Inconvenient Annoyances

Back now, all was okay except for 4 really painful shots with a SUPER long needle DEEP into her toe. 

Bedrest for one day, no trapezing over the weekend.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, that poor dear!

I didn't think haribo was allowed to use dye in the EU?

I only looked at online images of the ingredients on the packet, I was probably looking at a non EU version if that's the case! 
I'm going to be forced to dig out a packet now, in the name of research! 

Some of you know my step daughter’s mom passed away from cancer. We raise her full time but let her maternal side of the family stay involved. Her Nan (maternal) is like the worst meddling mother in law and she’s not even related. She’s driving me crazy but how can I tell her to back off? Like she wants to be involved in all aspects of Lilly’s life, see her almost every day ( I was letting g her do afternoon school runs but she’s become so clingy Im cutting back) and if she doesn’t she blows my phone up.

Recently she’s making remarks due to length of daughters hair. I’m growing it out so when she’s in my brothers wedding we can actually style it. Mind you it’s a few inches past her shoulders nothing tatty.

I told daughter no to new school shorts, she’s not supposed to wear them and I don’t want to spend anymore in uniform she’s got new skirts she hasn’t even worn. What does nanny do.. bloody buys her shorts.

I tell her she can’t stay the night because I want to take her football shopping. What does she do.. tells my daughter she can stay the next night without even consulting us and then if we say no we look like the bad guy to daughter.

How can I have a darn meddling mother in law who’s not even mine??? Arghhhhhh lol the worst thing my real MIL has done is put one of those toilet refresher things on in our downstairs bathroom without asking me.


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Some of you know my step daughter’s mom passed away from cancer. We raise her full time but let her maternal side of the family stay involved. Her Nan (maternal) is like the worst meddling mother in law and she’s not even related. She’s driving me crazy but how can I tell her to back off? Like she wants to be involved in all aspects of Lilly’s life, see her almost every day ( I was letting g her do afternoon school runs but she’s become so clingy Im cutting back) and if she doesn’t she blows my phone up.

Recently she’s making remarks due to length of daughters hair. I’m growing it out so when she’s in my brothers wedding we can actually style it. Mind you it’s a few inches past her shoulders nothing tatty.

I told daughter no to new school shorts, she’s not supposed to wear them and I don’t want to spend anymore in uniform she’s got new skirts she hasn’t even worn. What does nanny do.. bloody buys her shorts.

I tell her she can’t stay the night because I want to take her football shopping. What does she do.. tells my daughter she can stay the next night without even consulting us and then if we say no we look like the bad guy to daughter.

How can I have a darn meddling mother in law who’s not even mine??? Arghhhhhh lol the worst thing my real MIL has done is put one of those toilet refresher things on in our downstairs bathroom without asking me.


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I would say your partner probably needs to sit down with her and set some ground rules. It's important she stay in their lives and she is still likely grieving, so your stepdaughter keeps her connected to her own child and gives her a purpose. But she needs to understand that you are the parents and she can't overrule your decisions without consulting you. (ie - buying things that she isn't allowed to wear) It's unfair to you and your stepdaughter. That's a delicate situation but i hope you find a way to help her back off a bit!

and if she doesn’t she blows my phone up.

Block it.

Some of you know my step daughter’s mom passed away from cancer. We raise her full time but let her maternal side of the family stay involved. Her Nan (maternal) is like the worst meddling mother in law and she’s not even related. She’s driving me crazy but how can I tell her to back off? Like she wants to be involved in all aspects of Lilly’s life, see her almost every day ( I was letting g her do afternoon school runs but she’s become so clingy Im cutting back) and if she doesn’t she blows my phone up.

Recently she’s making remarks due to length of daughters hair. I’m growing it out so when she’s in my brothers wedding we can actually style it. Mind you it’s a few inches past her shoulders nothing tatty.

I told daughter no to new school shorts, she’s not supposed to wear them and I don’t want to spend anymore in uniform she’s got new skirts she hasn’t even worn. What does nanny do.. bloody buys her shorts.

I tell her she can’t stay the night because I want to take her football shopping. What does she do.. tells my daughter she can stay the next night without even consulting us and then if we say no we look like the bad guy to daughter.

How can I have a darn meddling mother in law who’s not even mine??? Arghhhhhh lol the worst thing my real MIL has done is put one of those toilet refresher things on in our downstairs bathroom without asking me.


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This is something 100% that your partner needs to resolve. I can imagine it's definitely beyond stressful and she seems to be blatantly disrespecting the rules you've set in place. if she's only more recently become clingy, do you know if there is maybe an anniversary or something that's coming up? Like the anniversary of her daughter's death or when she was diagnosed or her birthday? Asking as I can imagine she's becoming clingier and wanting to be in your daughter's life as much as possible as she's wanting to continue to keep her daughter "alive" in her life in any way she can. If your daughter maybe looks like how her daughter looked at that age, that might be why she's overstepping all these boundaries and I feel for her....but just because the rationale behind why she's doing it may make sense, it doesn't mean that it's acceptable for her to keep doing it. I would say that your partner needs to advise her that she's been overstepping some boundaries a lot lately and that you both appreciate it if she could respect the rules you put in place while making sure she is actually checking with you before making commitments to your child as well as respecting your ways of parenting (I.E. letting her hair grow out). For your own sanity, I would just try to pick your battles with her. I would be more inclined to let the shorts go (if she wants to spend money on an item of clothing your daughter isn't allowed to wear, more fool her for giving in to your daughter's request! lol) to ensure that you can focus more efforts on getting her to follow the more important rules. It's just a tough situation and it doesn't need to get nasty by any means, but it's also not one I think but not one that you need to roll over and just take lying down as that's not fair on you. Sending hugs!

Honestly, I would approach this exactly as it is.  She is your daughter's grandmother and she's overstepping boundaries.

I agree with XoD that maybe there is a trigger date happening?

But yeah, it should be your husband's responsibility as it's kind of "his" mom, if you know what I mean.  She can't overrule what you guys are saying/doing as parents.  That's not on.

And don't forget that this is probably pretty worrying for your stepdaughter as well.  She might be worried that all the adults in her life could fight and she could lose another person she loves (her grandmother).  She might need reassurance.

But yeah, it should be your husband's responsibility as it's kind of "his" mom, if you know what I mean.  She can't overrule what you guys are saying/doing as parents.  That's not on.

completely agree with this and I think it's so important to be a united front..but I do think he needs to be that one for delivering that united message about respect and boundaries because, as KF said, she's more his sort of mom so she will probably respond better if it comes from him.

Anyone know where I can find gummy bears with regular old gelatin and sugar and no artificial flavors over here? I tried Google/amazon without much luck. May have to get molds and make my own or deal with the sorta similar fruit gums.

Do any of these work for you?
Natural Confectionery Company
Biona Organics
Goody Good Stuff



Aww, Eh127929 that's sounding like an awful situation.  Your partner definitely needs to chat with Nanny. Uggh, boundary issues.  I do agree with others that there may be triggers and emotions involved.

Do any of these work for you?
Natural Confectionery Company
Biona Organics
Goody Good Stuff



Aww, Eh127929 that's sounding like an awful situation.  Your partner definitely needs to chat with Nanny. Uggh, boundary issues.  I do agree with others that there may be triggers and emotions involved.

Ooh, natural confectionery company actually uses gelatin instead of vegan gums. Will check it out! Thanks

UGH just having a grumpy morning really.....and I have to work with another PC on this project who is like a ticking f**king time bomb and takes EVERYTHING personally. When I was a bit stressed (understatement) speaking to her today, she asked what was wrong as I seemed to have "lost my mojo today" because I wasn't in a cheery, positive mood. I was like "yeah i'm just a bit overloaded at the moment". She gets really defensive if you treat her with anything less than a sparkling attitude and she also is the type who never responds (even when showing green) in less time than 30 mins and when she does she automatically calls you without warning. There's a whole saga building with this one but I just IM'd her to say "frustration wasn't meant to be directed towards you by the way Sorry if it came across that way" and her response was "how was the pub?" (as I went to the pub with the guys yesterday before going home). Would have probably been a bit less stressed if she responded with "don't worry about it" or something...but now I just have to continue worrying if she's now going to kick off.

Block it.

That's not like you sonofasailor.

Some of you know my step daughter’s mom passed away from cancer. We raise her full time but let her maternal side of the family stay involved. Her Nan (maternal) is like the worst meddling mother in law and she’s not even related. She’s driving me crazy but how can I tell her to back off? Like she wants to be involved in all aspects of Lilly’s life, see her almost every day ( I was letting g her do afternoon school runs but she’s become so clingy Im cutting back) and if she doesn’t she blows my phone up.

Recently she’s making remarks due to length of daughters hair. I’m growing it out so when she’s in my brothers wedding we can actually style it. Mind you it’s a few inches past her shoulders nothing tatty.

I told daughter no to new school shorts, she’s not supposed to wear them and I don’t want to spend anymore in uniform she’s got new skirts she hasn’t even worn. What does nanny do.. bloody buys her shorts.

I tell her she can’t stay the night because I want to take her football shopping. What does she do.. tells my daughter she can stay the next night without even consulting us and then if we say no we look like the bad guy to daughter.

How can I have a darn meddling mother in law who’s not even mine??? Arghhhhhh lol the worst thing my real MIL has done is put one of those toilet refresher things on in our downstairs bathroom without asking me.


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I completely see where you are coming from with this.  However you approach it, try to be gentle (but firm) She will be terrified of loosing your little girl too.

That's not like you sonofasailor.

This person is making Eh's life a misery.