Inconvenient Annoyances

She “had no idea”.  I will be requesting a refund.  This is NOT what was described and we haven’t been able to go into town as a result of the road closure (our car is on the wrong side).

I hope she’ll give the refund with no arguing.

I’m also hoping to slip downstairs,  if they are selling Tiramisu, I may be able to forgive a LOT!

I really hope you have no issues tomorrow! Fingers crossed for delicious food.

I sympathise (but secretly I want to be down there at one of the tables, slurping wine, listening to the band and eating lots of fabulous food).

Better shot of the kegs.

And the band is RIGHT THERE against our wall.  *bleep* me hard!

Oh no. Right on your wall. 

Is this a house she normally lives in? And she was away for this weekend? 

Did your children manage to sleep?

That looks like it's going to be a fabulous party wether you like it or not!

All was well in the end.  Band stopped at 11:15, which was certainly reasonable.  The only one who couldn’t sleep was my husband. 

All was cleared away this morning, so we got out just fine.  I didn’t venture down last night but only because I couldn’t be asked to put a bra on.   

We are enjoying a McDonalds now.  Husband is so happy as they do gluten free burgers.  He hasn’t had McDonald’s in years before this week so I’m indulging him. 

And the place is definitely just a holiday let.  The owner doesn’t live there normally.

So I don't normally mind volunteering for sh*t at work. I do my projects (which already stretch me thin) and I've volunteered to run/own a team counsel along with actions off the back end of it that are raised....I had my 1-2-1 with my line manager on Friday and I told her that I was very overwhelmed at the moment and drowning in work and I would need to step down from leading that counsel - at least for the short term. She's trying to work with me to get my work package defined to work out the right load of work that is healthy for me (as mentioned in another thread I believe, I'm doing a role 2 pay grades above mine without the actual pay benefit).

I get an IM a minute ago from my line manager saying I've been volunteered by another PC to present at one of our roadshows and if I wanted a call. I was like "umm...what? Sure. On skype?" and she responded with "Perfect you can talk about this later?" .....I had to make it clear the "sure" was to the call not speaking. I made it clear that I wasn't 100% confident about speaking at this roadshow but that I would definitely be fine having a chat about it.

Will need to phone her later to speak about it, but apparently it's because the other PC said no to doing it and therefore I was volunteered (as there are only 3 PCs based in our office). I'm not exaggerating that I volunteer for MOST opportunities that present themselves unless I physically can't. Even when I don't volunteer, I make it clear that I'm happy to do it if there's absolutely nobody else....but I would've thought in this instance, where I wasn't even asked and I had JUST voiced last working day that I was overly stressed and overloaded to the point that I (as a non-crier) nearly cried at my desk on 3 separate occasions due to stress the following day, I wouldn't automatically be told that I'm volunteered and that's that.

I know what'll happen, I'll be guilt tripped into just doing it...but it feels so unfair. Why can't somebody else volunteer for a change?!

So I don't normally mind volunteering for sh*t at work. I do my projects (which already stretch me thin) and I've volunteered to run/own a team counsel along with actions off the back end of it that are raised....I had my 1-2-1 with my line manager on Friday and I told her that I was very overwhelmed at the moment and drowning in work and I would need to step down from leading that counsel - at least for the short term. She's trying to work with me to get my work package defined to work out the right load of work that is healthy for me (as mentioned in another thread I believe, I'm doing a role 2 pay grades above mine without the actual pay benefit).

I get an IM a minute ago from my line manager saying I've been volunteered by another PC to present at one of our roadshows and if I wanted a call. I was like "umm...what? Sure. On skype?" and she responded with "Perfect you can talk about this later?" .....I had to make it clear the "sure" was to the call not speaking. I made it clear that I wasn't 100% confident about speaking at this roadshow but that I would definitely be fine having a chat about it.

Will need to phone her later to speak about it, but apparently it's because the other PC said no to doing it and therefore I was volunteered (as there are only 3 PCs based in our office). I'm not exaggerating that I volunteer for MOST opportunities that present themselves unless I physically can't. Even when I don't volunteer, I make it clear that I'm happy to do it if there's absolutely nobody else....but I would've thought in this instance, where I wasn't even asked and I had JUST voiced last working day that I was overly stressed and overloaded to the point that I (as a non-crier) nearly cried at my desk on 3 separate occasions due to stress the following day, I wouldn't automatically be told that I'm volunteered and that's that.

I know what'll happen, I'll be guilt tripped into just doing it...but it feels so unfair. Why can't somebody else volunteer for a change?!

If there is that much pressure on you to do these things then it is not really volunteering, you're being bullied into doing it. I'm sorry. I hope you can find a way to put your foot down and feel good about doing it.

Learning to say "no" is one of the harder things in life, sometimes. But you have to put yourself first, because if you wear yourself to a frazzle, both you and anyone close to you will be the ones that suffer. The employer will just hire someone else to replace you if you burn out, and move on.  You really do need to take care of yourself.

If there is that much pressure on you to do these things then it is not really volunteering, you're being bullied into doing it. I'm sorry. I hope you can find a way to put your foot down and feel good about doing it.

I know I'll be able to put my foot down...unfortunately, I don't think I will feel good about it regardless I will just feel bad - even though I know I shouldn't). No offense to the other lovely people in my team, but none of them ever seem to volunteer to do anything that has the least bit of pressure on them (like becoming a subject matter expert or joining workplace initiatives. They will only really volunteer to do the stuff like cleaning up after a fun day has taken place. Which is fine because I know not everybody wants to deal with that pressure and they might have nerves, etc....but then it's not fair that I then always have to fill in for them because *somebody* has to represent...

Learning to say "no" is one of the harder things in life, sometimes. But you have to put yourself first, because if you wear yourself to a frazzle, both you and anyone close to you will be the ones that suffer. The employer will just hire someone else to replace you if you burn out, and move on.  You really do need to take care of yourself.

Oh totally..my husband has to deal with me being crabby and/or unproductive when I get home because I just can't think clearly by that point and the wrong phrase from him will just make me snap at him (even though it's unfair to him). I just wish I didn't HAVE to be the bad guy saying "no" just once. I wish other people would make an attempt so I didn't even have to be put in that position.

I wouldn't even mind but I JUUUUUSTT told my line manager Friday afternoon about how stressed I was with everything. She should know.

I've now been cc'd into the below email:

"Hi Priscilla
I have spoken to Nicki this morning to advise that due to my workload I will not be in a position to be a Guest Speaker at Murdo’s Roadshow next week
However we have a replacement - Tori Powell has agreed to step in 

Hi Tori
Thank you for helping out  . Please see Priscilla’s original email (21/08 @13:57) below which details what she is looking for along with the ‘example’ attachment she sent over

Many thanks
Donna"


I just feel completely taken advantage of. I replied to just my line manager saying "Hi, I actually feel pretty uncomfortable on the below as I'm not sure what I'm suppose to talk about or for how long. As mentioned on Friday, my workload is quite high as well and I was hoping to get more details before agreeing to this, but it appears I've already been volunteered. Could you please call me to discuss the details when you have a free moment".

When she calls I'm going to let her know I'll do it out of obligation but I'm not HAPPY to do it. I feel totally taken advantage of because I don't ever say no because usually I'm actually asked first and the things I'm volunteered for aren't usually presenting to a whole f*ck-ton of people. Why does the other person, WHO VOLUNTEERED,'s workload being high mean that my workload, that I actually complained was unreasonably high for one person, is okay for this? I didn't even volunteer!! I said I would be happy to talk about it.

Not. Happy.

I've now been cc'd into the below email:

"Hi Priscilla
I have spoken to Nicki this morning to advise that due to my workload I will not be in a position to be a Guest Speaker at Murdo’s Roadshow next week
However we have a replacement - Tori Powell has agreed to step in 

Hi Tori
Thank you for helping out  . Please see Priscilla’s original email (21/08 @13:57) below which details what she is looking for along with the ‘example’ attachment she sent over

Many thanks
Donna"


I just feel completely taken advantage of. I replied to just my line manager saying "Hi, I actually feel pretty uncomfortable on the below as I'm not sure what I'm suppose to talk about or for how long. As mentioned on Friday, my workload is quite high as well and I was hoping to get more details before agreeing to this, but it appears I've already been volunteered. Could you please call me to discuss the details when you have a free moment".

When she calls I'm going to let her know I'll do it out of obligation but I'm not HAPPY to do it. I feel totally taken advantage of because I don't ever say no because usually I'm actually asked first and the things I'm volunteered for aren't usually presenting to a whole f*ck-ton of people. Why does the other person, WHO VOLUNTEERED,'s workload being high mean that my workload, that I actually complained was unreasonably high for one person, is okay for this? I didn't even volunteer!! I said I would be happy to talk about it.

Not. Happy.

I hope you get a massive promotion out of all your extra work!



I am currently thankful to be back home cuddling with my cat, for diazepam, and that the hell of the past few months will be over soon even though my health will take a lot longer to recover.

I've now been cc'd into the below email:

"Hi Priscilla
I have spoken to Nicki this morning to advise that due to my workload I will not be in a position to be a Guest Speaker at Murdo’s Roadshow next week
However we have a replacement - Tori Powell has agreed to step in 

Hi Tori
Thank you for helping out  . Please see Priscilla’s original email (21/08 @13:57) below which details what she is looking for along with the ‘example’ attachment she sent over

Many thanks
Donna"


I just feel completely taken advantage of. I replied to just my line manager saying "Hi, I actually feel pretty uncomfortable on the below as I'm not sure what I'm suppose to talk about or for how long. As mentioned on Friday, my workload is quite high as well and I was hoping to get more details before agreeing to this, but it appears I've already been volunteered. Could you please call me to discuss the details when you have a free moment".

When she calls I'm going to let her know I'll do it out of obligation but I'm not HAPPY to do it. I feel totally taken advantage of because I don't ever say no because usually I'm actually asked first and the things I'm volunteered for aren't usually presenting to a whole f*ck-ton of people. Why does the other person, WHO VOLUNTEERED,'s workload being high mean that my workload, that I actually complained was unreasonably high for one person, is okay for this? I didn't even volunteer!! I said I would be happy to talk about it.

Not. Happy.

WHAT?!?  Oh, hell no.  You need to reply with, “Per our conversation on Friday, I am overwhelmed with my current workload.  While I said I was willing to speak to you about the presentation, I, in no way, was committing to speaking at the presentation.  I’m not sure how that was interpreted into me speaking, but until I know that my current workload is being reduced, it’s a hard no.  Can you please undo what’s been done?  I look forward to catching up and hearing what progress has been made from our conversation Friday.”

Remember, “No.” is a complete sentence.  DO NOT FEEL GUILTY.

I hope you get a massive promotion out of all your extra work!



I am currently thankful to be back home cuddling with my cat, for diazepam, and that the hell of the past few months will be over soon even though my health will take a lot longer to recover.

Nope..the incentive is that I get to keep my role when redundancies come around and an average rating. I got a pay-rise this last cycle but it's never a  big raise (though I'm grateful don't get me wrong...any raise is a raise), which is why you need to go in at the highest possible salary you can push for.

Glad that you've got nearly all that miserable experience behind you. What ended up happening in the end, I don't think I saw you mention it?

WHAT?!?  Oh, hell no.  You need to reply with, “Per our conversation on Friday, I am overwhelmed with my current workload.  While I said I was willing to speak to you about the presentation, I, in no way, was committing to speaking at the presentation.  I’m not sure how that was interpreted into me speaking, but until I know that my current workload is being reduced, it’s a hard no.  Can you please undo what’s been done?  I look forward to catching up and hearing what progress has been made from our conversation Friday.”

Remember, “No.” is a complete sentence.  DO NOT FEEL GUILTY.

Phoned her and think there was a miscommunication of some sort and that it wasn't supposed to be committed that I'd be doing the presentation. We discussed and she said she would inform them that nobody was available. The third person's workload isn't even unmanageable. She just "doesn't like presenting".....LOL  I just told her that I had way too much prep work to do and a lot of stuff to work through as I'm on holiday in a few week's time so have a lot of backlog to work through before I can even think about handovers and "extracurriculars". She was very apologetic and said she'd sort it out. I was honestly so angry and felt so taken advantage of but am glad I sorted it out on the phone vs email so she could understand where I was coming from better. Think she felt she hadddd to give somebody and I don't usually say no or push back but this time it was a hard pass.

Phoned her and think there was a miscommunication of some sort and that it wasn't supposed to be committed that I'd be doing the presentation. We discussed and she said she would inform them that nobody was available. The third person's workload isn't even unmanageable. She just "doesn't like presenting".....LOL  I just told her that I had way too much prep work to do and a lot of stuff to work through as I'm on holiday in a few week's time so have a lot of backlog to work through before I can even think about handovers and "extracurriculars". She was very apologetic and said she'd sort it out. I was honestly so angry and felt so taken advantage of but am glad I sorted it out on the phone vs email so she could understand where I was coming from better. Think she felt she hadddd to give somebody and I don't usually say no or push back but this time it was a hard pass.

Good for you! I'm relieved!