Gift Conundrum

So my wedding celebration in the states is quickly approaching (August 20th) and I guess this is kind of a random etiquette question that popped into my head the other day.  I know a lot of my guests will be giving my husband and I money as a wedding gift, just because we will be limited as to what we can bring back with us on the plane, UK vs US appliances, etc.  I am assuming most of these guests will be writing out a cheque rather than giving cash and here is where the problem lies.

If you are going to a wedding with a cheque as a gift, you would put payable to Mr. and Mrs. Lastname.  Now, my husband and I don't have a joint bank account in the states, also I am keeping my maiden name until I have to renew my passport (to avoid extra fees).  We have a joint account in the UK, but I work at a bank and I know that there usually is a fee to cash a foreign cheque (about £6) and also that it can take up to 6 weeks for a foreign cheque to be processed.

I spoke to my mom about this so she can kind of pass it around by word of mouth, anything else seems kind of presumptuous (definitely not going to put please make cheques payable to...on my wedding invites).  Has anyone else here had this issue?  How did you handle it?

We had this problem, but actually very few people gave us cheques. Most who didn't want to give bulky or heavy presents gave us gift vouchers to shops. But those who did write cheques wrote them to all sorts of different names, most of which were wrong. We didn't say anything in advance about names on bank accounts (you're right - that would really be gauche), but just dealt with it after the fact. I just sent a thank you note, returning the cheque, and explaining that our account was in xyz name. Nobody minded. And, yes, there is a fee for paying in a foreign cheque, but there's not much you can do about that.

I worked in a bank back in the States (ages ago now, so this might be outdated)  When this would come up, we would get the husband (or other person on the cheque) to sign it as they would normally do, then the person with the account would sign it as well, as the name is on the cheque.  And then we deposited it. Bring your marriage certificate to show that you have recently gotten married and the connection between your old name (on the account) and the married name (on the cheque).

I would suggest ringing your bank in the States and asking their advice.  I'm sure this is a problem they deal with on a regular basis and will be able to give you a quick and easy solution.

I worked in a bank back in the States (ages ago now, so this might be outdated)  When this would come up, we would get the husband (or other person on the cheque) to sign it as they would normally do, then the person with the account would sign it as well, as the name is on the cheque.  And then we deposited it. Bring your marriage certificate to show that you have recently gotten married and the connection between your old name (on the account) and the married name (on the cheque).

I would suggest ringing your bank in the States and asking their advice.  I'm sure this is a problem they deal with on a regular basis and will be able to give you a quick and easy solution.

I will have to get in touch with my bank in the states, but I currently work at a bank here and I know we are required to pay a cheque made out to 2 people into a joint account for clearing purposes.  Also by the time we go over to the states, we'll have been married for a month short of a year so it won't be that recent.

I think I will just have to deal with it after the fact if it turns out to be an issue.

How about depositing them into your US bank account?  You won't lose any money that way, and it's not a bad idea to keep some money in a US account for when you come visit in the future.  It might be easier to deposit them as well if you go in person with your marriage certificate to show you have been just married (in the case of checks being made out to your husband's last name.  Especially if they already know you at your local bank branch.

How about depositing them into your US bank account?  You won't lose any money that way, and it's not a bad idea to keep some money in a US account for when you come visit in the future.  It might be easier to deposit them as well if you go in person with your marriage certificate to show you have been just married (in the case of checks being made out to your husband's last name.  Especially if they already know you at your local bank branch.

The only problem with that is that if the cheque is made out to my husband and I, I probably won't be able to deposit it into my US account because it's just held in my name.

The only problem with that is that if the cheque is made out to my husband and I, I probably won't be able to deposit it into my US account because it's just held in my name.

Could he come with you to the branch and OK it in person?  I guess they wouldn't add him onto the account since he's not a legal resident in the US.

The only problem with that is that if the cheque is made out to my husband and I, I probably won't be able to deposit it into my US account because it's just held in my name.

I had people write out cheques to MR & MRS "married name" for our wedding. I took our wedding certificate to the bank and explained that I was not changing our last name but some cheques might come in under that name. They added the married last name as an "alias" to the account and just had my DH sign as well on the back of the cheques, no problem. This was at a small PA branch that is owned by Santander.

One of our guests, an 80-year-old friend of the family, sent us a cheque with his RSVP, made out to Mr and Mrs Married Name - a good four months before we got married. He also sent a letter wishing us the as much happiness in marriage as he and DF's father have had, which made it sound like these two widowers, living at the far ends of the country, are happily married to each other. DF's father mentioned that we can't cash the cheque as is, the friend sent us another one in DF's name and we shredded the first one.  I found the whole thing very funny.

We got checks made out to all combinations of names.  The bank I still had a US account with at the time is a small regional bank and they didn't bat an eye at all the various combinations once I told them I had just been married.  I had my marriage certificate handy and offered to show it, but they said it wasn't a problem.  But I think having your husband sign the check first, endorsing it over to you and then signing in your maiden name will be fine.  That is one big difference between the US and the UK check system.

Here is my own gift conundrum from my first wedding.  (sorry for a bit of off-topic-ness). 

My Uncle bought me and my husband a US Savings Bond.  It has since matured.  Upon it maturing I took it to the bank and they pointed out that he bond was actually made out to my Uncle and not me and my husband!  My Uncle accidentally put his name on the line where he should have put my and my ex's name. 

My Uncle has since passed away and my family is estranged from my Uncle's wife who is in charge of my Uncle's estate.  I decided rather than cause any upset to my Uncle's wife (I have nothing against her and don't know why my parents are estranged from her, but I don't think she was even at my wedding), I've decided to just let it go.

Mandarree - Are weddings are just a week apart, I'm Aug 27! 

Fortunatly DF and I have a joint US bank account, its in my current last name, but I think thats ok for now.  What we have also done is register on amazon UK.  I figured it would be a shop that my US relitives reconized and that it would give people who want to give something more options than cash. 

We got checks made out to all combinations of names.  The bank I still had a US account with at the time is a small regional bank and they didn't bat an eye at all the various combinations once I told them I had just been married.  I had my marriage certificate handy and offered to show it, but they said it wasn't a problem.  But I think having your husband sign the check first, endorsing it over to you and then signing in your maiden name will be fine.  That is one big difference between the US and the UK check system.

Hopefully, I will be able to do that if need be.  I bank with Wells Fargo though so I'm not sure if they will be that accomodating.

Mandarree - Are weddings are just a week apart, I'm Aug 27! 

Fortunatly DF and I have a joint US bank account, its in my current last name, but I think thats ok for now.  What we have also done is register on amazon UK.  I figured it would be a shop that my US relitives reconized and that it would give people who want to give something more options than cash. 

Does it feel like it is coming up very fast for you too?     I remember when I was saying, "Oh, it's over a year away".  Not so much anymore.

We're registered on Amazon UK too, I'm hoping people will utilize that option.

Does it feel like it is coming up very fast for you too?     I remember when I was saying, "Oh, it's over a year away".  Not so much anymore.

We're registered on Amazon UK too, I'm hoping people will utilize that option.

I just want to be him him so badly that the time is moving like molasses in January. I'm sure in that in hind site it won't feel that way. This is the longest we've gone without seeing each other in over a year and I just want it over!