Should I take UK job offer or stay in US with my girlfriend?

For the past two and a half years, I've dated a girl (she is 26 and I am 29) who lives in the same city I work in. I commute to this city approx 40 miles each way daily on the train.  When I first met her I lived in this city and told her I would be moving back with my parents for 6 months to save money but would move back afterward.  Unfortunately, the economy started to deteriorate and the company that owns my company eventually went bankrupt.  After this, there were several rounds of layoffs that I survived.  However, I was still wary that the economy (and more specifically, the financial services industry) was still in an unstable state and decided to continue to live rent free in suburbs with my parents to establish a sufficient cash cushion instead of moving to the city I work in/she lives in.  

At this point, she has lost trust in my word (boy who cried wolf syndrome) since I have told her several times that I would move back and have not yet.  When I do see her, I usually, have to stay at her place (she lives with her sister) for longer periods (many hours or a whole day as opposed to a few hours if I lived closer).  She is perceiving me as using her to get the "best of both worlds" by living rent free and taking advantage of her place to sleep sometimes and quickly commute to work.  I do support her emotionally, take her out to eat fairly regularly, buy her flowers/gifts occasionally and just generally there for her.  We both are bored in the bedroom except when we take trips to other cities.

Our relationship over the past few months has been getting worse.  She recently booked a trip to Cancun with her sister without telling me.  She did tell me she wanted to go on a vacation this summer, but one day she asked me to watch her place and I ask her why her sister couldn't do it.  Then she tells me she and her sister booked a trip.  I think it's pretty cold for someone to not tell their boyfriend/girlfriend before booking a trip out of the country...even if it is with their sister.  I trust her and she was with her sister the entire time, so I wasn't worried that she would be with someone else, but the fact that she didn't tell me before booking irked me.  Then she said after the fact, "you can come if you want"...all I could think was who wants to be an afterthought?...so I declined. She also asked "why do I have to run things by you before I book a trip"...seems basic in a relationship, I'm never controlling with her, so I don't understand this behavior...seems like common relationship courtesy to me.  I booked a trip to Vegas last June for my cousin I hadn't seen in 13yrs' birthday party. She knew exactly when I was going...I think she did the Mexico trip to somehow get back at me for Vegas.

Sorry for rambling, but my company recently offered me a transfer to a London company making 63K GBP  asking for a 2 year commitment.  I have always wanted to travel the world since I was young (only been to Mexico so far), but at this point I'm not sure what to do about my girlfriend.  I love her, but her affection towards me is waning, mainly because I don't live close to her and I have been saying for nearly three years that I would (I was actively looking for apartments in her city...nearly signing a new lease the week before my job offer).  I would gladly take her with me, but she started a new job less than a year ago and has 2 semesters left to finish her Masters degree.  

I'm wondering whether I should

1) break it off and go,  
2) decline the job offer and move to the city I work in/she lives in or
3) go and try to brave the treacherous world of the long distance relationship and hope that it lasts until she is done with her Masters and potentially move back here.  

When I first told her about the opportunity, she said it was great opportunity and if she got a similar one, she would probably take it.  

Your thoughts/experiences?

Take the job if you want it. The distance might liven her up a bit, or it might kill the relationship. Only one way to find out. Sounds to me like you could use a change in your life.

I'd agree with Tremula.  Take the job if it's really what you want, but have a good think about what you really want LONG term, not just for the present.  If you love your girlfriend and can see yourself spending the rest of your life with her, then it's worth moving mountains to make the relationship work.  But that's not the impression I'm getting from you - you sound more ambivalent.  In that case the separation may make things clearer.  And you seem in limbo at the moment anyway, so you need to do something I think. 

I think her reaction to your offer says it all...she'd take it if she were you.

I'd take the job and see if the relationship lasts. If it doesn't then there's something better out there for you. At this point in your life you need to look long term and build your carreer. You've been given an oppourtunity that 99.99% of the population never gets...jump at it.

If it were me, and I wanted that job I would take it.  In theory, it's only 2 years which would be tough on a relationship, but if it is a rock solid one you would probably make it through.  People on this board have gone for longer and have been successful.

To be honest, I doubt your relationship problems will be fixed by moving to the same city as your girlfriend anyway.  But you obviously know more about it than I do.  Like others have said, I guess you have to look at how much of a future you think you have with your girlfriend.

Good luck with your decision.

Go for it - sounds like a dream job opportunity to me!  Things don't sound very fulfilling on the girlfriend front, tbh.  There are lots of fish in the sea and you are young!

Good luck!

In your shoes, I would take the job offer. It sounds like a dream for you and I would kick myself if an opportunity to fulfil a dream came to me and I didn't grab it.

If things are meant to be with the girlfriend, you'll both make the effort to work it through the distance. It sounds like you are unsure about the long term viability of this relationship and the space also may allow you some clarity to understand what you want out of a relationship and if you want one.

Good luck! 

I agree with what everyone else said. Take the job offer.

If you stay where you are just to maintain the relationship - which according to your own words you are ambivalent about anyway - you are only going to resent your girlfriend for taking this opportunity away from you. It will just make your relationship worse.

Give it a go and move to the UK for 2 years and what a great salary to boot - If its meant to be, its meant to be with your relationship.  It will work if its meant to, if not, it would have probably broken anyways and then you gave up a good opportunity  

Thanks for the replies everyone, this is tough though since I've been with her for almost three years 

I think that only you can really make this decision.  At the end of it all, we do not know you or your girlfriend and we only have to go on what you have told us.  The stuff you have described may send up warning flags to us, but you are living the day to day experience.  The question that comes to me after reading some of your other posts, is how do you feel about the move yourself?  If you did not have a gf, would you move or would you choose not to?  I hope you don't mind me saying it, but from some of your other posts, it seems like you aren't sure of moving yourself so you may want to really examine how you feel about the move and then talk to her about your thoughts again.  The other thing I thought was when you talked to her originally and she said she would probably take the opportunity if she had it, did you ask her in her mind where that would leave your relationship?  Maybe talk to your family or friends as well, people who see your relationship.  An outside perspective from people who know you both may help. 

Good luck with your decision!  I hope you let us know what you decide.  It sounds like an incredibly tough one! 

I second that this is really only a decision you can make. In saying that, I can sense that you are already leaning towards taking the job. I can only comment on what you've said here, and it appears from your explanation that things in the relationship have already started going downhill. It would be a shame to throw away a great career opportunity only to find that the relationship ends anyway. But just be sure you examine things really closely before you decide. You want to put yourself in a position where you will have the fewest regrets as possible.

Take the job. It's an amazing opportunity. This may sound trite, but if your relationship is meant to be, it will work out. You may have been with her for three years, but please don't use that as an excuse to stay. I have a friend who isn't happy in her relationship but is afraid to break up with her significant other because she thinks, "Well, what would I have to show for the last five years?" She'll be saying the same thing ten years from now and no happier if she follows that logic.

I agree with everyone here. Take the job! Don't stay in a relationship if the only reason is because it's been going on for three years. That's not fair to either of you. The offer sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity and plus you said that you wanted to see the world - well, in London, you'll have a lot of it at your fingertips.

Plus, I just read another one of your posts that said you wanted "young singles and nightlife" near your accommodation. I think your answer might be in that as well.