Inconvenient Annoyances

I’m another one who didn’t have my parents at my wedding.  It was just the two of us and a photographer.  VERY low key but perfect in every way.

We ADORE our parents.  It was just too hard to try to get everyone together.

But I suspect it’s not hearing it from HIM that is hurting.  Talk to him.  I bet your daughter wasn’t supposed to say. 

Big hugs.  We ALL “get it.”

Of course she wasn't supposed to tell me and both daughters think she is pregnant. But I know the girls and that is just how they are... They would have said to him too... "You knock her up?" They are all pretty sarcastic to each other.

But that's neither here nor there.

It's the fact that he hasn't told me. Ffs, he told me when he lost his virginity. (To my future daughter in law) We were that close. We spent hours on the couch talking about life.

And now I get crickets.

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I jinxed it.  The purchase of the new-build flat in the perfect location.
Just got off the phone with the mortgage broker and it's not going to happen for us.
If only my OH wasn't so picky and just fcking difficult.
If only we weren't so OLD.
Or if only we had money.
 

I jinxed it.  The purchase of the new-build flat in the perfect location.
Just got off the phone with the mortgage broker and it's not going to happen for us.
If only my OH wasn't so picky and just fcking difficult.
Or if only we had money.
 

Oh, no! Would it be worth trying another broker? They might have a different approach?

Of course she wasn't supposed to tell me and both daughters think she is pregnant. But I know the girls and that is just how they are... They would have said to him too... "You knock her up?" They are all pretty sarcastic to each other.

But that's neither here nor there.

It's the fact that he hasn't told me. Ffs, he told me when he lost his virginity. (To my future daughter in law) We were that close. We spent hours on the couch talking about life.

And now I get crickets.

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Trust me as a guy , you just put off making the call when it's going to be awkward.  Then it gets worse cause you put it off, then it's too big to deal with over the phone so you don't make the call. 

Tell him congratulations from me, the power rangers girl is one of my favorites but not in a creepy way.

Trust me as a guy , you just put off making the call when it's going to be awkward.  Then it gets worse cause you put it off, then it's too big to deal with over the phone so you don't make the call. 

Tell him congratulations from me, the power rangers girl is one of my favorites but not in a creepy way.

I think it's a couple things already touched on here.

1. He knows I won't be able to go on such short notice but I would definitely try and I would find a way to be there. He doesn't like a fuss being made over him. That's just not who he is.

2. Your point is valid. He will sometimes avoid awkward conversations. Like that one time he didn't tell me he quit his job and he let me ask him how it was going for a month before one of the girls told me.  I was here visiting at the time.

3. Maybe it isn't that big of a deal to them and they are just being low key and he will tell me on his own timeline.

They look like teenagers!

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Oh, no! Would it be worth trying another broker? They might have a different approach?

In order to get the Scottish government help to buy thing, the T&Cs state that you must use this particular broker, and we can't afford it without the help to buy scheme.  We're just too old!!  They'll only give us a 9 year term because OH is 61.  And with such a short term, the repayments become unaffordable.  The broker does work with lenders that will go up to age 75, but the help to buy scheme only allows lending to age 70.

   Guyyyyyyyyyssss… these flats had 2 bathrooms and a utility room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

In order to get the Scottish government help to buy thing, the T&Cs state that you must use this particular broker, and we can't afford it without the help to buy scheme.  We're just too old!!  They'll only give us a 9 year term because OH is 61.  And with such a short term, the repayments become unaffordable.  The broker does work with lenders that will go up to age 75, but the help to buy scheme only allows lending to age 70.

   Guyyyyyyyyyssss… these flats had 2 bathrooms and a utility room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

That is so disappointing.

How is that legal that they put an age limit on lending? The discrimination based on age is so infuriating here!

In order to get the Scottish government help to buy thing, the T&Cs state that you must use this particular broker, and we can't afford it without the help to buy scheme.  We're just too old!!  They'll only give us a 9 year term because OH is 61.  And with such a short term, the repayments become unaffordable.  The broker does work with lenders that will go up to age 75, but the help to buy scheme only allows lending to age 70.

   Guyyyyyyyyyssss… these flats had 2 bathrooms and a utility room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

That sucks. I'm sorry Albatross. 

I thought they were supposed to be lightening up on the age restrictions for mortgages but I understand that its the help to buy part that's the problem. I'd be interested to see if the English program has the same restriction.

That sucks. I'm sorry Albatross. 

I thought they were supposed to be lightening up on the age restrictions for mortgages but I understand that its the help to buy part that's the problem. I'd be interested to see if the English program has the same restriction.

Just looking around this flat, realising that I will probably have to live here for the rest of my life.  UGHHHH.  I know I should be thankful that I have a safe, warm, affordable place to live, but at the moment I just feel UGHHHH. 

Just looking around this flat, realising that I will probably have to live here for the rest of my life.  UGHHHH.  I know I should be thankful that I have a safe, warm, affordable place to live, but at the moment I just feel UGHHHH. 

Can you do it on just your salary?

And yeah.  Don’t get me started on the age thing...  🙄

That sucks. I'm sorry Albatross. 

I thought they were supposed to be lightening up on the age restrictions for mortgages but I understand that its the help to buy part that's the problem. I'd be interested to see if the English program has the same restriction.

They definitely have restrictions in England. Our old
(and I just mean previous here 😅) neighbours had to bring their son in on a house purchase because they were too old to get help to buy.

Can you do it on just your salary?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Errrrm, no.

And finally I get the rest of the story.

My son hasn't told anyone yet and my oldest daughter only found out because he came home to pick up the wedding rings.  He didn't tell her it was a secret. He just told her matter of factly when she questioned the rings. Then he went on his way and didn't give it a second thought.

Do you think any of my daughter's or their dad told me that he hadn't actually made an announcement or told everyone.

My son finally got back to me tonight with a "What? What are you talking about? What does elope mean?"

That's when I realised my 2 days of anguish was for nothing.

They only just decided to get married early 3 days ago and they've been so busy working and moving that he just hasn't had time to say anything. 



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And finally I get the rest of the story.

My son hasn't told anyone yet and my oldest daughter only found out because he came home to pick up the wedding rings.  He didn't tell her it was a secret. He just told her matter of factly when she questioned the rings. Then he went on his way and didn't give it a second thought.

Do you think any of my daughter's or their dad told me that he hadn't actually made an announcement or told everyone.

My son finally got back to me tonight with a "What? What are you talking about? What does elope mean?"

That's when I realised my 2 days of anguish was for nothing.

They only just decided to get married early 3 days ago and they've been so busy working and moving that he just hasn't had time to say anything. 



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I'm really glad to hear it wasn't malicious. I'm sorry it caused you so much distress, it's easy to have that happen when you are so far away. Maybe to help improve the communication you could start scheduling regular Skype type sessions?

Awww, Albatross, that's heartbreaking 

Glad you got to the bottom of the marriage, Tami!