"I could never go back to the US"...why not?

but ASDAs are pretty good when you have a pregnancy craving and need it NOW!

I've found that Tesco's bakery section ones are not bad for this...

I don't know if I could move back to the States, not because of anything in particular, but I'm used to life here now. Things are slower, work is less important (the thought of a 40 hour work week and 2 weeks annual leave is painful), the relief that a heafty portion of my monthly income isn't being spent on health insurance, and my quality of life feels better.  I think it's like people who say that they've lived in Minnesota for so long that life there becomes normal for them and they can't see themselves living elsewhere.  That's how it feels to me.  I'm just comfortable here.

I'm always surprised to see how many people are longing to go back to the US!

I've only lived in the UK for a few months, but havent' lived in the US since 2002, when I left for Switzerland.

I haven't even been back for a visit since 2007, and after my father passes away (hopefully quite some time from now!), I don't see myself going for visits even that often.

I don't want to move back to the US, but my husband wants to move from the UK, so I am not totally ruling it out.  I'd rather move to a third country.  In fact, even if he wasn't so interested in moving from the UK, I'd probably want to move to a third country. [Edit: Not because I don't like it here, but because I like living in different cultures.]

I don't think that the US is all materialistic or one way or another.  I think there are great variations in the quality life, the pace of life, and the values of the people living there.  I don't, however, feel like I fit in there, and never have.  I do feel I fit here a bit more.  

I just feel more at home here than in the US.  I don't miss many things from the US, honestly.  I go through periods where I feel cut off a bit culturally and periods where I have a sort of homesickness, but it goes.  I do miss Thanksgiving, and it's my hardest time here usually.  I wouldn't move back just for Thanksgiving though.

I'm probably one of those given ideal situations (or even just having a semi-decent support system here of family/friends) that would never go back to the US. I love it here.

What I don't love is how being here is affecting my husband and it is just draining the life from him (and he's the British one in the family). It's also not the best (we believe) place to raise our daughter either. So for that we've begun the process to return to the US -- and for those that have been through the process understand what kind of a hassle & headache UK immigration is the US process is 10 times as bad! Which in my mind is why some may make the choice to stay.

But I really believe that if it was just my husband and I we would stay in the UK, but we have a 2 year old that is missing out on her extended family, growing up in a very wonderful place where I grew up (we have a house in my hometown not far from my parents) that's not changed in 30 years, good schools and I can go back to my old career and DH is ready for a change in career...there are no drawbacks to us returning to the US.

Other than I'll miss my friends dearly and the place where I could really say that I felt finally 'home'....but that too will pass.

from years of lurking here, it seems that there are a few categories of people who would say 'i'll never move back' 

those who say it the most emphatically are the ones who have left bad situations behind in the US.  a fair amount of people on here seem to have have had serious financial issues in the US, and i think appreciate the government safety net in the UK more as such. 

another handful have left very difficult family relations in the US, and are more comfortable with the distance. 

others have moved here to be with a partner or spouse, and have naturally fit in. 

how one does or doesn't settle in the UK is not something to be proud or ashamed of, though you will find that attitude in some posts.  everyone is different and has their own place in the world....  people on both sides of the pond wear rose colored glasses from time to time, so don't worry that you are missing something

I think this is a good post. It is true that some people are very proud of the way they have fit in here and tend to be a bit critical of others who they feel "aren't trying hard enough" or what have you. But everyone is different, and you are right, there is no reason to feel ashamed about not fitting in as well as other people have or being more homesick than some other people. I struggled during my driving lessons a bit, and a lot of other people just took to driving here straightaway, which made me feel a bit embarrassed, but really, it isn't down to ability (all of those people and myself included were confident drivers in the states and probably on a similar driving skill level) but it often comes down to confidence and belief in yourself. Some people have it in abundance, others have more anxious natures or a lot of self-doubt (like myself at times). And there are those of us who were a bit lonely in the US, or didn't have health insurance or had financial difficulties, or who aren't too close to our families, so I think all of those statements are pretty fair, though it isn't the case for all of us, of course. So, to the OP, you will always get different responses from each person to questions like this, which is what makes this forum so great.

But for my personal reasons, I think the following are pretty big perks of living in the UK:

1. My family - yeah, pretty obvious, but it's true. My hubster is my best friend, and the best person ever. And he has a young son here who we would never see if we lived in the USA, we would miss watching him grow up and having a close relationship with him. I really enjoy being a stepmom, and I can't imagine moving away from him. Plus, my mother in law has become one of my best friends and I love having them nearby. They are great people and they have always made me feel welcome here. They've been so supportive.

2. Weather - I like the weather here much more than Texas which is where I am from (if I say that to an English person, I get this response -  ). It's just too hot there in summer, and there are some pretty extreme weather situations from time to time (tornados, flash floods, ice storms, and hurricanes and tropical storms down south) and I haven't been missing out on any of that by being here. I like the cooler temperatures here and having a real winter. Christmas feels more like Christmas here, because it's doubtful that I could be standing around outside in a t-shirt.

3. Employment - I do complain a lot about not being paid enough, and I think a lot of jobs here don't pay what they should. However, when you factor in that most people get 5 weeks holiday per year compared to one or two weeks in USA (on average) then it's a pretty sweet deal. 

4. Closeness to Europe and availability of cheaper travel. Of course, you can travel within the US to many places for cheap, but its nice to just hop on a plane for 3 hours and experience a totally different culture from the one you currently live in.

5. Healthcare - yep, you said it. I sometimes didn't have insurance in the states, and when I did, it didn't often cover the few things I needed it to cover. There was always a carry-on with co-pays and paperwork and whatever. And the premiums were really expensive. I love knowing that here, even in the worst situation (DH and I both being made redundant, for example) that at least we would have healthcare. My mom had good health insurance, but is still deep in debt over a brain surgery she had nearly 10 years ago. It's good to know that we wouldn't have to worry about finding ourselves in that situation. (And this is the main reason DH wouldn't want to live in the USA).

And in general, we live in a beautiful little village by the sea surrounded by castles, so you know, that isn't too bad.  I lived in the city most of the time in Texas, so the change has been really good for me and I feel so much less stress now. I wouldn't say I can't ever imagine moving back to the US, but if I did, I would miss the beauty of this place more than I could ever say. I love walking on the beach every day in the cold wind off the North Sea... some people wouldn't enjoy that, but to me, it's exhilirating (and a great cure for a hangover!) I am sure there are far more enjoyable places to live in the US than the city where I am from, though, so it's a bit of an unfair comparison. Basically, if I ever did move back there, I would have to find some place new, because I now know that I was never truly happy where I was, even though I love my family and friends and miss them every day.

I often feel like I don't fit in well enough, and that perhaps I'm just not working at it hard enough.  I'm in a different situation than most here -- my husband and I are both american, he's working for an american company and we'll eventually be transferred somewhere else.  I strongly suspect that has something to do with it -- there's been no "full immersion" like there would be with a British partner, or even coming over alone for work or education. 

It doesn't mean I'm not happy here -- I am.  I love London and it was a lifelong dream to live here.  I absolutely struggle with things, but I like to think I've come up with a hybrid sort of life.  That's probably viewed as less authentic an experience, but it works for me.   

 

I think us folks from Jersey are guilty of this based on our proximity to New York! 

There is something in the water in Jersey...All breads taste better..subs, pizza and bagels oh heck and hard rolls with butter!

I don't see us going back to the US for many reasons.
1. DH has 2 daughters and if we picked up and moved we would never see them enough for my standards.
2. We plan on having a child within the next year so raising the child here and then what mid-way once the other girls are grown pick and move - no don't see it happening
3. Yep healthcare is a big priority
4. DH works in the north sea and to go back to Texas would be a huge crap shoot as the working conditions and safety is not the same as here.
5. We have family close here and for us to get family in the US would mean move to Jersey and I say no thank you
6. My best friend is here is obviously the reason I am here and it was the right reason

I think everyone has reasons to move to the UK or move to the states and only you can determine what is best for you.  I am married and it is no longer a single person decision as we make them all together.  I know if I asked DH to move to the states we would set goals and it would happen.  He would like to live in the states but honestly maybe we could just fly around when we retire and kids are grown.

Sarah Palin, Tea baggers, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Bill O'Rielly, Sean Hannitty, Cadillac Escalades, I-95, Proposition 8....

Sarah Palin, Tea baggers, Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Bill O'Rielly, Sean Hannitty, Cadillac Escalades, I-95, Proposition 8....

I am going to chant this the next time I get homesick...

I, for one, can say as a Philly girl, I will miss Wawa!  If you are a PA or Jersey person, then you know what I mean.  I love Wawa.  Their coffee, their Philly pretzels.  You can get anything from deli, to ice cream to candy to some of the best coffee ever.

I'll miss pizza and cheesesteaks and duck sauce and chinese noodles that they serve you before ordering.  When I lived in Devon last year and we did Chinese, I nearly fell over at the difference of appetizer noodles and wonton.  I was gutted.  lol

Oh, and coffee houses that are open from 6am to 11pm.  That I will miss.  City living ... and lots more sun.

But, I can leave the humidity, the massive blizzards (we got hit with 4 this year), the lack of respect for people's property (I park in the city), the mega stores, tons of traffic.

I'd rather have the moors, the green, the views and the absolute joy that I feel when living in Devon.  I never thought I'd find a place that felt like home like Philly.  I lived in NY for 6 years and pined for Philly.  Imagine my surprise when I first visited the UK and realized ... ahem, realised, that it felt right just like I had always thought it would but never knew.  Imagine my surprise when I lived there for 5 months and knew when I left that I would go back and it would be home.

I would always love to visit America.  I'm proud of my country in lots of ways.  But, I think to be honest upon reflection, that America is where I am from but England is my home.

America is where I am from but England is my home.

That is a beautiful way to put it.

When we finally make our move, I know that I will miss a few things and there will be many things I won't miss (such as the extreme weather/temperatures); however, the pros will far outway the cons in how I feel about England in general.  So, I have to agree with your sentiment, emily28...it's how I felt from the first day I ever visited England.

Kbeaumont, when are you heading over?  Do you know where yet?

Right now we are planning to make the move in June 2011 (not soon enough if you ask me, but we need to save and plan).  I'm going to take my KOL test so that I can submit it with my application since we've been married for 6 years in the US.

We're heading over in December for a visit with my BIL, then down to London to check out some areas we've looked at online (Kennington/Oval is looking promising, but we'll see...what we see online may be completely unreal in person).

You're heading to Devon, right?  I haven't been to that part of the country yet, but I hear it's beautiful.

Omg, I really don't know how I'm going to live without access to real bagels and NY pizza by the slice when I move over.  I really don't. 

If you are near a CostCo, their bagels are excellent! Better than any I've ever had over here. I love their everything bagels the most.

While there are some elements of the US I do like, the only reason I could see myself going back is to be closer to my sisters. We were all like best friends growing up and now it's hard to watch them have families and go through life without being able to share those things with them. Most other reasons for missing the US are purely capitalistic (later shopping hours!) However, there are plenty of reasons why I can't see myself going back:

1: Healthcare. When I moved to the UK, I had just finished my undergrad and was horribly concerned that I was going to be kicked off my parents' insurance. I have quite a few health issues, was going to doctors regularly in the states for testing (still inconclusive), was on some pretty expensive prescriptions (even with insurance) and was simply feeling like their guinea pig. Not having the stress of wondering if I have enough money each month to get help and knowing that I wouldn't be out a lot of money if the medicine did make me feel worse rather than better has been a huge relief.

2: Weather. Northeast Ohio is brutal in the winter, too hot in the summer but occasionally okay in the autumn and spring. The extremes were awful. I hate it when it gets too hot and I despise waking up each morning to another foot of snow on the ground (which I then have to shovel). I'm not saying NE Ohio never has nice weather - it does, but I prefer the mild and dreary weather of the UK. Plus it makes everything so green here!

3: Transport. I love not having to drive over here, and I also love knowing that if one transportation method fails me, I can generally figure out another way to get from A to B. Granted, I currently live in London so of course my transport options are incredible. But on my last trip to the US, I was reminded once again of how pathetic transport is even in large cities. I flew into Chicago and needed to get to Springfield, IL. I had a flight booked, but due to storms it was cancelled; they couldn't get me on a flight until the next day and wouldn't pay for a hotel. So I got a taxi to the train station in downtown Chicago and got the train to Springfield. (I accept in most cities I probably wouldn't have even had that option!) But the train was pathetic. Not only was it slow, but in parts of the route, there was only one set of rail for both the north and south-bound trains. Which meant that at one point, our train had to pull over onto another set of tracks and wait an hour for the other train to pass until we could continue on our way. 

4: American Politics. I can't stand them. I can't stand being in a country that clings to a constitution written over two hundred years ago and refuses to change. Some of the fundamentals might be okay, but the majority of things written for a 1787 society don't apply to society in 2010. While the constitution might have made the country start off on a good foot, I think it's completely hindering any progress. And the people who cling to it most seem to be the ones who pick and choose the parts of the document to support (how many flag-waving "patriotic" americans have you seen campaigning for the freedom of religion?). The whole clinging to the past and backwards-thinking simply irritates me.

One thing I will admit is that it was a lifelong dream to live in London. Now that I'm here I feel like I'd prefer a nice little village in the countryside (the BF is from a gorgeous area of Northern Ireland that I simply love). But that desire might also be because I'm hunting for a flat at the moment...