Inconvenient Annoyances

Update: I bought the boots cushion mentioned above.  Thank you for the suggestion!  For general hilarity, I thought I'd let you all know that the woman at Boots was like 'is it normally for PILES' when I asked for help finding it, whispering piles, and now my husband won't stop repeating 'bum pillow' all the time.

The comic scene in my head is following up the line 'it is normally for PILES' with 'piles of what?'

Update: I bought the boots cushion mentioned above.  Thank you for the suggestion!  For general hilarity, I thought I'd let you all know that the woman at Boots was like 'is it normally for PILES' when I asked for help finding it, whispering piles, and now my husband won't stop repeating 'bum pillow' all the time.

Have a baby or two and hemorrhoids become a common topic of discussion with your mommy friends.   

Have a baby or two and hemorrhoids become a common topic of discussion with your mommy friends.   

You're selling it to be strong, KF hahah

You're selling it to be strong, KF hahah

There is a LOT people don't tell you about the changes to your body during and after pregnancy.  A LOT!

There is a LOT people don't tell you about the changes to your body during and after pregnancy.  A LOT!

Oh yeah, for sure! and I actually appreciate the honesty! I HATE when people sugar coat it! I don't think it's setting a fair expectation so appreciate you saying. I was just kidding

Oh yeah, for sure! and I actually appreciate the honesty! I HATE when people sugar coat it! I don't think it's setting a fair expectation so appreciate you saying. I was just kidding

LOL!  I know you were.  I remember a conversation we had in our birth class.  I left telling my husband "THAT'S the stuff they should tell you in sex ed in school!"

LOL!  I know you were.  I remember a conversation we had in our birth class.  I left telling my husband "THAT'S the stuff they should tell you in sex ed in school!"

Literally hate it when people are like "it's so beautiful and you don't even think about all the negative stuff so don't worry about it!" I'm like....buuuuuut I *am* going to worry about it... I'm almost more so put off because you don't want to tell me all the negatives I will *forget* about! I mean I'm not trying to say everybody here with kids didn't find the miracle of their child's birth beautiful or anything like that, I just can't stand when they tell me it's all sunshine and roses and "don't worry, you get drugs for the pain!" and all that jazz. I don't like medical needles, so the idea of that alone gives me anxiety lol

My SIL said to me the other day when questioning when we'd have kids that "well it obviously wasn't that bad because I did it twice!" and I said, I watch enough true crime/cult docs to know that the brain does it's job of blocking out very traumatic events  so saying 'you don't remember anyways' isn't selling it for me."

Literally hate it when people are like "it's so beautiful and you don't even think about all the negative stuff so don't worry about it!" I'm like....buuuuuut I *am* going to worry about it... I'm almost more so put off because you don't want to tell me all the negatives I will *forget* about! I mean I'm not trying to say everybody here with kids didn't find the miracle of their child's birth beautiful or anything like that, I just can't stand when they tell me it's all sunshine and roses and "don't worry, you get drugs for the pain!" and all that jazz. I don't like medical needles, so the idea of that alone gives me anxiety lol

My SIL said to me the other day when questioning when we'd have kids that "well it obviously wasn't that bad because I did it twice!" and I said, I watch enough true crime/cult docs to know that the brain does it's job of blocking out very traumatic events  so saying 'you don't remember anyways' isn't selling it for me."

Well, I was never successful in getting drugs.  AND I LOVE DRUGS.  I wanted ALL the drugs.  But I did childbirth with nothing.  Makes NO sense.   

But you are correct.  The hormones that make you bat sh*t crazy while you are pregnant also make you forget all the crap that happens during labor.  So while my husband was scarred for life, I'm cool with it.   

Well, I was never successful in getting drugs.  AND I LOVE DRUGS.  I wanted ALL the drugs.  But I did childbirth with nothing.  Makes NO sense.   

But you are correct.  The hormones that make you bat sh*t crazy while you are pregnant also make you forget all the crap that happens during labor.  So while my husband was scarred for life, I'm cool with it.   

hahaha and this post right here is why I love you

We don't have kids (yet) but so far the most stressful and painful thing about our future kids is when grand-FIL asks when we're going to have them.

Lucky for me, he only asks DH and he asks in a language I don't speak and usually when I'm not in the room. DH has to deal with it in person, but he can be more abrupt with grand-FIL in his answer and I can eye roll freely when DH tells me later in private.

At least my mom only casually mentions it in passing ('oh, TF, you're so good with your nephew - you'll make a great mom one day').

It might be a bit cringey next week - my parents are over for a visit and I've put on a few pounds since we last saw them. I promise: It's cake and butter (and stress from living with FIL and grand-FIL) - not a baby. I've been busy in the kitchen, not the bedroom. Plus, it was a long winter and I acquired some extra insulation.

haha surprisingly, my parents aren't bad at all. It's my SIL and her daughters. They are constantly like CAN YOU JUST HURRY UP SO WE CAN ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN!? I'm like uhhhmmm....

I feel for anyone who gets those questions.  Thankfully neither my parents or my inlaws were like that (either first or second marriage).

My mom assumed I'd be a spinster my entire life. Getting married was a surprise It's frustrating that I can't have kids, some people with EDS do it without too many complications or decide the lifetime of pain following it is worth it. But I don't want to share any of these genes with my kids. Especially not here. Hopefully life settles down and we can adopt, but that's a few years away!

Literally hate it when people are like "it's so beautiful and you don't even think about all the negative stuff so don't worry about it!" I'm like....buuuuuut I *am* going to worry about it... I'm almost more so put off because you don't want to tell me all the negatives I will *forget* about!

I watch enough true crime/cult docs to know that the brain does it's job of blocking out very traumatic events  so saying 'you don't remember anyways' isn't selling it for me."

When I was at my pre-op consultation to remove the brain tumor, I learned they would bring me conscious in the middle of it (head still open, etc ) to do some checks to make sure they didn't break anything in there.  The surgeon said most people don't remember it after, but...

So, like, they were honest going in, and I literally don't remember anything after the anesthetisiologist said "count backwards from 100 by 7s" until I woke in post-op ICU.  People should do the same with everything.  You should have full disclosure so you can make an informed decision.

I feel for anyone who gets those questions.  Thankfully neither my parents or my inlaws were like that (either first or second marriage).

My in-laws asked if (not when) we planned to, just one time right after we got married.  But my SIL wasn't able to due to medication to treat a chronic health condition, already, so when we said we weren't having kids, they already knew to be respectful and leave it alone.  We've been very lucky.

You guys!  So much fun was had in this forum over the weekend... didn't you guys have a sun god to worship, too?  We had an amazing day on Saturday!  We cleared so much old rotting trellis and other debris, I removed masses of ivy, weeded a raised bed, and cleared fallen branches and dried leaves.

And we separated the line from the old oil tank to the boiler that never worked and hopefully drained the radiators, so we can start thinking about removing those (yay!).

Then we grilled some noms (broccoli, tomatoes, pineapple, bell pepper, and chicken) and drank surprisingly nice sparkling wine to celebrate making a start on House.

Then when it got dark enough to enjoy it, we burned all the dried stuff cleared from the garden.  It was such a beautiful day/night.

My mom went on an insane health kick when I got married because 'the next big change will be grandchildren' but at least I WANT kids and she doesn't ask when.

You didn't get any drugs KF?  I've informed my husband that I want ALL the drugs and that he WILL get them for me no matter how hard he has to push.  It's the price of me giving birth to his (presumably) big headed babies.