Tea Wench

Hello,

I wonder if any other women are undergoing a similar issue.  I am a lawyer and I work from home a lot.  Last year we bought a house that needed "modernization"-- our little money pit has required repaired roofing, new boiler, updated kitchen, refurbed bathroom, etc.  And we have had various workmen doing the work over the past year.  They all expect me to drop what I am doing to fetch them coffee and tea at their leisure.  When I am not around they help themselves to our mugs, silverware, sugar, etc. when we are not here and we have since "lost" two teaspoons and they broke a mug.  I am sick and tired of playing tea wench!  Has anyone else encountered this issue?
I feel like I have no choice but to play along despite my growing fury at how I am treated here as a woman!

Whether you are a woman or a man there at the house (as the homeowner) while the workmen are in - their expecting to have tea on the job is part of the custom here.  I put that down to a portion of the 'price' of having a job well done.

However, if you need to get work done yourself, you could tell them that you're working & have them help themselves during that time.

Why not buy some cheap tea mugs and teaspoons, etc (like from the Poundshop), put all that on a tray for them somewhere with the sugar/tea/milk, and let them know they are to use those designated supplies on the tray when they are helping themselves?

When I had my builder around, I enjoyed chatting with him from time to time after I made him tea - I learned so much about my house, building methods, referrals for other services, etc.  But then I wasn't also trying to work at that time either.

 

When we had our kichen re-done last summer, the builder just asked to make sure the tebags were plenty - he supplied his own milk and cups. If I or my partner was home, they didnt bother us, only to ask questions about what was done and if it was okay to tweak plans.

They did nick a few of our teaspoons, but we also picked up a few other random ones. Im not too bothered as our cutlery didnt cost a lot and Im planning to eventually upgrade it all.

Yeah, I think my builder has his own cup & milk a lot of the time.  At first, he brought his own teabags too because he didn't like the kind of tea I had.  

But I didn't mind if he used my stuff, our milk, etc & I eventually got him some Tetley teabags which is what he liked & I ended up liking those the best too.  We bonded over Tetley tea.  

He was here for some time doing a massive job (repointing) & some other odds & ends, he was good, honest, knowledgeable, & reasonably priced, and I didn't mind having tea and such around for him.

Is it really considered rude if you don't provide tea or coffee to them when they come to do work on the house? I have a hard enough time knowing where to put myself let alone worry about if I've kept them efficiently hydrated and caffeinated.  

I don't know about rude & obviously, YMMV.  But IME, builders/contractors/etc do tend to expect to have at least some facilities about for them to have tea at intervals.

I kind of like the custom actually, because it seemed to make the relationship (homeowner employing the builder) a little friendlier, less formal, etc - and built more trust between us that way when we chatted on tea breaks, plus I learnt so much about my house.  I mean I knew nothing about nothing & DH left it to me to sort everything out (he didn't know anything either & we really are rubbish at DIY).

I agree with Mrs R. Not rude, but certainly expected.

I've never minded getting tea and biscuits for workmen but then, unlike you, I haven't been working at the time. I can see how that would be inconvenient. I like the idea of putting out mugs and spoons (even plastic ones would do) and letting them do it themselves. I'm sure if you just told them you worked from home, they'd be fine with it.

I also agree that it's not about being a woman - it's just that whoever happens to be home at the time is going to get stuck being on tea duty.

They might not think it's rude (or they might!) but they'd certainly think it was odd if there wasn't a supply of tea/coffee!  I'd also go with the idea of getting some cheap cups etc and setting it all out for them to help themselves.  It's just an easy way of lubricating relations between worker and employer - it can't hurt!  Also if they can't get a quick cuppa in your home perhaps they'll take longer breaks to get one elsewhere?? (Just a thought)

It took me a few years to remember to offer tea when workmen came.  Offering water or soda was my US default, so I do tend to still offer water first.  I was a bit taken aback by someone asking for coffee until I was clued in that instant coffee was perfectly acceptable.  I'd be seriously annoyed if someone pinched my spoons, though.   

Yeah, I'd be annoyed about missing teaspoons, but thing is - I wouldn't know if the builder had taken it by mistake or if my husband had done something silly with it (put it somewhere silly or taken it to work & left it). 

My teaspoons aren't particularly precious though & as I wouldn't know who to accuse first...well.  Lol!

I think my builder made off with a spoon once or twice, but he realised & brought it back the next day.

I must admit, someone would definitely have to abscond with several spoons before I actually noticed.    I'd like to think I'd notice broken mugs, too, but unless it was a specific one that stood out, that would take a while too (unless there was evidence of breakage left around).  

My pique is purely on principle!  

It's not that I dislike providing them with refreshment, I just tend to forget!    My poor inlaws have just resigned themselves to get their own tea or coffee when the come around. Maybe just having a tea/coffee making station will be the answer.

I guess we got lucky.  When we started having work done on our flat, we asked the contractor if we should leave tea for the workers and he said that they were big boys and they could take care of themselves.  They brought their own tea kettle, etc.  We've been using them ever since when needed and while we have a quick chit chat when they arrive, they then get on with it.  Like Ophinky, my default offer is always a cold drink.

I second the notion of getting some cheap mugs (Tesco probably has 4/£2) and spoons. Then I'd also probably just set up a coffee and tea making station where they could make it for themselves and let them know I'm working and they should just help themselves from the station.

We had a water main leak right outside my driveway and I even made tea for the poor guys who got called in on a bank holiday weekend and had no way of making tea.

I figure it might have gotten the job done a little quicker.