Long Distance & Depression

I apologize if this is the wrong place for this. I'm just starting to feel a little desperate and wanted to come here for some advice.

So just a little about me first, I've been in a LDR with my fiancée for about 2 1/2 years. She's in the UK, I'm in the US. The wedding date is next June and we have everything sorted out. When I apply for my visa, when I'm moving over there, etc. etc.

I visited her in September for about two weeks and after I left is when things started. We've  visited each other a lot in the past two years and it's always really rough to say goodbye but after about a month of mourning and being depressed we move on. But for some reason this time has been much more difficult for her. And I've been doing my best to be supportive while dealing with my own sad feelings about not being there anymore.

Fast forward two months and things have gone from bad to worse. She's been diagnosed as having mild depression, takes anti-depressants every day and goes to counseling about once a month. I do my very best to be there for her. And part of me feels a bit guilty that I did have to leave her. I know she doesn't blame me and I know that me not being there isn't the root for all of her depression but on a total irrational level I feel like she wouldn't be feeling as bad if she wasn't with me.

Anyways, I feel a bit self conscious sharing all of this. I talk to my friends about it but it's...well it's different for them to relate most of the time because they live with their partners. There's not this big distance between them. I just feel like I need to tip toe around her right now. I can't bring up anything about next year without her going into stress overload. I want to be there for her, be that shoulder she needs but I'm already mentally preparing myself for making the huge move over there. I'm worried if things aren't going to get better and when that day comes that I finally move over there she isn't going to be the same girl anymore. I love her. Nothing will change that. I just feel a bit...useless and don't know what to do.

Anyways any suggestions on coping with this would be welcome. I apologize for the lengthiness of this. Thank you so much 

Hi....you sound like my fiancee(UK) talking about me (US).  I have been extremely depressed being seperated from him, take those anti-depressants, and suffer from panic attacks/anxiety over every little thing - with the biggest current issues being the visa application and upcoming wedding.  So....from my POV only (not expert advice by any means)...it is hard esp the Holidays being "without" your partner and in my case, my best friend.  And yes, the internet and phone calls are super, but it will never fill the void (or the time zone lags...let me guess, when you get home from work...she is already asleep) She WILL be the same girl you love when you get there...just might not be that "same" girl you are with when together now.  We are silly over-emotional beings...or so my fiancee says jokingly...and the stress of just being in a LT relationship is hard on any couple but when continents apart it is almost unbearable at times.  Be patient, be understanding (yes...we cry over little things esp goodbyes on the phone), and be supportive....focus on the future always....plan the "little" things together (one of my happiest weeks was shopping online for a purple couch on UK websites), refocus her energy on things couples would share and plan for (we LOVE to plan and these plans give us security and aleviate the anxiety - so...plan for your first Holiday tradition, how to celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK, plan for your first pet, etc) Oh...and the best one yet...plan a "date night" once a week (whether online, phone, or Skype-you MUST have Skype!) and have a date....what you are wearing, eating, where you are going, what you are seeing, etc. 

More than anything, realize...if you can both endure this time apart, the reward will be so much greater....My fiancee constantly reminds me that this just might be the hardest thing we have have to overcome...after this...it is just us and our wonderful life together...a small price to pay for a lifetime of happiness....and if she needs a friend to chat with who is going throught the same....have her contact me  Good Luck!!!!!

I just wanted to thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this. Since I posted this things have gotten a lot better and I'm actually the one who's having a harder time than she is. She's off medication and doing a lot better.

Thank you for the great suggestions! I really love your date night idea. We've only done a couple but they were so much fun. We might have to do that because of V-Day coming up.

Thank you again for your lovely words and understanding. I wish the best of luck to you and your fiancé as well!

Hey,

Hope the wedding went well and everything is all ok now