Inconvenient Annoyances

Hopefully it is just an oversight on her part, addressing it to only him. Hubby only has a brother, but his wife is quite standoffish. She is polite but distant toward both of us. She likes us, I am sure, but she just a bit self centered and her closest friends are usually more important than her husbands family. Except MIL, of course, and that is because she is a willing babysitter at any time. 

Mine: Ghost pepper juice on my face. I was a sneak attack a few days after the fact. the pepper was cut Saturday, so hubby must have touched something around the house with juice on his hand, then I touched whatever it was. For a few hours, I walked around whining, "It burns us!" He has a Butch Trinidad Scorpion in the fridge, and I have told him he is wearing gloves that will go straight into the bin, and his knife and cutting board will be washed thoroughly, immediately. I don't want a surprise attack from that bad boy!

Ok.... so turns out the card was  significant, but I can't be mad because it rightly had absolutely nothing to do with me.   

DH's family is Indian (DH, SIL and FIL born in the UK but Grand-FIL born in India) so it was a card celebrating Rakhi, a festival where sisters give their brothers bracelets symbolising their love for them and brothers give their sisters money showing they're going to support and protect them.

Judging by the bulk of the card (there was a bracelet in it) and the colourful envelope, I was a bit annoyed until he opened it and we found out what it was.     Whoopsie.     Turns out there's no reason to be upset.   

Hooray for there being no reason to be upset! Still, I can understand why you would be, with his family being your only family in the country.

New people have moved in three doors down and their big black and white cat has been snooping around our back garden, sitting in Dylan's favourite places, and even peered in through the cat flap! 

I hope the fur isn't going to fly and I hope he gets bored with our garden because I don't want Dylan to be too intimidated to come around any more.

Not sure how you would go about it, but if it does come to that, they will have to do something about it. Dylan loved you first, and should be able to sit in his fave spots. Hopefully it won't come to that, and the other cat will find another place to get attached to.

Not sure how you would go about it, but if it does come to that, they will have to do something about it. Dylan loved you first, and should be able to sit in his fave spots. Hopefully it won't come to that, and the other cat will find another place to get attached to.

I hope so!  I'm not an expert on cat psychology, but he must be able to smell Dylan in all his favourite places, so it seems a bit aggressive behaviour.  To be continued....

Our cat is wandering around meowing and she won't settle. Normally, she just sleeps all day. DH said she started at 3am this morning kind of talking to herself, but then she really ramps it up around 5am. She's been known to do this in the mornings, but the fact that it's going on all day (and she started so early) is worrying. She's also not interested in her morning milk or treats. She did eat some cheese. She's old (17 years old), so I'm fairly certain I know what all of this means, I'm just not certain how to handle it. Is she in pain? If so, I know what to do, but I can't tell. I think I'll watch her eating habits over the next day or so and see what happens. 

Our cat is wandering around meowing and she won't settle. Normally, she just sleeps all day. DH said she started at 3am this morning kind of talking to herself, but then she really ramps it up around 5am. She's been known to do this in the mornings, but the fact that it's going on all day (and she started so early) is worrying. She's also not interested in her morning milk or treats. She did eat some cheese. She's old (17 years old), so I'm fairly certain I know what all of this means, I'm just not certain how to handle it. Is she in pain? If so, I know what to do, but I can't tell. I think I'll watch her eating habits over the next day or so and see what happens. 

  Heart breaking for you if this is the case.  Give her lots of love and like you said monitor her eating for the next couple days.  If she still isn't eating take her to the Vet.  (((((HUGS)))))

I think sometimes oldish cats do keep meowing for no apparent reason -- almost like they can't hear themselves.  Do check it out.

Jet lag......  

My IA? With the stress from the last two years I am now having anxiety leaving the bedroom or going outside, I also have anxiety when around people even people I like or am comfortable around.  My speech/vocabulary is also being effected due to the limited time I talk a day (10 minutes whispering back and forth to DH in the house) This is really causing a lot of problems as it is now impossible for me to leave the house even for a short time to get away from the stress.  I read that couselling on the NHS is only like 6 sessions or takes months to get an appointment. I found a place a distance away that has cousellor volunteers (not sure if this is good or bad) on a sliding scale. 5-30 pounds for an hour. How is the price determined? And if the price is lowered due to my joblessness etc, is that government assistance? As in will that cause problems for my ILR visa down the road? 

Oh StealthG, I hope you can get some counselling help -

 Is there some reason really keeping you with your FIL?  (If your husband doesn't want to move for some reason, this would be alarming to me, since your mental health is really suffering!!!)
Is there really nowhere else you can move to - i.e. houseshare, roomshares, etc?  Living with roomates seems so much nicer than crazy FILs.....
Can you talk to your local citizens advice about housing options in your area?   Have you and your husband explored all options?   I think you really need to think about these things!!!

I agree, StealthG, can you talk to your husband about getting helping with housing and mental health? I would also talk to you GP to determine mental health options.

CAB Housing Advice Guide:
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/housing_e.htm

Accredited counsellors in the UK
http://www.bacp.co.uk/accreditation/Accredited%20SERVICES/index.php
You can search (Control+F) 'sliding scale'.

These are health services and as such, I do not think they would have any impact on visas.

Take care.

StealthG, I really hope you are able to find help soon. I've experienced extreme anxiety on and off the past few years, so truly know what it's like to have days where you can't bring yourself to leave the house. I went through the NHS for most of my therapy. I am not sure if there are actual time limits if they deem you still need help - I had to stop due to moving. I don't think they will push you away after 6 sessions if you feel you still need more.

I've copy and pasted here some information a counsellor provided me. You can get cheaper rates if you are willing to sign up to work with someone who is in training. I hope some of this will be of use to you:

There are two general web sites where you can browse for registered counsellors or therapists by geographical location and by theoretical training and methodology. They are:

www.counselling.co.uk <http://www.counselling.co.uk/>. This is the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and most people abide by their Code of Ethics and Good Practice.

www.psychotherapy.org.uk <http://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/> – a reputable site also with a directory of practitioners.

Other web sites that give reputable information about the difference between types of therapy are:- Young Minds - www.youngminds.org.uk <http://www.youngminds.org.uk/> and the Royal College of Psychiatrists - www.rcpsych.ac.uk <http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/>

StealthG, I truly hope you get help soon, this is not a healthy way to live! I agree with phatbeetle, she has some really good advice 
Hopefully you and DH will be able to find a way to move into a place of your own.