Please Help Me Be Romantic!!

Hi everyone...

I desperately need some quick advice.  My fiancée will be arriving here in the US on June 10.  It is her first visit to the states.  It looks like we will be getting married while she is here at the courthouse, with a more proper ceremony in the UK after we've gone through the process of getting my visa.  This has all come up pretty quickly to expedite acquisition of the visa. 

Besides the decision to get married during this visit being made for practical reasons, her trip here has been delayed twice -- once due to that silly volcano in Iceland, and the second time due to an accident.  Sooo...  I have been in the position of not knowing exactly when she'd be able to come.  Thus, very little opportunity for planning...

I need some ideas on what to do or buy to make her feel special, to make this as memorable as possible for both of us.  This is my first marriage, and I hate the idea of it not being a celebration of our love.  But... I'm literally paralyzed with not knowing what to do!!!

The only thing I've managed to accomplish is to prepare a list of possible activities we can do together while she is here.  And to get her a personalized plaque with our names and the year that we met inscribed on it.  I do intend to have flowers for her when I pick her up at the airport.  But this all seems so very feeble...

What should I be doing???  Poems ... which one(s), where do I get them?  Romantic movies ... which one(s)??  I don't know what size ring she wears ... I don't even have a nice suit to wear for the ceremony.  Just 10 days and she'll be here...  Help, help, help!!! Major panicking going on!!!

Teddy 

Hi Teddy,
How about renting a suit from a place like Al's Tuxedo, or anywhere they do formal wear for men? That might be a good place to start. You don't want to turn up for the wedding in jeans, unless that's her thing. How about decorating your place for her? When my DH first came to visit me, I made a Welcome to Your Second Home banner and hung that so he saw it when he first walked in the door. It was a little easier for me because it was Boxing Day (the day after xmas), so I had a stocking with his name embroidered on it and stuffed it with goodies, but maybe you could do something similar to that with a small wrapped gift of something you think she would like? If you don't know her ring size, you can either buy a bit larger than you think and then have it sized after she arrives, or the better option, take her shopping to pick something out, even if its only temporary until you can afford something better. We went to a sterling silver jeweler and got some plain silver bands with each other's names engraved on them, which was cheaper and more sentimental to us than the diamond option, but the engraving might take a bit, so you may have to check and see. Otherwise, maybe just find a cool vintage style ring for her with a gemstone in it or something like that, depending on her style. Also, when DH came for the first time, I put a nice bottle of champagne in a wine bucket with some ice just before I left to pick him up from the airport so we could celebrate as soon as we got to my house, and then I sprinkled the table with Hershey Kisses and some candles, etc. just to make it look nice. I think I also had some Christmas music going that I left on when I left the house, but you could put in some romantic tunes or some music that both of you like on repeat while you go pick her up so the mood is kind of set when you walk in. Mainly, all that matters is that you will be together, so just do a few nice things that you think she will like, and everything else should fall into place. Also, possibly too personal and probably too obvious, but do try to find some nice undies to wear instead of some old ones with holes in them or something horrible like that.  (Not that DH did this, but you never know about some guys... I think sometimes men don't think about these things!  )

Great ideas Jewlz. And good for you two Teddy.

Remember that as much of a formality as you may see the courthouse ceremony, its still a ceremony! For yourself, get the basics out of the way...suit, romantic dinner afterwards, maybe a limo/town car to take you to and fro. Something that will make it memorable. Follow that with some leisurely days of seeing a few sites. But don't lose sight of the wedding and spending time together. Other things to do while she's here: cook some meals together, breakfast in bed perhaps? Or really good phone numbers for carry out if you don't cook!

From a gals perspective, maybe a day or 1/2 day of pampering at a spa would make her feel special before the ceremony. Even just a manicure/pedicure might make her feel good. You could even sneak in a massage and relax a bit!

And don't stress on the ring. You can always get one and have it resized. Or if you don't dare try to choose, do something fun (take a cue from a friend of mine who received a literal rock on her finger...a rock glued to a toy ring...as her now husband wanted her to pick what she wanted)

Just remember, whatever happens its all about the 2 of you being the 2 of you and spending time together.


PS: Teddy don't mind the fact that I appear a rookie. I've been reading the site for months now 

Oh Jewlz & alilbabba, fret worry sweat angst!  Renting a suit won't work for me because mine all need tailoring!  I did mention this to her - and she asked my size, so I suspect she's gotten something for me to wear - though it will prolly also need to be taken up - which also makes me frantic because, where, where, where to do all this in the short 2 weeks she'll be with me!?!?

I do have the underwear under control!!    I've bought a nice bubble bath for her and have some candles, as I know taking a bath is important to her.  I also need to stock the house with food.  Not sure on that one... I can't really cook.  She says she will cook for us.

I think I will use some of the ideas.  I'd thought of doing a banner, but where to get one?  Are there places that will print off banners with words & graphics of one's choice?  If so, where, and do I have a chance of getting something back before the 10th??  I love the idea of the Hershey Kisses on the table. 

I don't think I dare do the ring ... I'd rather let her choose.  But that movie image of opening the little box, so stuck in my mind!  :-(  If I knew where to get the plastic ring, I like the idea of putting a rock on it.  If I can't find a plastic ring, maybe I could just draw the ring with some hearts and sweet nothings on a piece of paper??

I believe a friend of mine will drive us to the courthouse.  I hope that is not too unromantic.  I don't drive, myself, and so we are kinda limited on that one.  :-( 

As you all can see, I'm fretting myself to death!!  I would so like to make it special for her.  I love her soooo much.

I was reading another thread about our lives being like scenes from a movie ... the sad goodbyes at the airport and so on.  Lots of mushy movies were mentioned, but I didn't write down the names, and can't find the thread again.  If the movies are really good, I could rent some of them from Netflix and watch them with her.

Thank you, thank you, both!!  And alilbabba, I'm a rookie, too.  So, no worries!!  Anymore suggestion, please keep them coming.  I'm just a basket case.

Teddy

The Holiday!!! Of course, that movie totally skips the whole visa issue, but nevermind!

And I love these ideas. I was reading them out to my bf who's coming to visit me in 2 weeks. I'm trying to spark his romantic side!!

You really ARE a stress ball! Deeeeeep breath my friend.

Ring: inexpensive ones, maybe a step up from plastic, can be found about anywhere...Kohls, Macys, any department type store should have reasonable ones. You could probably get a box from them too and fulfill that dream.

Banner: talk to the folks at Kinkos. You can bring something in (that a computer savvy friend could make and put on a flash drive), design it there or they could do it for you. There's probably cheaper options at a local print store.

Here's a thought - not knowing what her expectations are - could you invite her to do some things with you? Sort of preparation time together. Like pick out your outfit for the ceremony? If not a tux, maybe a snappy pair of pants, button down and a tie? Have her help pick a restaurant?

Other 'welcome' ideas - not knowing where you are - get some visitor information on your town. Something she can browse to learn more about the area. Picnics are a good idea to help her see a special part of town. Picnic can be informal too! A blanket and pick up from your local favorite place is all it takes.

I'll stop now. I need to stop piling on to your stress level. Just be yourself and you'll be great.

ok rings nice I got mine at Walmart sterling silver my size $50..an you can always make your own sign doesn't have to be a banner..remember it's time together thats important not stuff..just enjoy each other an best of luck to you both

Gotta - let me know if you find out how to spark that!!! We'll write a book and make millions.

Gotta - let me know if you find out how to spark that!!! We'll write a book and make millions.

Haha! Then I can come over on the Rich A$$ Mother'* visa. We'll see if he'll take any hints in about 3 weeks! I'll try to remember to report back! heh

Teddy, I love the idea of drawing a picture of a ring on a bit of paper! That is so sweet! You could get on one knee and pull that out of your pocket and then ask her if she is ready to go shopping for the real one. Awwww. 

If you are in a city that has a Lush location, they sell all kinds of fun stuff for the bath. Just tell the employees what you are looking for and I'm sure they would be happy to give some advice. They have bath ballistics, which fizz and bubble and make pretty colours and spread flowers inside the bath, as well as massage bars, which might be a nice idea, too, so you can give her a back rub and foot rub after her long journey.  If you don't have a Lush, then you could still find some nice massage oils or things like that. Maybe some sort of reed diffuser or other air freshener to make your place smell really nice. Aromatherapy is always helpful when you want to relax. (Unless, of course, she has allergies or is sensitive to some smells!)

As far as movies go, The Holiday is really cute, and there are lots of others, but it really depends on what sort of movies she likes. Usually romantic comedies are a good bet. The Proposal was good. Hmmm... hard to think of others just now.

You could definitely get some sort of banner done up at a Kinko's or other copy place in a week's time, but I just drew mine by hand on some poster board. Just be creative and see what you can do with it.

If you can afford it, I think the spa idea is lovely, or even just let her get a manicure and pedicure or facial or something like that. You could drop by a local salon and see if they have a pamphlet of services that they offer, then let her choose a package that sounds nice. If you can't really afford to do that, you could take her into a shop and let her choose some pampering gifts for herself.

Above all, don't stress yourself out too much. It sounds like you are trying really hard here and I am sure she will see that and really appreciate it and feel how much you love her. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! 

Breathe man, breathe!

First for the ring, I have one word for you: Ringpop! (until you get her a proper ring). I don't know what city you are in but maybe for a banner you could go to a place like Party City and buy one there? As for the tux, if it's a wedding in the courthouse you might be able to get a nice pair of trousers and a nice dress shirt instead of trying to get a suit tailored. Give us an idea of what your fiance is like so we can come up with better suggestions for you!

Elle

Everyone on here has offered you really good advice on what to do..here is my suggestion..what I wanted more then anything when I went to visit my fiance...was his undivided attention...It was the special days of it just being me and him..whether it be staying in and watching a movie on tv..just going for a walk...or whatever..just being with him because he was who I was there to visit was all that mattered..they were some of the best times of our dating...just having it be me and him and him treating me like I was the only one that mattered..it sounds weird but it was great to know how much he loved me..he didn't have to buy me any big presents or anything he just had to show me how much he loved me...good luck with everything and I am sure you will be fine...like I said everything everyone suggested sounds great

Everyone on here has offered you really good advice on what to do..here is my suggestion..what I wanted more then anything when I went to visit my fiance...was his undivided attention...It was the special days of it just being me and him..whether it be staying in and watching a movie on tv..just going for a walk...or whatever..just being with him because he was who I was there to visit was all that mattered..they were some of the best times of our dating...just having it be me and him and him treating me like I was the only one that mattered..it sounds weird but it was great to know how much he loved me..he didn't have to buy me any big presents or anything he just had to show me how much he loved me...good luck with everything and I am sure you will be fine...like I said everything everyone suggested sounds great

I agree with this.  I had to work through a lot of my Dh's visit to the US before we were married.  But he'd come visit me in my office and it was nice.  He knew I hated having to work, and in the evenings we would just watch films or walk down by the river by my apartment.  It was nice and we really enjoyed it.  But I think the one thing I would suggest is not too put too much pressure on yourself to make it right, but just rely on what you know about yourselves together.  We could be ourselves together and just be and that was the most romantic part.   

Haha! Then I can come over on the Rich A$$ Mother'* visa. We'll see if he'll take any hints in about 3 weeks! I'll try to remember to report back! heh

If you find a way to do this then a gathering of food and drinks are on you! 

If you find a way to do this then a gathering of food and drinks are on you!  

It'd be my pleasure!