Reactions to us as a married couple

Not sure where to put this but I'm getting quite frusterated by the way people are being really rude when they find out that DH and I married quite young. I was 19 and DH was 22. However we were together (LDR+visits) since we were teens (me=14,him=17) and lived together for a year before getting married. We get really rude questions asking if we got married because I was pregnant and someone at uni asked me if I regretted it. How do I respond to these awful questions? I'm sick of people looking at me (I look like a teenager honestly) and then my wedding ring, and being so nosey. I don't want to be rude to people but I also hate their questions. Am I the only one who's experienced this?

I don't know what to tell you except I sympathize! :-(

Ed and I were both 21 when we got married, and while my parents didn't bat an eye (my mom got married when she was 20), Ed's parents were...less than excited about it. We had been in a LDR for almost 4 years when we got married, and here we are...married for almost 5 years now (quite happily too). His family actually boycotted our wedding, which was quite hurtful (his mom came at the last minute, she was the only one) but once we actually went through with it, they seemed to totally accept it and have been nothing but supportive since.

I get a lot of bad reactions when people ask how long I've been married or how old I was when I got married...lots of "OMG you're too young! you're just babies!" etc. And although its quite obvious that I wasn't pregnant (no babies running around!) I did get asked that a lot at the time as well.

Sigh.

You just have to ignore it and let time prove everyone wrong. Marriage doesn't work out for everyone, whether they are married young or at a more mature age and I just have to tell people that I did what made me and my other half happy - we knew exactly what we wanted and went for it.

Ed told me at the time, "Well...I can make my mom happy or I can make US happy."

You can guess what he chose!

I've been with my husband since we were 19 and we're happy as can be in now that we're in our 30s. Two of my friends from high school started dating when they were 15 and I can't think of many happier, more stable couples. They get crazy comments, but they know what their relationship is and just let it roll off their backs.

Just say "We're happy together" and move on with the conversation. No one's opinion matters except yours.

I don't know you, but from your avatar you look very young and I think you could definitely pass for younger than 19!    Perhaps people think you're much younger than that? It doesn't excuse bad manners, but it might explain their comments a bit.

I'm very sorry that people are saying such insensitive things. It's really rude of them!

I think I might just say something like 'That's kinda personal, isn't it? I'm just happy living my life.' and laugh it off and move on to another topic.

I think you just need to think of a stock reply that you feel comfortable saying for insensitive questions that you repeat like a broken record, so people get the message to be quiet......

No one's opinion matters except yours.

This.

The best reaction, IMO, to rude questions is to say "why would you ask such a horrible thing."   

I'm sorry, people always have to have an opinion don't they! My first marriage was when I was 18, had my son at 19, and I was divorced by 21... I did a lot of living in a few short years.  I think people might not mean it to come out so bad, sometimes they might have had an experience like I did and don't want to see that happen to someone else.  However- I know plenty of people who married quite young and have a great long life together.  They are the lucky few that found the person of their dreams early in life and therefore get to spend more of it with them.  I think if I met my current fiancé back when I was 18, I'd probably marry him young too! Shows what I've learned huh? just enjoy your life! No need to worry about what strangers think!

Gibbygab...yes I agree with the others this is rude but it is all how you react.

I would just say we got married because we are in love why else? 

It goes both ways I have seen people say wow you waited so long to get married why? My aunt and uncle dated 18 years before they got married and people always had something to say.  People can also say why haven't you got married when you have dated so long.

It can be bothersome if you let it - don't....It's your life ;-)

Frankly, it's none of their beeswax! 

I would reply with something that made them feel as uncomfortable about asking the question as you feel being asked it, like what Sara Smile suggested.

And as someone who often gets mistaken for looking like a teenager, you have my sympathies.  I know how much it skews people's assessment of you when they perceive you to be younger than you are.  And while all of my friends and family members say to take it as a compliment when people think you look young, it's tough when the result is you not being taken seriously or viewed as an adult.

Wait till you are over 40 and people ask you why you don't have children or if you are planning to have children

I get this too and we're 25. A few people have said things about how we aren't going to last a year (though we already did) or that we are just doing it for visas. I think it just depends on the person and it is always THEIR issue and feelings towards marriage. You don't need to explain your relationship to someone and they don't have the right to demand it.

I think I might just say something like 'That's kinda personal, isn't it? I'm just happy living my life.' and laugh it off and move on to another topic.

This is good!

I would reply with something that made them feel as uncomfortable about asking the question as you feel being asked it, like what Sara Smile suggested.

My DH had been interrogated by a guy and his girlfriend, and the guy was saying that there was no way it would work out because we hadn't spent that long together in the same country. My DH turned it around and said "I knew I wanted to marry her when we met, and when you really love someone you don't want to wait" knowing full well the couple had been together for 6 years and the girlfriend just sort of glared at her boyfriend and stormed off. Its not a nice thing to do, but at least he'll think twice about poking his head into other people's business now!

All this has happened while in the UK. In the town I grew up in, I was one of the very few people from my HS class that wasn't married with kids by 21 and at my 5 year HS reunion everyone asked why I wasn't married yet, so it works both ways!

I got married at 29, and people have said things like "Ooh, you just got in under the wire, didn't you?" Like 30 is a magical cutoff point or something.  People are rude no matter what your circumstances.

Wait till you are over 40 and people ask you why you don't have children or if you are planning to have children

So true. Or in my family - once you've been married 1 month. Or once you have one, when are you going to have another? I learned a long time ago that if I don't know someone super, super well I don't ever bring up their relationship or sex life (pregnancy) unless they bring it up first. Sometimes people are well meaning, but usually they're just nosy.

Ehh people suck.  If its not one thing they'll ask you about, its another.  Sometimes they just think they're making conversation.  Other times they're just nosy, or know a similar situation, or want to give you "advice" or whatever.   Regardless, people by nature are inquisitive- know-it -alls- and they will never cease to ask questions. 
I've found it best to come up wth a good come back and change the subject quickly. 

Yay I'm glad you guys are with me on this!

Oh no Chary, I look younger than 19?  I'm 21 in two months lol.

Yeah you are all right, I shouldn't feel bad about their stupid nosey questions. I'll think of a really awesome come back to say  .

Sweetpeach, I'll experience the same since I don't want any children. I've had to take care of my younger sister when I was a teen and that experience has put me off ever wanting any. They are so hard to take care of!!