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Topic: Love her with all my heart  (Read 1963 times)

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Love her with all my heart
« on: July 22, 2011, 11:19:35 PM »

I love her with all my heart and always will, now the thing that ill hate the most is if she moves over here and her or her daughter won't like it and be home sick.... Ive tried to get sponsorship over there as the marriage visa is going to take along time and its so hard at the moment with LDR. we have to wait till April before we can get married due to other circumstances
Im just after advise from people who have moved over or people that previously felt like i have and then fount how they reacted.....

please im not asking for anyone to critised how we are doing it or to give opinions im just asking for people who have been on either end of this situation and how it turned out

Thank you in advance


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Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2011, 12:13:26 AM »
Chin up, Nottinghamboy. We did LDR for over ten years. Didn't mean to, it just worked out that way.

It all resolved itself in the end. Well, so far, so good, anyway  :)


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Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2011, 12:19:06 AM »
I think it will be natural for people who move to a whole different country to be homesick.  Bouts of homesickness will happen; IMO, it's unavoidable.  I have many friends who have moved to different countries (not just UK/US, but all over the world) - and all of them get homesick every once in a while.  I think the people who can move to a whole new country and never feel homesick are few and far in between.

I love living here (been here about 8 months), and I'm absolutely glad I made the move.  But I still get homesick - and sometimes really badly.  But not bad enough that I hate the UK and want to leave.  Overall, I love my life here and wouldn't trade it for anything.  But I still miss my friends and family in the US.

A friend of mine (back in the US) lived in the UK for a few years while she was doing her degree at a UK university.  She was homesick and missed the US and her friends and family, but it was to a point where she hated the UK and counted down every second until she could go back to the US when her degree course was finished.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can be homesick, but still be glad you made the move, and still like the UK.  Conversely, you could hate it.  But you won't really know until you try.

IMO, it's really difficult to predict how you react until you actually do it, but the good thing is that it's not something that will be permanent.  If you move somewhere and end up hating it, it's not like you've committed the rest of your life to that location... you can always move back if need be.

Edited to correct some spelling.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2011, 12:22:06 AM by Aquila »


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Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2011, 02:37:44 AM »
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can be homesick, but still be glad you made the move, and still like the UK.  Conversely, you could hate it.  But you won't really know until you try.

IMO, it's really difficult to predict how you react until you actually do it, but the good thing is that it's not something that will be permanent.  If you move somewhere and end up hating it, it's not like you've committed the rest of your life to that location... you can always move back if need be.

This 100%.  I didn't move to the UK for a relationship but met my now husband while there.  Thankfully we never had the pressure of him being the reason for my move.  However my husband is now moving to the US with me.  It is very stressful to feel responsible for someone else's happiness.  I just have to remember that I am actually not responsible for his happiness and, while I can support him and help him settle, ultimately it may not work.  And if that happens, we will decide where to move next. 


Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2011, 09:08:40 PM »
Ive just read about April 2012 with spousal Visa's and the home offices plans to not accept any Visa's unless you have been together for 4 years and there taking the the citizenship up to 5 years before your can get a ILR

I know its only a trial but how many of these trials actually become permanent?

Because that's going to effect both of us massively if we can't get married before April


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Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2011, 09:24:07 PM »
Ive just read about April 2012 with spousal Visa's and the home offices plans to not accept any Visa's unless you have been together for 4 years and there taking the the citizenship up to 5 years before your can get a ILR

Where did you read 4 years? Last I heard, they were proposing that couples had to prove a genuine relationship for 12 months before they can apply and that the time to ILR would be extended to 5 years (from 2 years).

There is a completely separate visa situation whereby couples who have been in a long-term relationship/married and living together in another country for 4 years or more can qualify for permanent residence (ILR) immediately instead of spending 2 years on a spousal visa first, but that is a current visa regulation, and part of the consultation is proposing to get rid of this special allowance for long-term couples and change it so that they would have to meet the 5-year ILR requirement as well as normal spousal visa holders (I think this part might be what you read regarding 4 years and 5 years) - this would not apply to you though.

Quote
I know its only a trial but how many of these trials actually become permanent?

I don't think it would be a trial (they don't trial new rules, they just implement them on a certain date and it would become permanent from the date they decide on - which at the moment is looking to be in April 2012). At the moment I think it's just a proposal being discussed in parliament and nothing has actually been set in stone yet.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2011, 09:31:21 PM by ksand24 »


Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2011, 09:48:55 PM »
this was what i fount on the home office website

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov​.uk/sitecontent/documents/news​/wms-family-consult.pdf

so ive just re read the 4 year part and realised ive missed read it...


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Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2011, 10:19:33 PM »
this was what i fount on the home office website

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov​.uk/sitecontent/documents/news​/wms-family-consult.pdf

so ive just re read the 4 year part and realised ive missed read it...


Yeah, there are two separate issues being discussed:

1) Increasing the requirements for new couples to have been in a genuine relationship for 12 months (and can prove it) before applying and also increasing the time to ILR to 5 years.

2) Abolishing the special condition for couples in a long-term relationship (of more than 4 years) and living together for all of those 4 years outside the UK to be able to get ILR immediately... and instead increasing their time to ILR to 5 years (if I read that part right).

In your case, the issue that will affect you is the first one (proving a relationship lasting 12 months if you apply after the rules change in April 2012), not the second one.


Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2011, 10:36:00 PM »
Thank you...

it will be the first one but fortunatly we will be married before April hopefully.... but if we were too then would skype class as proof? as well as messages on facebook?


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Re: Love her with all my heart
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2011, 10:53:32 PM »
it will be the first one but fortunatly we will be married before April hopefully.... but if we were too then would skype class as proof? as well as messages on facebook?

That's in discussion now.

IMO, the UKBA will think that things like plane ticket stubs and pictures together are more "substantial" evidence than screen captures of inboxes and Skype logs.  Those sort of things are still evidence, but may be seen as weaker evidence.  It's all up in the air right now and there's a consultation going on, but that's my hunch.


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