Inconvenient Annoyances

HR came out to my car and I told them I did not feel supported at all and that I wanted to go home for the rest of the day. I made it clear that the treatment is appalling that they refuse to do anything to change behaviour until the occupational health assessment is done and that their department is part of the issue. So at least I can go cry in the privacy of home.

Was going to suggest seeing if you could just go home for the day as that might be best as you aren't going to be able to work efficiently in that office anyways. What did the HR people say??

Was going to suggest seeing if you could just go home for the day as that might be best as you aren't going to be able to work efficiently in that office anyways. What did the HR people say??

That they are doing everything they reasonably can until the occupational health assessment is done... Which essentially means nothing. Their team won't stop wearing clouds of perfume so why would anyone else in the office? And they told me desk moves were happening so they'd try to find me a better desk during that process in our first meeting 2 weeks ago, but that was done earlier this week and they left me where I am - next to a walkway in the middle of the office.

People seem to think that because they have a right to wear scents and so on its fine for them to treat people like me this way. I just want to hand in my badge. I can't handle this stress. I'm sitting in my car bawling my eyes out and can't stop.

I'm very, very sorry margo. At the very least, this is bullying which is just a horrid and disgusting thing. But you are strong and you will get through this.

I'm very, very sorry margo. At the very least, this is bullying which is just a horrid and disgusting thing. But you are strong and you will get through this.

I'm really not strong though. I've lost the will to keep fighting in a society that doesn't care about immigrants or the disabled and just sees us as burdens. If I didn't have my cat to come home to I'm pretty sure I would've driven off the road coming home. I'm at my breaking point.

I'm really not strong though. I've lost the will to keep fighting in a society that doesn't care about immigrants or the disabled and just sees us as burdens. If I didn't have my cat to come home to I'm pretty sure I would've driven off the road coming home. I'm at my breaking point.

You may not think you are, but you are. You are amazing. You have done something that only a tiny percentage of the population would ever do more than dream of doing and you have done it with a significant disability.
I completely recognise the supreme difficulty that you are dealing with in that yours is an invisible disability and I'm just so impressed with the way you continuously advocate for yourself. You are an example.
I would reach out to your support group right now.  x

You may not think you are, but you are. You are amazing. You have done something that only a tiny percentage of the population would ever do more than dream of doing and you have done it with a significant disability.
I completely recognise the supreme difficulty that you are dealing with in that yours is an invisible disability and I'm just so impressed with the way you continuously advocate for yourself. You are an example.
I would reach out to your support group right now.  x

All of this.

You are amazingly strong.  Do not judge the UK by one group of bullies.  They are NOT WORTH your energy.  Be kind to yourself.  Go home, tuck up in some covers with your kitty, turn the a/c on if you need to, watch Love Island, and eat the noms that make you happy.  When your husband gets home cry on his shoulder, listen to his suggestions, and make a plan for moving forward.

Do you qualify for SSDI?

Hey Margo,

I really feel for you here. Are your health issues documented by your GP and considered a disability? If they aren't, you need to do that asap.

I spoke with ACAS myself about being let go for my migraines, and without having my migraines being legally considered a disability, there isn't anything I can do against it. I know your Ehlers-Danlos is a disability, but I don't know if they would consider your sensitivity to perfumes that without documentation.

The people who hired you at this company are as*hats. Do not pass go, do not collect £200. They lied to you in your interview, which is not your fault. They did that to me at the last two companies I've worked at. It sucks.

I completely understand the need to work, I'm in the same boat. But is the sh*t they are putting you through right now worth it? They need to be brought to task as they aren't accomodating. What's your probation period look like? What do you have to rely on? Can you go above these Muppets heads?

You will find the right company, who is great to work for and is understanding about your needs. It doesn't sound like it's these idiots. They seem to be taking your sensitivity as being something that is a mild inconvenience rather than a literal health issue.

I have to rely on HR at this location. I'm not sure who is over their head. They are using every excuse possible to not accommodate until I see the occupational health team via my GPs referral. The fragrance allergies have been a documented disability for the past 15 years in the US, its far more disabling than EDS in the work place. Its dictated where I can go, what jobs I can reasonably do, access to travel (virgin pump scent into planes now, cross country rail do as well on their trains and I can't take them) and so much more. I am so tired of people shitting on people like me because they think it improves the quality of a service. No, it makes it less accessible.

[hug]

No time to type, but Margo I am with you and wishing you the best. 

I have to rely on HR at this location. I'm not sure who is over their head. They are using every excuse possible to not accommodate until I see the occupational health team via my GPs referral. The fragrance allergies have been a documented disability for the past 15 years in the US, its far more disabling than EDS in the work place. Its dictated where I can go, what jobs I can reasonably do, access to travel (virgin pump scent into planes now, cross country rail do as well on their trains and I can't take them) and so much more. I am so tired of people shitting on people like me because they think it improves the quality of a service. No, it makes it less accessible.

You are in a real crappy situation. And I am so sorry. Just realise, they aren't the only people who want or need your skills.

And I feel I should ask, are they taking notes of each of your meetings with HR and are you getting to sign off or make changes to those notes? This is something they are supposed to do when dealing with a disability.

I didn't know if it was considered an allergy or a sensitivity, so I erred on sensitivity. If you have the US documentation, then I would definitely contact ACAS and speak with them. When you call them you don't even have to give them any identifying information if you don't want to when you speak with them.

You are in a real crappy situation. And I am so sorry. Just realise, they aren't the only people who want or need your skills.

And I feel I should ask, are they taking notes of each of your meetings with HR and are you getting to sign off or make changes to those notes? This is something they are supposed to do when dealing with a disability.

I didn't know if it was considered an allergy or a sensitivity, so I erred on sensitivity. If you have the US documentation, then I would definitely contact ACAS and speak with them. When you call them you don't even have to give them any identifying information if you don't want to when you speak with them.

It's a weird thing cuz it's not an IgE allergy they can test, at least in the US. I've heard they may be able to do different testing here. But it can cause anaphylaxis so it is severe, but only when I can't get to fresh air and its a high concentration.

I honestly don't think I can keep doing this job. They keep blaming me for taking it knowing they had an open office, but all offices are open now and that doesn't remove their responsibility from being reasonable. And they will get away with it because I don't have the energy to fight.

It's a weird thing cuz it's not an IgE allergy they can test, at least in the US. I've heard they may be able to do different testing here. But it can cause anaphylaxis so it is severe, but only when I can't get to fresh air and its a high concentration.

I honestly don't think I can keep doing this job. They keep blaming me for taking it knowing they had an open office, but all offices are open now and that doesn't remove their responsibility from being reasonable. And they will get away with it because I don't have the energy to fight.

Margo, you need to do what you need to do to feel healthy and happy. And I am so sorry that they aren't supporting you. It's REALLY hard to deal with this sort of thing as a new immigrant. *hugs* Well, it's hard even when you've been here a few years too.

I can understand that. My husband's aerosol deodorant gives me a horrid coughing attack any time I breathe where he's used it recently, so if it's a much stronger (and dangerous) version of that. You have my sympathies.

I can empathise, I've dealt with some sh*t from my migraines. Just realise it's not your fault. You didn't choose for your body to be like this. And they shouldn't be blaming you at all. You asked all the questions you needed to to see how your disability would fit in at work. The manager obviously didn't know enough to give you the right answers.

It's true. All offices tend to be open plan nowadays, it's cheaper... Most offices I've worked in haven't been particularly fragrant, but if there are smokers, they tend to SPRAY on the scent. Gosh, I could smell one woman across the office. AND she'd spray herself down IN the office. *rolls eyes*

It's true. All offices tend to be open plan nowadays, it's cheaper... Most offices I've worked in haven't been particularly fragrant, but if there are smokers, they tend to SPRAY on the scent. Gosh, I could smell one woman across the office. AND she'd spray herself down IN the office. *rolls eyes*

Those are the problem people here as well. The non smokers may wear some, and it'd be an issue if I was in their personal space like sitting next to/across from, but the smokers try to cover the smoke smell. (I also can't sit next to them)

Those are the problem people here as well. The non smokers may wear some, and it'd be an issue if I was in their personal space like sitting next to/across from, but the smokers try to cover the smoke smell. (I also can't sit next to them)

I've been friends with quite a few smokers and while I don't hate it, it's not fun to be around either. Those people smell very strongly of whatever eau de toilette they use as a cover up.

You're in my thoughts.

(Also, sorry if what I said earlier came across poorly... I was just trying to say "this is a small inconvenience for me and I know it's an actual health impacting problem for you". I probably said it badly.)