Already stressed about my wedding

So after being engaged for over 4 years (my mother informed be it's been 4 years, 6 months and 4 days, not that she's counting) my fiance and I are finally thinking we should get married and live together permanently. I have absolutely zero doubts as far as marrying my fiance, but I am dreading the wedding. We both come from big Jewish families and it's pretty much guaranteed this is going to be a huge, expensive wedding and I honestly would be thrilled with something much smaller. Also, I overheard my fiance's mother say "You two should have a nother wedding here (here being the UK)".
I seriously feel like I'm going to pull my hair out!!  I think maybe it's because I've been working so much but I really need to start thinking of this as a good thing, instead of some sort of punishment.

I wouldn't mind having a second (smaller) wedding in the UK so all of my fiance's family and friends could attend, so if there are any cool locations in the UK to get married at, I would be quite appreciative if you shared them 

Also, I'm the last unwed child in my family and so is my fiance, so our families could not be any more excited.

well... you could elope. just throwing it out there

I second the elope.  If you don't tell anyone it will make the whole thing more private and more for you.  Then let your mothers plan the other 'weddings'

I'm sorry things are so stressful. 

Yes I highly recommend eloping. DH and I did and we don't regret it. It was the best few days of our lives! We went to Barbados and honeymooned there as well after the wedding. No stress what so ever!

I was completely set to just elope until my mother-in-law called excitedly today telling me how she wants us to use family heirlooms for the rings etc...I felt so guilty that I faked enthusiasm. I'm considering asking my fiance if he'll take the blame if we elope 

I was completely set to just elope until my mother-in-law called excitedly today telling me how she wants us to use family heirlooms for the rings etc...I felt so guilty that I faked enthusiasm. I'm considering asking my fiance if he'll take the blame if we elope 

Take the blame squarely as a unit. "We decided this was best for us." Tell them you wanted to be legally married so you could start the immigration paperwork if you don't want to admitt to wanting to duck a big wedding.

We're eloping to Cyprus. For about £1,000 that includes the marriage fees, a 2br apartment for a week, flights, and whatever else we need.

I've seen so many people stress out over weddings for up to a year in advance and spend so much money, it makes no sense to wind up being so miserable for something that's supposed to be happy.

Now we just have to find wedding bands and we're set.

We're eloping to Cyprus. For about £1,000 that includes the marriage fees, a 2br apartment for a week, flights, and whatever else we need.

I've seen so many people stress out over weddings for up to a year in advance and spend so much money, it makes no sense to wind up being so miserable for something that's supposed to be happy.

Now we just have to find wedding bands and we're set.

Sounds great! I'm always happy for fellow elopees .

Sounds great! I'm always happy for fellow elopees .

Thanks! To make it even classier, the marriage hall in Larnaka (the district we're getting married in) is on the second story above a KFC!!

Thanks! To make it even classier, the marriage hall in Larnaka (the district we're getting married in) is on the second story above a KFC!!

Lol that is pretty classy! 

Post wedding dinner is just downstairs!!! 10 piece bucket & chips!

Post wedding dinner is just downstairs!!! 10 piece bucket & chips!

Oh god I hope not lol. Although, everyone loves chicken!

Oh don't elope!  I am a hopeless romantic and I think you'll regret it in the end. Jewish mothers are tough but stay strong and get the wedding you want. Then have a nice little wedding somewhere in the U.K. for his side. Given your last child status' your parents will really want to be involved.

I think it's her business and her mother should but out and stop dictating her adult child's life.

Personally I can't think of anything more romantic than eloping to a third country.

Then have a party when you get back!

But that's just me, I like things uncomplicated and don't live based on what other people want. Thank god my fiancée agrees...perhaps that's why she's my fiancée in the first place.