Alabama Girl overwhelmed in Kingston

Hello all! I moved here 3 weeks ago on a fiancé visa.  We're getting married in January, so for now I'm just a glorified tourist that is stuck in the house all day while my fiancé works crazy hours to support us until I can work.

My biggest problem is my anxiety about new people/things (so, yeah, why did I think this would be a good idea?).  I'm so worried about offending someone by saying the wrong them when I'm ordering food, or giving change, or whatever.  I'm scared to take the bus, I've already lost my passport once (and LUCKILY someone found it), and I feel like every time I try to cook or clean I mess things up and make them worse.  

But anyway, hi and I am just looking for a little support from people who understand, because as much as I adore my fiancé he has no idea how difficult this has been for me.  

Ah Hello!
   I know what your going through, but trust me, nobody is going to be offended by something you say or do.. ( I say that, but unless someone has already told you this, fanny does NOT mean your butt, and giving a peace sign can sometimes be misconstrued as flipping someone off) Those are the only things I had to be corrected on that could have gotten me into trouble.  But Welcome! I'm sure you'll find that the people here are lovely and welcoming.  People usually will poke fun at my accent but in a loving way, and I've never been hated just because I'm from the states. 
   The forums here are a great way to gain knowledge in others experiences, and just vent sometimes if you feel the need! Congrats on the wedding! Hope you like it here in the UK

I wouldn't talk to anyone for the first couple of weeks in the UK because I was sure everyone would hate me for being American but if anyone has they didn't let on and most people have been willing to meet me halfway on figuring out the differences in languages.

I don't think there's any reason why you have to carry your passport with you. The UK isn't as ID-centric as the US - you don't even have to keep your driving license on you when driving! If you get a ticket you have a couple of weeks to produce your license.

Do you have any hobbies? Maybe we can help you find a local book club or knitting group or something where you can get out of the house and maybe make some friends.  I know the anxiety thing really makes it harder   I'm a really shy extrovert so I need to socialize but I'm terrified about meeting new people and I hate having to talk on the phone or figure out a new system of public transit so I really feel you on that one but going out and doing things is the only way you'll find a place 

Good luck with everything and best wishes for your wedding

Im from AL too and just got done with 6 months on the fiance visa. I know exactly where you are coming from! I got my FLR(M) a couple of weeks ago but still not working but at least there is an end in sight. Good luck!

Welcome to UKY.

Lock your passport away somewhere safe. Don't carry it around with you...you don't need it for anything anyway. 

One thing I've heard over and over is to go out and volunteer somewhere. I think in your case you're not legally allowed to do so on a fiancee visa, but I do think a hobby club/meeting would do nicely as an option. Basically the only way to integrate is to get out there. It's guaranteed that you'll still end up in some uncomfortable situations, but you'll also gain loads of experience and find that mostly people in the UK are the same as people in the US and allow you to connect to them.

One thing I've heard over and over is to go out and volunteer somewhere. I think in your case you're not legally allowed to do so on a fiancee visa,

You're right...Really bad idea on a fiance(e) visa or as a visitor...100% NOT ALLOWED, sure fire way to have FLR(M) refused.

You can take a look at the website www.meetup.com.  It has all kinds of clubs you can join for whatever your interest is (hiking, running, book club, cooking, social meetups, etc.)  And it shows where the closest ones are around you, just type in your city/post code.
Welcome, and good luck!

Hey CG,

I'm originally from Mobile, AL, and have been living in southern England now for over 8 years.

Don't worry about stepping on toes. You're acclimatising and your surroundings will feel more familiar if you get out and explore. The locals are probably going to be more understanding than you can imagine.

Although I haven't taken the bus in a while, you should be able to buy an 'all day bus pass' for about £5. Why not do that and use the ticket and spend a day hopping on and off the bus(es)? It'll help you get out a little and should eliminate your fear of public transport (unless you're stuck sitting next to someone who smells funny).

Anyway, welcome!

Hi ya,

Where in Ala are you from?  I was raised/grew up in Mobile and my mom/sis/bro still live there.  I lived in Metro Atlanta for many many years before moving to UK (Plymouth) with my british hubby.  We moved here in Feb 2010, so I am still new and find that I am bored most days, as I stay home and have nothing to do.

I did sign up on Meet Up, but no luck on meet ups of any kind for Plymouth area.  I have met couple other Americans ladies locally, but everyone is busy with their own lives/family/routines/kids/jobs/etc.

Hang in there though, you will meet folks.  We have met several folks in our neighborhood via their dogs, as we have 2 dogs we brought with us.  Nice days I am out walking the dogs and always find folks to chat to.

I know it will get better in time for all us newbies over here.

Hello, I am in Richmond and I'd be happy to help you get settled in.  Maybe we can meet some time next week, just PM me.

In the meantime, I have a notice I clipped out of the newspaper that says there are £3 walking tours of Kingston in the summer.  The last one is this Sunday at 2:30pm, meet at the church gates in the Ancient Market Place (I hope you've at least figured out how to go there).  The article has no contact details, just show up and hope it hasn't been cancelled I guess.  

Once you do feel confident with the bus, I highly recommend route 65, which has the worst drivers but the prettiest scenery ever, passing through Ham and Petersham to Richmond town center and from there on to Kew Gardens (and Ealing, but no need to go that far).  I can escort you the first time, if you feel nervous, and give you guided commentary on the way (ha ha).

If you do feel confident coming over to Richmond by train or bus on your own (or you can get the fiance to come) you could also consider taking a free walking tour of Richmond riverside this Sunday at 1pm.  I did this tour last spring and it was excellent.  I think the same guy is doing it again.  We went around Richmond Green and the riverfront, then up Richmond Hill, had a 20 minute pub break, then continued through Petersham past the polo ground and ended up at Ham House.  The first time you go to these places, it's helpful to have a guide to show you the way, and after that you'll know how to do it yourself.  It looks like the route will be a bit different this time, heading over to Twickenham instead of Ham, but equally scenic.  http://www.walklondon.org.uk/our_events_forthcoming_detail.asp?ID=232

By the way, Walk London is offering lots of free tours this weekend ("Autumn Ambles"), all over the city.  I recommend this to anyone in London!  I'll definitely be going, I just have to choose which ones...

It takes some time to get the lay of the land, but don't worry, you'll figure it all out soon enough, and it won't be long before this confusion is a distant memory.

Welcome to UKY!  So many Mobile girls here I didn't know about, I worked for Mobile Ballet for several years and also with Mobile Opera, and although I'm from California- I love me some Alabama!  I've only been here for a bit over a week as a resident (Student Visa) and I have been really overwhelmed much of the time.  I'm lucky to have been able to meet a few lovely UK-Yers and they have been such a delight and help during this transition.  Everyone says be kind to yourself, and that has been the best advice I've received.  Everyone is different and everyone adapts differently, I hope you can find the best way for you to live here.  Don't be too hard on you!

Hey CG,

I'm originally from Mobile, AL, and have been living in southern Englandnow for over 8 years.

Don't worry about stepping on toes. You're acclimatising and your surroundings will feel more familiar if you get out and explore. The locals are probably going to be more understanding than you can imagine.

Although I haven't taken the bus in a while, you should be able to buy an 'all day bus pass' for about £5. Why not do that and use the ticket and spend a day hopping on and off the bus(es)? It'll help you get out a little and should eliminate your fear of public transport (unless you're stuck sitting next to someone who smells funny).

Anyway, welcome!

WOW O WOW,  I am also orginially from Mobile Al.  and now living in Southern (SW) England (Plymouth).  I grew up in Mobile and my immediate family members still live there.  I moved to Metro Atlanta MANY years ago, so I moved from Atlanta to Plymouth.

WOW YEA MOBILE GALS.  (I am new to UK, been here about 7 months now or little more)

Wow so many people from Mobile! Im from the other end, Huntsville

Wow so many people from Mobile! Im from the other end, Huntsville

Outsider!

Been to Huntsville once on a school trip to the space center, 20 years ago. Bought some freeze dried Nasa-approved neopolitan icecream that sort of tasted like powdery flavoured vanilla styrofoam.