Inconvenient Annoyances

OMG, I had an old boss last year and she approved the purchase of a new mobile phone. It was expensed in January and approved by old boss.  I got a new boss not long after.  For some reason ,it just got flagged by finance as a Q2  'out of trend' spending.  My now boss is now accusing me inappropriate spending........OMG!!!   Luckily, I have all the emails.  This is just one of a 1000 examples of why my job just.is....   
It's not the actual work or my teammates that make  me , just the boss.......

Update on Sean - he is quite happy and eating away this morning.  I will keep an eye on him.

I've had many bosses who should have had the surname Snow!  One was having a meeting with two business men when he called me in.  He then asked me to sew the bottom of his trousers.  I then sat there in the meeting, with my boss's leg on my knee, as I sewed the hem on his pants.  The two blokes he was meeting with were absolutely mesmerised.  I didn't stay in that job for long.

My last boss in the UK was "special."  Won't bore you with details but one day he came in, said Good Morning to everyone, ignored me, as usual,   and one of the girls said to me that there was a job advertised in the local newspaper for Saudi Arabia and I asked her to get me an application form. I couldn't call for an application form because my then boss would hear me. 

Fast forward to me leaving to take up the job in Saudi and my boss asked me what made me apply.  I replied "You did" and then had the opportunity to tell him.

Fast forward to me leaving to take up the job in Saudi and my boss asked me what made me apply.  I replied "You did" and then had the opportunity to tell him.

Great response!!!!! 

You can do a one-month trial for free.  But, like Netflix, without a VPN, you get a different selection here to the US.

I need to put in credit card details to get the free trial and I am more likely than not going to forget to cancel before that month is up (even if I set a reminder lol). It does look like I can get Handmaid's Tale without a VPN though

TravelingFrog, I don't expect you to muster up any sympathy for what sounds like a massive beast of a FIL, but ... he sounds like he's depressed.  And there's definitely some other sort of mental health issue (sociopath?  paranoia? something's not right about his unwillingness to use public toilets, or buy anything to eat or drink while out) going on there.  And it's a long-standing issue, given what you've said about your husband's childhood experience.

How does your FIL get food?  Does he collect his own take-aways and ready meals, or does someone bring it to him?

At any rate, if you two do have kids, I hope your husband now agrees with you that your FIL will not be responsible for their care!  I would never trust him with kids!

FIL does the food shopping for him and grand-FIL. It's just the two of them in the house, plus us for now - we do our own shopping.

FIL cook a big pot of curry once a week for grand-FIL but FIL buys ready made food for his meals. When the kids are over, it's either pasta with pesto from a jar or frozen food for them. When FIL gets takeaways, he gets them on his way home from work.

DH definitely agrees FIL will not have a massive role in our kids' lives (grand-FIL, too - he drives us just as crazy, but he's early to rise and early to bed, so we don't run into him much even though we live in the same house).

Neither FIL or grand-FIL talk about things that are going on in their life (they don't have much of a social life) and will often ignore problems until they get really bad. A few years back, FIL had some minor medical issues that he didn't take seriously (this was before we lived here and DH had talked to him on the phone, asking him how everything was - he didn't bring anything medical up). He eventually had to go to the hospital (drove himself - idiot!) and was diagnosed with sepsis and put in critical care. SIL knew about it before DH did. SIL called DH and asked if he was free to talk. DH was walking home with a colleague and said so. SIL said no problem and to call her when he got home. DH called her 1.5 hours later (it didn't sound urgent from her call) and found out FIL might not make it. Communication with FIL, grand-FIL, SIL and DH's aunt is just a joke. When DH's gran was in hospital, the doctors said she probably wouldn't make it. After they left the hospital, DH's family told him 'oh, don't worry - she'll be fine. go back to work - it's not problem'. DH didn't think that was right, but when everyone else is telling you something, you believe it. Well, she died the next day and it's often brought up that she was asking for him as she was going.

A big difference now is that I'm seeing the same thing DH is seeing, so we can confirm the other isn't going crazy.

They are so messed up here and I'm so glad to be leaving - just under two months to go!

The thing that strikes me the most about Travelling Frog's story is the "I wanted to watch him suffer".  I've learned that British people often say the absolute truth disguised as a joke and everyone ignores it.  I agree with you all that he's not joking and I'd be terrified to even be alone in the house with him.

I'd bet there's some serious abuse of all kinds in that family history.

I'm pretty confident there's emotional abuse going on and has been for years. There's a lot of more private stuff that I don't want to get into that makes the situation even more messed up. Unfortunately, you'll get a vastly different story from every person in the family, but I'm trusting DH on that stuff.

TravelingFrog, I certainly hope that FIL got a bollocking from your SIL.  That's horrifying.
 I have no idea if this is something worth reporting to the NSPCC, as I wasn't there to read the situation fully, but definitely listen to your gut on this one. 


Oh living in the Black Forest sounds like it will be great fun. I certainly love green open spaces and no pollution, so yeah, totally see the appeal.

It's really tough because I wasn't there to witness it first hand (I'd avoid any outing with FIL) and I didn't see nephew after the fact to hear what his experience was (I try to plan my time out of the house to coincide with when SIL and kids will be here - especially SIL).

So excited for the Black Forest!

I think he's joking.
Or attempting to make a really poor joke.  But he can't have been serious...can he?

From what I've seen, FIL is not good with kids. One day when niece was crying (when she was maybe a year old), FIL placed her in the crib in a different room and closed the door. He said she was tired and needed a rest.  Uhhh..... maybe a bit of compassion, too. Maybe a cuddle, a story, some love....

He laughed like it was funny, but when we told him how dangerous it was, he didn't clarify that it was a joke.

You're not being unreasonable. I wouldn't leave my kids with that clown, either. I hope you're out of there soon.

It's hard when you think you're the only sane one in the house (DH is sane with me, just to clarify).

We'll be out in just under a month! Time for a more relaxing life in Black Forest. It isn't hard to get settled in a new country, is it? Anyone here have experience with that? hehehe

New issue with FIL (less dangerous, still bound to be annoying):

The boiler is out. It's been on the blink for ages (seriously - years) and FIL hasn't gotten it fixed. Turning it off and then back on has fixed the problem in the past (although you still get random bursts of super hot water and super cold water in the shower). Now, it seems like it's completely gone. No flashing light like before, just appears to be on and fine, but doesn't make hot water.

In the year we've been here, we've mentioned it to FIL many times (I've even gone so far as playing the helpless maiden who doesn't know how to switch it on and off again just so he can show and acknowledge it's a problem) and nothing has been done. DH was so annoyed by it this morning that he didn't text FIL that it was broken.

DH (who got a cold shower this morning) said FIL usually gets under qualified repairmen so whatever they've 'fixed' is just broken again after a few weeks/months. The current boiler was installed when they moved in about 20 years ago.

Taking bets on how long it takes to get fixed or if it gets fixed at all before we leave mid September!

New issue with FIL (less dangerous, still bound to be annoying):

The boiler is out. It's been on the blink for ages (seriously - years) and FIL hasn't gotten it fixed. Turning it off and then back on has fixed the problem in the past (although you still get random bursts of super hot water and super cold water in the shower). Now, it seems like it's completely gone. No flashing light like before, just appears to be on and fine, but doesn't make hot water.

In the year we've been here, we've mentioned it to FIL many times (I've even gone so far as playing the helpless maiden who doesn't know how to switch it on and off again just so he can show and acknowledge it's a problem) and nothing has been done. DH was so annoyed by it this morning that he didn't text FIL that it was broken.

DH (who got a cold shower this morning) said FIL usually gets under qualified repairmen so whatever they've 'fixed' is just broken again after a few weeks/months. The current boiler was installed when they moved in about 20 years ago.

Taking bets on how long it takes to get fixed or if it gets fixed at all before we leave mid September!

Is this a gas boiler?   Not something that any chances should be taken with. Do you have a carbon monoxide detector at least?

Is this a gas boiler?   Not something that any chances should be taken with. Do you have a carbon monoxide detector at least?

It is a gas boiler.

We don't have a carbon monoxide detector.

When DH was younger, he tried to convince his family they needed smoke detectors in the house. He was laughed at. He went out and bought some himself. They kept going off when they were cooking, so the batteries were taken out.

I keep forgetting the stupid things they do.

Thanks for reminding me about the carbon monoxide detector. Definitely a good thing to have when the gas boiler isn't working properly.

Thanks for reminding me about the carbon monoxide detector. Definitely a good thing to have when the gas boiler isn't working properly.

It's really an essential item to have.  CO can and does kill and is otherwise undetectable.

It is a gas boiler.

Thanks for reminding me about the carbon monoxide detector. Definitely a good thing to have when the gas boiler isn't working properly.

CO detectors are so important. My gas furnace in my US house seemed fine but was poisoning me slowly. Please leave one near the boiler and another in your living space!

I spoke to DH over lunch and he said he bought a carbon monoxide detector along with the smoke detectors, all of which had the batteries removed and were put in a drawer.

So that means there is at least one carbon monoxide detector in the house. We'll get some batteries and put it out of sight so no one can dismantle it.

Right now, the boiler isn't switching on at all. Before today, when you turned on the hot water, it rared up and made water hot. Today, when you turn on hot water, the boiler does nothing. No sound, no lights showing it's doing something. So, according to DH, that probably means it's not burning gas and leaking it (which wouldn't be noticeable). Neither of us are experts by any means, so the carbon monoxide detector will be set up tonight or tomorrow morning if we need to get batteries.