Inconvenient Annoyances

TFW you're relieved you'll be able to afford a trip home for a memorial service, only to have other family members guilt trip you for not being able to stay longer/travel further since they won't be there. School holidays make the flights 3x the price the following week.

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TFW you're relieved you'll be able to afford a trip home for a memorial service, only to have other family members guilt trip you for not being able to stay longer/travel further since they won't be there. School holidays make the flights 3x the price the following week.

You're flying thousands of miles across an ocean to get close.  If they aren't able to make time or effort to be where you'll be when you're there, they don't deserve to see you.  Their problem.

An immediate family member just decided to get married with only a few months notice, and the wedding date is less than two months after my long planned trip across the pond. For reasons I won't get into, it's impossible to reschedule or cancel that trip, and the family member is aware of the inconvenience but isn't willing to reconsider the wedding date. The money I'd hoped to use to explore more of Europe this summer will now go to a second expensive overseas airfare.

Another family member cheerfully said in response to the situation: "this is what you signed up for when you moved abroad!" It's not quite what I had in mind, actually. Very happy for the people getting married but not the IA it's causing me!

This isn't a new IA but a follow up and enormous thank you to all of you who responded to my old IA above. Your responses gave me the courage to ask my parents to at least help pay for the plane ticket to my sibling's wedding, and to my pleasant surprise they ended up covering the entire airfare. I made the wedding a very short trip. My family planned yet another party related to the new marriage in the US over the holidays, and my parents and some extended family put heavy pressure on me to make a third trip home. I stood my ground and declined to attend. We used the money we saved on airfare to go on our own European trip instead. At least one family member is making plans to visit me in the UK this year, which means they're hopefully getting that they have to come in my direction if they want to see me more often.

You're flying thousands of miles across an ocean to get close.  If they aren't able to make time or effort to be where you'll be when you're there, they don't deserve to see you.  Their problem.

YEP! Echo-ing this!!

That and you can tell them that your home is always open for them to come visit you (even if you don't have the space, TRUST ME those are never the type of people to take you up on your offer).

This isn't a new IA but a follow up and enormous thank you to all of you who responded to my old IA above. Your responses gave me the courage to ask my parents to at least help pay for the plane ticket to my sibling's wedding, and to my pleasant surprise they ended up covering the entire airfare. I made the wedding a very short trip. My family planned yet another party related to the new marriage in the US over the holidays, and my parents and some extended family put heavy pressure on me to make a third trip home. I stood my ground and declined to attend. We used the money we saved on airfare to go on our own European trip instead. At least one family member is making plans to visit me in the UK this year, which means they're hopefully getting that they have to come in my direction if they want to see me more often.

I'm glad that it all worked out in the end! A SECOND party for the wedding?! Yeahhh absolutely NO obligation for you to get there for that. You did your bit!  Hope you enjoy(ed?) your European trip!

YEP! Echo-ing this!!

That and you can tell them that your home is always open for them to come visit you (even if you don't have the space, TRUST ME those are never the type of people to take you up on your offer).

Hahaha, you haven't met my family. My MIL told my mom she was welcome to visit anytime at the wedding, but then my mom hasn't replied to any of her emails in the last 2 years. My mom is planning a trip this year, plans to stay with her, and hasn't even been in touch! (I in no uncertain terms told her she needs to confirm the dates with them before booking, and gave the in laws a heads up who were very surprised but of course plan on being accommodating.)

I am really struggling emotionally still, better than I was but on rocky ground. I didn't need a guilt trip when just being able to go was a surprise (2 flights for under £500 total). We were just given the date for the memorial yesterday so I was expecting them to be much pricier!

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This isn't a new IA but a follow up and enormous thank you to all of you who responded to my old IA above. Your responses gave me the courage to ask my parents to at least help pay for the plane ticket to my sibling's wedding, and to my pleasant surprise they ended up covering the entire airfare. I made the wedding a very short trip. My family planned yet another party related to the new marriage in the US over the holidays, and my parents and some extended family put heavy pressure on me to make a third trip home. I stood my ground and declined to attend. We used the money we saved on airfare to go on our own European trip instead. At least one family member is making plans to visit me in the UK this year, which means they're hopefully getting that they have to come in my direction if they want to see me more often.

That is exciting I'm glad your family helped for the actual wedding, parties are definitely not a requirement! Where did you go in Europe?

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Hahaha, you haven't met my family. My MIL told my mom she was welcome to visit anytime at the wedding, but then my mom hasn't replied to any of her emails in the last 2 years. My mom is planning a trip this year, plans to stay with her, and hasn't even been in touch! (I in no uncertain terms told her she needs to confirm the dates with them before booking, and gave the in laws a heads up who were very surprised but of course plan on being accommodating.)

I am really struggling emotionally still, better than I was but on rocky ground. I didn't need a guilt trip when just being able to go was a surprise (2 flights for under £500 total). We were just given the date for the memorial yesterday so I was expecting them to be much pricier!

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On a positive note, the flight price is bangin'! Nice score!

Definitely a score on the price.

My own, rather insignificant IA for today. I filled the tub halfway with hot water, to let it cool down while heating the bathroom, for a nice soaking bath. In the meantime I started prepping all the chicken Tesco actually delivered, for canning. Got one batch in the canner, went to wash up the frying pans (I always brown the chicken that's going to be in chicken-in-broth) and, lo, we have no water. Nor does a large area of town around us, apparently. Seems there's a main break in Bearsden on a main that feeds the west side of Glasgow.

Sigh. There was enough water in the kettle for a cup of tea each, for us. I have two smallish bottles of water in the cupboard. And I have the equivalent of 7 pints of chicken sitting on my counter, waiting for the pressure canner to be done with the first batch, so I can put them into process as well. Enough water in the bottles to make the broth with, and for heating the lids, plus a bit more.

So, the water in the tub went colder faster than I thought, and is now not suitable for a bath. Which is handy, as we are now on that old "septic system is acting up' plan regarding using buckets of water to flush the loo. If it' it's pee, let it be.... Since we don't know how long the water will be out.

Lucky, though, as I'd done two loads of laundry this morning, and the last one had a good dash of bleach. That would have been bad if the washer couldn't have rinsed the bleach out. So Dodged a Bullet, there!

UGH that's a pain Nan! Any idea when the water is expected to be sorted? Just chuckled to myself about "if it's pee, let it be" LOL.

My IA is that it was announced today that the majority of our smaller hub sites at work would be moving to the big hub site in Newbury.... I'm thankful I still have my job but it's definitely both inconveniencing and annoying...but just mildly compared to others who could be losing their job as they aren't going to relocate from Scotland (for example) down here to Newbury... I'd rather have my job with a mild irritating inconvenience (we thought there'd be big layoffs announced so much preferred) than no job and no commute and no money.

Oh, that's a bummer for all those folks given a choice between moving and keeping their jobs! Ewwww. I had that happen once, and although I did move for the job, it stung.

No, they have not said anything about how long it will be. Apparently the Fire Dept is up there to help with "the flooding" so it must be an epic break. We used to have that happen all the time in San Diego (aged infrastructure and sandy soils), so  it's not a tragedy. 

I did pop out to the corner store, though. Bought four two-litre bottles of drinking water. Said on the shelf they were a pound something each, but the lady at the shop rang them up as two-fer-a-pound.  So I can go ahead and finish canning my chicken soup starter, and we will have at least a few days' water for making tea. Plenty of other liquids to drink in the house, so we're set.

On the way out I passed my downstairs neighbor who asked if we had water. Filled her in on the story - she looked positively panicked. People here seem to do that, a lot. I may take her one of my bottles of water, later, if they don't have the water on in a few hours.

That stinks KoD. My company in the US did that for a big project, I lost my job because I was planning to move here, the project died (for unrelated reasons), and all my coworkers had moved to Chicago by then. If you need to cut staff that is generally one of the best ways to do it.

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That stinks KoD. My company in the US did that for a big project, I lost my job because I was planning to move here, the project died (for unrelated reasons), and all my coworkers had moved to Chicago by then. If you need to cut staff that is generally one of the best ways to do it.

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They keep telling us it's not due to workforce reduction but I've just found out there will be layoffs (just not me)...

I'm glad that it all worked out in the end! A SECOND party for the wedding?! Yeahhh absolutely NO obligation for you to get there for that. You did your bit!  Hope you enjoy(ed?) your European trip!

I know, right? The wedding was on the smaller side, and some extended family who weren't invited raised a stink. So there was a party for them over Christmas where they all wanted me to be there. My aunt, who was at the wedding itself with me, actually drunkenly confronted and berated me at the reception because I wasn't planning to come. My mom was with her and just nodded along. This sort of behaviour is par for the course with that side of the family.

That is exciting I'm glad your family helped for the actual wedding, parties are definitely not a requirement! Where did you go in Europe?

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We saw the Northern Lights. It was a fantastic trip! So much more relaxing than the party would've been!

I'm sorry you're facing similar challenges with your family over the memorial service. My family is similar in that it's hard to get them to come to me. With any luck, it'll blow over after the event. For all the family pressure I get to attend various functions, they usually forget pretty quickly afterwards that I wasn't there.

We saw the Northern Lights. It was a fantastic trip! So much more relaxing than the party would've been!

I'm sorry you're facing similar challenges with your family over the memorial service. My family is similar in that it's hard to get them to come to me. With any luck, it'll blow over after the event. For all the family pressure I get to attend various functions, they usually forget pretty quickly afterwards that I wasn't there.

Northern lights are a dream trip!


My grandma is going to be 95 or 96 and still lives independently, it would definitely be nice to be there to celebrate that but we made a special trip to see her with my sister right before I moved, anticipating that I probably wouldn't be back in time for any of the other milestones. I have a chronic illness and it absolutely wiped me out for days to do that but I needed to. They haven't ever come to me in all the years I've been sick, aside from my engagement dinner (since we did the marriage visitor visa and married in Edinburgh), and I appreciated it. But I can't beat myself up now for being unable to do everything. Living here has been so much harder than I thought possible, so them piling on was just too much yesterday.

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