'll never actually be British will you?'  It's not what they say but they say it in a 'you'll never be in the cool club' way.  I don't get that attitude, so maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but it makes me feel like even my friends don't think I'll ever really belong here.  

I'm sorry that has happened to you.    If it were me, I'd be inclined to launch into a brief educational response   for said ignorant individuals, with something like - 'I think the word you probably meant to use was English (Scottish/Welsh/Irish).  You're right, I will never be English.  Being British is a different matter entirely, as I'm sure you must know, don't you?'  And then smile sweetly.  

Either that or laugh in their face and say something like - 'Ha ha!  You should be so lucky, eh?'  

It may be that I just don't tend to pay much attention to miscellaneous comments from the peanut gallery, or maybe I've been lucky - after my citizenship ceremony, my various workmates and other native British friends would say, 'You're one of us now.'  It was nice - or maybe they just wanted me to pay for the next round...  

after my citizenship ceremony, my various workmates and other native British friends would say, 'You're one of us now.'  It was nice - or maybe they just wanted me to pay for the next round...  

That last sentence proves that you're "one of us"...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nobody-is-banning-any-England-shirts-you-gullible-xenophobic-fool/118126444889112

 

I was at Tesco today and the entire side wall was nothing but England football shirts (most of them specifically relevant to the World Cup).  I laughed to myself as I thought "What a shame...all those shirts and nobody will be allowed to wear them"...lol.

That last sentence proves that you're "one of us"...

Lol! 

I had a similar situation when I was teaching my first year in Norwich - the students were complaning about immigrants, mostly Polish in that area, and I reminded them that I was an immigrant, and the exact words "oh we don' mean you Miss" came out of their mouths as well - it's really too bad that they were just repeating the words their parents said.

I have had the old "we don't mean conversation" too many times to count.  I always answer with "so who do you mean."  This is usually followed with a comment about those immigrants on benefits.  And I then have an opportunity to discuss EU immigrants versus other immigrants and really educate them.  Every time I have had this conversation, the person has left with a different perspective and I am less irritated!

Every time I have had this conversation, the person has left with a different perspective and I am less irritated!

I envy you: every time I have that conversation I leave with the distinct feeling that the other person is rolling their eyes behind my back and saying "Bloody PC brigade!"

What I try to do is draw the statement out of the other person -- "what immigrants are you talking about." And then add education to it -- "oh you mean the immigrants on benefits, did you know that non-EU immigrants can't claim benefits?" 

I don't give my opinion.  I don't preach.  I simply take their statement and add facts. 

Yesterday I was talking to my sister in the US, and she asked me if I felt like an immigrant. (She was thinking about it because she had been hearing about stuff about immigration on the news)

I told her yes, that I was an immigrant, and she was surprised.

She thought that since I had been here for five years and was now a dual citizen, I wouldn't feel like an immigrant anymore

Now, I feel like I fit in and I get along with people (I get to buy rounds  ) but I still come from a different culture than people who were born here. My experiences in school were different, my experiences at work have been different, my experiences in social situations have been different. The way I think and the way I behave comes from all the experiences that I've had in my life, in both America and in England.

Speaking English, having a British passport, and having white skin isn't going to change that.