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Topic: Back in the US again  (Read 1908 times)

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Back in the US again
« on: June 07, 2011, 11:11:04 AM »
I went to see my boyfriend for two weeks and just got home two days ago. We had met before as friends, but this was our first visit as a couple and it was absolutely perfect. I had an amazing time and it really just made our love stronger and showed us what we're working for to be together. It's just that being back home and away from him is killing me. I'm finding it really difficult to sleep alone and there are a least a few times a day where I can't stop crying. My boyfriend is being incredibly supportive and helping me through this. I go back to my part time job today, so that should help. Does anyone have advice for getting over the initial, awful post visit depression?


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Re: Back in the US again
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2011, 11:17:50 AM »
Stay busy, busy, busy. And buy your ticket (or start saving up) for the next visit.  ;D

Truly, do what ever you can to cheer yourself up. I spent a lot of time outside horseback riding! And usually treated myself to a few new books. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Just blether on about how wonderful your SO is? That helps too!


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Re: Back in the US again
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2011, 01:54:18 PM »
I think we're going to get the ticket at the end of the month when we see where finances are :) I'm also going to start looking for a fulltime job so that there will be even more money coming in. I don't have much of a social life so I don't have many I can talk to right now unfortunately. I'm still at home so I have my parents and my sister, and they are helping a little bit. I'm just ready to get over this initial period of wanting to cry/crying all the time.


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Re: Back in the US again
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2011, 06:36:02 PM »
Big hugs for all the suffering. Being apart SUCKS and you have a lot of people here who understand exactly what you are going through.

Six and a half years into marriage, it is easy to look back and smile knowing I survived all the being apart, but going through it felt like a daily struggle. As Jennie said, staying busy and finding what you can to cheer you up, along with talking to friends and family (or people on here who know exactly how it feels) is the best way to cope. Talk as often as you can afford on the phone without spending a lot that can be saved for a ticket (or use Skype cos it is free), and keep in contact online daily or a few short notes a day. Making plans for the future keeps you focused on what you want, and helps you to feel you are getting closer to being together. Continue being you and nurturing relationships with family and friends. You'll need those relationships more than you might imagine once you are here. As desperate as I was to get here, I still can't believe just how much I miss everyone back home, and being able to talk to family and friends really helps. In my case, hubby moved to the States for the first five years of marriage, so he understands how it feels to be away from everyone and everything familiar.

There is nothing wrong with crying when you need to, as long as you cry and get back to planning for being together. At first I found myself wallowing in my 'I miss him' thoughts when we had to be apart, and found it made me more miserable. Once I was able to get to where I was being more positive about planning for the future I could miss him but cope knowing we were getting closer to being together.
“It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.” Joe Moore

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
― Dr. Seuss


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Re: Back in the US again
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2011, 07:27:35 PM »
Ugh, I feel your pain, that was always the most terrible time.  Like others have said just try to keep yourself as busy as possible.  Treat yourself if you can, you're going through a hard time and you need to be gentle to yourself.  Another tip, I know it was always hard to fall asleep at night so I would go to the gym before I went to bed, drink some sleepy time tea, or take a warm bath so that it was easier to fall asleep.
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Re: Back in the US again
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2011, 06:32:39 AM »
I hated it all so much-even more than the homesickness I'll feel now from time to time. I went to places that we went to, when things felt really bad. Stayed as busy as possible. saved up what I did all day and wrote him monster,epic emails telling him about it all. Woke up at 5or 6 am to skype with him(8 hour time difference kills!!)on Saturday mornings. Travelled between the 2countries as much as our wallets would allow-now both of us don't really have much savings to speak of. I came over in 2009, and we'd been friends since 1997, romantic since 2000. Good luck to you both
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Re: Back in the US again
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2011, 12:09:23 AM »
It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do, going through the intense feeling of missing him so badly that it hurts, over and over again. We have been doing the LDR thing for a year and a half and we are lucky enough that we both have jobs that allow us to see each other almost every month, he is able to get over here more than I can get over there, but that doesn't lessen the longing and just being sad. I have found that if I let myself just be pure miserable and blue and mope around for a couple of days after we leave each other, then I shake it off and start looking forward and get excited about the next visit it helps a lot. We email all day long on our cell phones and usually have a nice long phone call every day or two so we both know pretty much what each other is up to at any given time, it makes him feel closer and not so far away. It is so hard, but as long as you know the light at the end of the tunnel is there, it makes it more bearable. I hope this helps, knowing that it won't always be like this!


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