bit of advice with fatty comments

Okay... I get on with my steppies (step kids) really well but atm my step daughter who is 6 keeps pulling my shirt up and has made comments about my big belly. I can't help but be sensitive about it but even with my Husband telling her to stop and "its rude" she continues.

I don't want to be rude but it is so hurtful. Both (boy and girl) say things about being fat, fat people, eating too much.. they are rail thin but some reason have this hangup of weight and overweight people.

See I am overweight and am starting to get so worked up by his little girl. I am having trouble approaching the problem. Any advice?

This is normal behavior for kids her. At six, she is the center of her world and she Figuring out that others have feelings.    Look very serious. Get down on her eye level. In a stern voice,  Explain to her that it is rude to lift someone elses clothes up/rude to make those comments and it hurts your feelings. She needs to learn not to say things like that. There needs to be an immediate consistent consequence. Like time out for six mins then she has to apologize to you for being rude.

Six years old is a bit old to not understand what she's doing. I'd tell her to stop in no uncertain terms with some sort of consequence as IME suggested. If it continues, there may have to be a chat with your DH/her dad? Presumably she's in school. She can't go around speaking like that about other students!

Also not really on topic as she shouldn't be doing this regardless of if it's true...but I've met you and you have a lovely figure!

She isn't being mean about it but bless the girl she has a wee fire brewing that will pick ip with teenhood I am sure. Thanks for the suggestions hopefully it will stop, no one wants their shirt pulled up while walking down the highstreet

Sorry, but I don't agree with this as being normal behaviour for a six year old. My DD just turned six last month and she knew better at five to do something like that. I notice you said your step DD and I was just wondering if she is hearing that word being used by her mother perhaps or someone else she is close to?     Either way I do agree with getting to her eye level and sternly telling her it's not nice to pull up someone's shirt and say those words and can hurt a person's feelings. But make sure it's you that does this and not just Dad. Good luck.

I agree with Little Evo.  My niece is 5 and would not do something like this, nor would I dare let her.  I also think there are two issues here: pulling up the shirt and the fat comments.  She really needs to understand that she should not be invading someone's person like that (and she could get into a lot of trouble at school if she did) and separately needs to understand hurtful comments.

Don't really have any advice for how to deal with it but I agree with the others...6 is definitely old enough to know better.  When my daughter was around 4, she said something along the lines of "Old people are scary."  That was the last time she said something like that.

I have step kids and the youngest will be 8 end of the month and even the older one who will be 12 in Nov say things out of the blue...Wow she was fat as someone walked by and the older one is not really thin mind you...I said how would you feel if someone said that as you walked by? It hasn't happened since.

I have a younger brother who just turned 13 so I was around as he was born and growing up (obviously) and he was and is hell on wheels but I tell you my mom has this "stare" which means NO and she would get down to eye level and do the stare and tell him exactly how rude or wrong he was.

Sometimes as a stepmom you dont want to oversep the boundries BUT as an adult figure in their life I feel sometimes you need to hold your ground and be a "parent".

 

Sometimes as a stepmom you dont want to oversep the boundries BUT as an adult figure in their life I feel sometimes you need to hold your ground and be a "parent".

 

Do you know if she behaves that way around other people?

I think maybe she is testing you to see how far she can go with you. If weight wasn't an issue with you, she might have found something else.

When my daughter was around 4, she said something along the lines of "Old people are scary."  That was the last time she said something like that.

Well some old people are scary. 

When I was a kid there was an old lady living nearby who my sister and I called "The Old Lady Who Looks Like A Monkey". We were both scared of and fascinated by her. One day she walked by our house as we were setting out to the shops and we walked behind her. We couldn't help giggling nervously at the thought that she might turn around. She did! She smiled at us, asked us our names and gave us a coin each to buy some candy. After that she was our special friend.

Do you know if she behaves that way around other people?

I think maybe she is testing you to see how far she can go with you. If weight wasn't an issue with you, she might have found something else.

I think you are right, I am just self conscious so dont want to scold her on it. My step kids are very well behaved and sweet but my SD knows how to say hurtful things, she used to say things to my husband too.  I catch my SD saying things like "He thinks hes cool" if a guy it walking around with his shirt off.. etc. I mean 6 year olds don't just think up those things do they?