Making the most of visits

My bf is visiting me next week in NY/NJ for a little less than two weeks and I couldn't be more excited.  I feel like there is going to be a lot to pack into the visit though; I think we need to have a series of Big Talks about what our future is going to look like and how we're going to manage it.  We've definitely talked a lot about all that on IM and video chat but I think some things need to be discussed in person.  On the other hand, I'd like to make the most of this trip and do a lot of fun stuff; I want to show him why I love New York City so damn much and I want my friends and family to get to know him a little and like him so they'll be supportive of all of those Big Decisions we have to make, sooner than later.  And, of course, I'd like to have plenty ahem, alone time with him, since obviously, we don't get that long distance.  How do/did other people fit all of these things into a relatively short visit without getting overwhelmed?  I want this visit to go really, really well and I'm not type A at all but how do I pull this off?  I'm not sure when I'm going to see him next and I really do think that things need to be discussed but I'm not sure how to not let that dominate the visit.   

I wouldn't worry too much, just enjoy your time with your man.   

I have to laugh, when my man used to come visit me in NYC when we were *ahem* younger, we would spend all day in bed and go out all night. Those were the days...now we have two kids, jobs, mortgages and how I long for those days!!!

Enjoy your time together! Go with the flow and just explore NYC and the environs!!

I think it is important to have some time just as everyday life together..without special plans and visits--it is different being together day to day than being together as tourists.
It was after a visit where I actually had to work and was sick during a large part of it that I knew I wanted to be with him always.

Yep, I wouldn't plan too much. I'd just go with the flow. You could have a lunch here or there with friends, etc., but be sure to spend some time at home together, just cooking meals and watching movies and um, other stuff, and just see how it feels to be a "normal" couple. That's the best and most important stuff, and all those little things become so much more meaningful to you when you don't get to do them very often. I still remember DH and I making sandwiches together in my little kitchen the first time he came to visit and other little things like that and it makes me smile. Have fun!

Just fifth-ing what everyone has said. I think the key is time together, rather than any particular activity, per se. Have fun! 

Weeeeellll....at the moment, I'm unemployed, and living at home with my parents (in NJ, instead of in the city, where I'd lived since I was 18).  So less than ideal and not really "normal life."   And not a ton of privacy, at home.  So we're definitely going to be in the city, doing my version of tourist stuff (ie, the best pierogies in Greenpoint, not Planet Hollywood).  But thanks everyone, I'll try to take a chill pill about getting it all in--after all, (hopefully) this won't be, by far, his last visit to New York. 

When I was over there in February/March, I ended up doing almost no London tourist things at all.  Some of my friends and family were horrified but some got that that's not why I was there.  He got some terrible news while I was there (his best friend's fiancee learned that she would die of cancer, within a fortnight--she ended up dying within a week, but after I left) and we would just rather stay in bed, snuggling and watching funny TV on the internet than go out much. 

I completely agree about doing normal couple-y things, just whatever you two feel like doing.

New York is an amazing place (I lived there for a summer) and there are so many lovely, fun, romantic things you can show him!  I'm sure he'll want to do some touristy things, but certainly don't feel you have to pack it all in to one visit.  I think he'll really love seeing the things you love about New York -- the things that make it special to you.  You should definitely introduce him to quality New York food -- I miss the pizza and the bagels and Gray's Papaya so much.

Maybe you guys can do some romantic summer outdoors things?  There are so many free outside things in the summer there.  My favorite park is Bryant Park and they have outdoor movies on Monday nights, those are really fun.  People bring food and have a picnic as the sun sets and then the film starts.  The summer I was there, I saw Suspicion and (love this film) Touch of Evil.  Also, some days they have a pianist playing live music for a few hours.  I've seen a guy playing Gershwin before -- people were just sitting around, reading, talking -- it was really lovely and romantic.

But I'm sure you have your own favorite New York things that your boyfriend would like to see

Can you guys maybe stay in a hotel one or two nights?  I live with my parents for the moment too and I know how awkward it can be sometimes -- I think it would be nice to have a base of your own in the city for part of his visit.  Then you guys could get a real taste of living together, even if it's only for a night.  You could do a whole night on the town if you're so inclined, and then you'll have somewhere to go afterwards

Good luck with your Big Talks and I hope you guys have a great time!

I wish a hotel was in the budget!  But it's not.  Anything non-flea bag and gross costs upward of $200 in New York.  I actually thought about going to Boston for a few days as a diversion (and an excuse to stay in a hotel!) but we just can't afford that expense, at the moment.  So my parents' and possibly friends' pull out couches or air mattresses if they want to be kind (although, of course, no privacy, in those cases, just proximity to the city). 

I definitely have a must-eats list for him!  Pierogies and Grimaldi's Pizza and Korean food and Chipotle (they're opening one in London and I want him to get as addicted as me!) and bagels, for sure (I'm vegetarian so I don't get the Grey's Papaya thing).  We have tickets to a Yankees Game and for the minor league baseball team in NJ my uncle used to play for (and still works for), because I think that a baseball game will be a good American experience.  We'll take the Staten Island Ferry and walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and go to the Transit Museum (by far, my favorite New York museum, and cheap!) and take a tour of the Brooklyn Brewery.  So my list isn't really the "biggest hits" of New York (I avoid midtown like the plague)--more like what I love about it.  Unfortunately, the Bryant Park movies don't start until later in the summer.  When I asked him what he wanted to do, the only thing he could come up with was see the fire station from Ghostbusters.  So it's all me as far as figuring out what to do. 

My advice? Make a list of things you want to do each day, and give yourself the freedom to competely throw them out the window if you want to lay in bed and "watch movies."

Honestly, the first time I went to Scotland to see my fiance, we spent the whole week hitting up all the big things to see and do, and after I left, I think we both kind of regretted not just spending more time just being with each other and staying in.

Some hostels also have couples / family rooms for booking:

http://www.hinewyork.org/rooms.shtml

ETA: or university dorms?

Or tripadvisor?

http://www.tripadvisor.com

I wish a hotel was in the budget!  But it's not.  Anything non-flea bag and gross costs upward of $200 in New York.  I actually thought about going to Boston for a few days as a diversion (and an excuse to stay in a hotel!) but we just can't afford that expense, at the moment.  So my parents' and possibly friends' pull out couches or air mattresses if they want to be kind (although, of course, no privacy, in those cases, just proximity to the city).

This hotel has been recommended to me a few times: http://www.riversidetowerhotel.com/
I've never stayed there myself so I can't vouch for it, but I've always wanted to try it out.

Oh, and I went to uni in Boston, it's lovely at this time of year!  I prefer New York, though

I definitely have a must-eats list for him!  Pierogies and Grimaldi's Pizza and Korean food and Chipotle (they're opening one in London and I want him to get as addicted as me!) and bagels, for sure (I'm vegetarian so I don't get the Grey's Papaya thing).  We have tickets to a Yankees Game and for the minor league baseball team in NJ my uncle used to play for (and still works for), because I think that a baseball game will be a good American experience.  We'll take the Staten Island Ferry and walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and go to the Transit Museum (by far, my favorite New York museum, and cheap!) and take a tour of the Brooklyn Brewery.  So my list isn't really the "biggest hits" of New York (I avoid midtown like the plague)--more like what I love about it.  Unfortunately, the Bryant Park movies don't start until later in the summer.  When I asked him what he wanted to do, the only thing he could come up with was see the fire station from Ghostbusters.  So it's all me as far as figuring out what to do. 

Aw, that's cute about the fire station!  Baseball is a great idea for something very American.  And good calls on all the food.  I love, love, love Chipotle.  My friends in London got tired of hearing about how much I missed it.. but now that it's there, the ones who have been understand

The Brooklyn Bridge is the most romantic place in New York to me (well, Bryant Park is very close)..  I have so many memories associated with it.

I concur Carrie! I just went through one of those weeks. We thought of things we 'could' do, but made no plans. It was great! We literally made up our mind each day as to what we were doing. The primary focus was just doing stuff together. BF was much more comfortable that way too. So comfortable he even said it was time to meet some of my family...much to my surprise. [successful meeting too]

Tea, I took him to a baseball game too. He liked it "more than he thought" and it was better than cricket. So now he won't complain when I'm living there watching replays of Dodger games online

Give him quality time with you and a small taste of why you like the NY metro area and he'll understand your passion for the area.

I concur Carrie! I just went through one of those weeks. We thought of things we 'could' do, but made no plans. It was great! We literally made up our mind each day as to what we were doing. The primary focus was just doing stuff together. BF was much more comfortable that way too. So comfortable he even said it was time to meet some of my family...much to my surprise. [successful meeting too]

Yea, we tried that when I was in England and ended up doing almost nothing aside from cuddling in bed, etc.  Granted, he was going through a hard time and the weather wasn't as nice.  But still.  We won't do anything that way.  Although, he'll have to meet a large part of my family, because of the circumstances.  There's no choice in the matter.  But that's ok; I want them to meet him. 

Thanks for the link to the hotel, teatime, but $130+tax is still well out of our budget for that sort of thing, at the moment.  Good to know about the place though!