Visiting the UK for the first time and I need advice!

I wasn't sure where to post this thread, after much searching and perusing I decided I'd post here. I hope it's okay!

So my boyfriend came for another visit over Christmas and he proposed The plan is for us to get married here in the US in May and for me to move to Wales in June. I am also planning on visiting in March. I have heard so many horror stories about women going to the UK to visit their significant others and have been scared to death thinking about it.

I've gathered that I need to bring a letter from my employer. What does this letter have to include? Does it matter how long I've been employed? What else should I bring to assure them that I WILL be returning to the states at the end of my visit? A letter from my mother's doctor stating that I am a primary care giver?

The stress is crippling. Y'all have been fabulous with your advice with prior questions I have posted. Please give me any and all information and suggestions you can! Thank you so much!

You can find a fairly detailed list of documents you need as a visitor here: http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visitingtheuk/visitors/documents/

You basically need to show that you will be leaving the UK at the end of your visit and that you have enough money to support yourself for the entire trip (also, knowing the proper visa process for marrying a UK citizen and that you will have to apply for a spousal visa after you are married will be helpful too).

So you need:

- A return ticket (vital)
- Bank statements showing you have enough funds for your visit
- Evidence that you have ties to return to in the US, by way of a letter from your employer, evidence of a home in the US (i.e. rental agreement/home ownership etc.), evidence of family in the US to return to etc.

The link I've posted above says that, for the employer's letter:

if you are employed, a letter from your employer granting leave of absence from your job for a specified period - the letter should also say how long you have been employed by that employer, in what job(s), and when you are expected back at work;

Thank you so much!

also, I'm curious as to everyone's experiences when they initially visited - what was the process like? How many of you actually needed to present all of the documentation listed? Of course, I will have all of it on me in case they ask for it and I'm not ONLY traveling to visit my fiance, I also have many friends over there I am going to be visiting as well. Should I have a list of everyone I'm visiting along with their phone numbers?

I am a natural born worrier and am the kind of person that needs to know as much as possible about any situation before I throw myself into it. I know y'all have probably answered these questions numerous times already so I truly appreciate you taking the time to talk to me!

I visited a lot (DH and I dated for seven years, to my poor mother's disgrace).  I was asked to present a letter from my employer once, but I always, always, always had a return ticket, enough money (if they asked), and a flat/job to go home to.
The IOs were actually, on the whole, really nice to me.  I'd tell them I was visiting my British boyfriend/fiancé/husband (as the years went on!), and I never had any trouble. I always had a job and home to go back to--the only time I had ANY trouble was when I went on  holiday with DH (then boyfriend) to France and the woman at Stansted gave me a minor grilling as I think SHE thought I was trying to restart the 6 month visa. Otherwise, even when we were already married, honestly it was no trouble.
I don't think you need the names and numbers of everyone you're visiting, they are more interested in you proving that a) you know the rules and can support yourself while here and b) you are planning on LEAVING.
Have fun!

Can it be as simple as saying, I'm here on vacation for three weeks? Show your return ticket and your on your way.

Can it be as simple as saying, I'm here on vacation for three weeks? Show your return ticket and your on your way.

Yes, but if she's asked if she's visiting anyone she should, of course, tell them that she's here to visit her fiancé.  And they will ask. I usually said I was here for a few weeks holiday, and they ALWAYS asked if I was visiting someone.
There is no reason not to be completely honest here, and lots of reasons why hiding the truth or lying will get you in lots of trouble later.

So I should immediately admit that I am visiting my fiance and not "visiting friends"? Even though both of those are completely valid and true? If I say I am visiting friends and then it comes to be known that I am in fact also visiting my fiance, I could look like I was trying to hide something, yeah?

So I should immediately admit that I am visiting my fiance and not "visiting friends"? Even though both of those are completely valid and true? If I say I am visiting friends and then it comes to be known that I am in fact also visiting my fiance, I could look like I was trying to hide something, yeah?

Well, I always went under the assumption that it was better to get it all out there. So I always just said my boyfriend/fiancé/husband and friends. The thing is, you are TOTALLY ALLOWED to visit your fiancé, you just have to obey the laws while doing so. So, all you have to do is prove that you know what you're doing and you're heading home. There is NOTHING wrong with visiting! In fact, most of the IOs I chatted with either didn't care at all or told me to have fun or whatever.
I'm sure others will come up here with more advice; this is just what I always did. Don't worry too much, just be prepared and then have a good time!

Look at it this way: If you say you're visiting "friends," and then after further questioning, you reveal that one of these friends is actually your fiance.  The IO will immediately think you're trying to hide the fiance.  And why would you do that?  Maybe because you're planning to stay with this fiance and not leave after 6 months.  Rather than take that risk, they'll bounce you.  However, if you immediately bring up the fiance (who's the real reason you're visiting, be honest, these other friends may be great but the fiance's the main thing) and are able to show that you understand the rules and plan to follow them, then there's no reason for the IO not to trust you, so he'll let you in.  Which scenario sounds better? 

Definitely saying I'm visiting my fiance! Totally not going to skip over the fiance bit.

The thing I'm worried about is the whole "proof of job" and "residency". I currently live in Oklahoma City and I am employed. Things are rough though right now and I have been contemplating moving back to Tulsa to live with my mom and dad. Mom has MS and has been doing very poorly as of late. My father travels a lot and is unable to take care of her all of the time. When I move back to Tulsa I will be one of her primary care givers. As far as the job is concerned, dad won't let me move back to Tulsa until I have something set up, anyway. I was hoping that having a letter from my mom's physician as well as a job offer letter would be enough when I went to visit the UK (as far as proof that I'd be returning at the end of my 2 week stay).

Now I'm starting to think I just need to sit pretty and not move to Tulsa. It really sucks. I don't have any proof of residency right now as far as a lease is concerned because my lease ran out 2 years ago and I've just been staying at my apartment month to month. My landlord didn't require signing another lease.

What else could I show as proof that I would be returning to the states? I'm already starting to feel defeated. I'm not trying to pull anything over on anyone! I just REALLY need to visit Wales before we get married!

If you don't have a lease why don't you bring the cashed checks?

I know how stressful this is, but going prepared makes it tons easier!

If you don't have a lease why don't you bring the cashed checks?

You are BRILLIANT!

Is it impossible to visit if you aren't employed? I imagine it'd be damn near impossible.

I just wanted to throw my recent story in...

I had just moved back to California from Italy, so no job yet and living with my mom. I was super nervous about flying over to the UK two weeks after my arrival in the US. So I got as much info as I could to show I was not going to overstay. I got a good grilling which lasted about 5 minutes but seemed like so much longer! I was 100% honest from the very beginning. I told the IO I was there visiting my boyfriend and that I was well aware of the rules and laws of immigrating and that I was not going to overstay. She wanted to see my return ticket, how I was going to support myself (bank statements shown), asked how I received all that money (divorce), how I could travel so much before (lots of UK stamps in passport and convenience of living in Italy), I had to show her my itinerary from Italy to California and why I was leaving Italy (divorce), I had my divorce papers ready to be shown because I had to be IN California in February for the final statement. (This was at the end of December 2010 and I was only staying 20 days) So I was nervous but answered everything and showed her everything. At the end she asked me what my plans were after I left the UK. I told her I was going to find a job and springtime my boyfriend was coming to the US to meet my family. She stamped my passport, handed it back and I told her thank you. She didn't say a word to me.

Maybe I was just lucky....