What are some good suburbs in/near London?

My boyfriend just got transfered to London, and needs to go there as soon as possible.
I'm very unhappy living in cities where there is crowding and lots of noise and traffic and all of that. I'd really rather live in a suburb. I google so much, but without knowing names of places I don't really know where to start. It needs to be within a distance of a train commute, since we won't have a car, but I really want it to be suburban. I want to live around houses and parks and sort of near shops, but not in somewhere that is like a city.
I've found out about one suburb called St Albans, but with more research I've found out it's super expensive. I don't know how to find names of other suburbs to research though. Thanks

My boyfriend (his name is Andy) is looking at a place called Wandsworth, and my friend has told me of a few places I might look. He recommended Harrow and told me to look around the North of London, saying I would find many "laid back" places there. He also mentioned Greenwich, but said that there might be a lot of tourist traffic, and he mentioned Westminster but said that it might be too expensive.
I am also asking a few family members who have lived in England, and I hope they will give me some advice. Right now I'm mainly looking into Harrow and Wandsworth, and I will hopefully find more places to research.
I'm open to any and all suggestions.

Suburb in the UK and suburb in the US are two different things.  You will still find areas in a suburb with lots of traffic.  For instance, Streatham has one of the busiest high streets in the world, but has quiet, tree-lined streets  with large (especially considering it's in a city) gardens where you don't see or hear a lot of traffic.

You can find country settings closer than St Albans, like in Buckinghamshire.  It depends on how far and what means he will be travelling into London.  Also, keep in mind 20 miles in the UK is a lot different than 20 miles in the US.  The roads can be very congested here compared to a lot of places in the States.  If he's travelling by train, he will need to figure out which station he needs to come into and figure out the lines from there.  Sure you can transfer, but this can add a lot of time onto a journey.

London also isn't like many American cities.  It has a semi-urban core which might feel familiar to people used to American cities.  Westminster is a very busy area.  I've lived there, and even though I lived in a sort of out of the way part of Pimlico, you can't do much without getting involved in the crush, at least during the week.  Plus it is the major tourist destination in London.  However, some of the other boroughs don't really feel like a huge urban city, but more like a big town or a small city.

Balham is a nice area in the borough of Wandsworth, which is where I'd recommend you start looking at Wandsworth.  They have very cheap council tax there, so the rents might be higher throughout the borough.  As a rule, south of the river is cheaper than north (although there are exceptions).  You really should keep in mind that you can get an idea from abroad, but you will need to be here to truly understand if a place fits your needs.

ETA: Have you worked out your visa?

To put things in perspective for you, London is about 659 square miles and other than St. Albans, all the places you mentioned are actually in London.  You might want to get yourself a map of London, a tube map and train maps so you can get a better idea of what you're dealing with. 

 You really should keep in mind that you can get an idea from abroad, but you will need to be here to truly understand if a place fits your needs.

I completely agree with this.  You can target some areas but to really know if you will be comfortable, you need to spend some time in them.  For example, I live in Westiminster and yes as Legs mentioned, it is one of the busier areas of London, but compared to New York where I lived previously, to me my neighborhood is quiet and almost villagy.  You might have a different opinion.

This link might help you research neighborhoods and areas that interest you:

http://www.upmystreet.com/

Hi

Extrapolating a little here... 

Greater London areas and the surrounding home counties are all 'expensive' and reading that you say you want a little more leafy and green and much less congested and 'city life' places to consider to live, then you're going to need to compromise on a few elements. Leafy and greener areas within London do indeed exist, from a housing point of view, these 'tend' to be on the higher end of the price scale and within a few minutes, you'd be back in the thick of 'city life' and the hustle and bustle. Harrow is very congested overall, as is Wandsworth, yes you'll find a few streets that are quieter and tree lined etc with perhaps a park near'ish by, but come morning and evening rush hours and you'll be in the thick of it!

As mentioned already, everyone is different and will adapt or choose places to live according to their own circumstances.

I'd say choose a place further out from Greater London, in the home counties and that's on a main train line into London. Many many people do this, the M4 corridor being one such example - served by the M4 motorway (highway) and a fast train line that goes into Paddington.

The furthest I had office colleagues commuting in every day by car was Peterborough !!  and by rail, I had a colleague who came in from Bristol !

As mentioned, get an idea of where your better half will be working in London, how much of a commute you are willing to put up with, and then perhaps you'd need to compromise on where to live with realistic income levels and mandatory living costs etc.

Cheers, DtM! West London & Slough UK!

Thank you all for your replies!  
I'm going to check out that link right now.
Andy and I will be heading over in September to look at places, so as of now we're just looking to know where to start. We have changed our search to south of the river, because we found the same as you mentioned, it is cheaper. The commute is also a lot better. We'll be relying on trains, and a 20 minute commute is looking a lot better to him than an hour long commute.
For each place we look (example- Priory Grove, Stockwell) I put it into google maps directions as the point of origin and set London Bridge (because I don't know where the office is, but I know it's in central London) as the destination and it gives me an exact route of public transit, with schedules and everything! It's a really handy tool.

Another thing, Andy has also just informed me that our budget for rent is roughly 800 pounds (paid by his company in addition to his salary, not us) per month. It's not a whole lot, but I think there are still some nice studios to be found. I've found a few lofts and studios that look nice and seem like they're in nice areas.

As for the visa:
He will be on a tourist visa, and I am a UK citizen, although I've never actually lived in England. I've lived in Southern California my whole life, save for a year in Northern Ireland (where my parents are from) that I hardly even remember. We hope to get a place in September or October, and his company should have his work visa worked out before the three months of his tourist visa are up. If not, he may have to go back home and come back, but I'll probably be staying over there continuously. His work is already doing whatever needs to be done for a visa (I have no clue) so I'm sure it will be sorted out by the time December rolls around and his tourist visa from September wears out.
I am reading what you are both saying, about how the dynamic of "city" and "suburb" aren't clones of the US versions. In my frantic attempts to contact relatives over there and do some research, I think I've started to notice that too.
I think that as long as I'm surrounded by residential areas, parks, schools, churches, rather than right in the midst of busy shops, huge noisy transit centers, and tall buildings, I will be content.

Remember that he cannot do ANY work on a tourist visa. And he cannot switch from a tourist visa to a work visa. He will have to go back to the US and apply from there.

If he's been transferred to London, will his company work out the visa details? As geeta said, a tourist visa won't cut it. He's got to come in on the correct visa from the start.

There are pockets of nice in neighborhoods all over the city. Anything leafy with a quick commute is likely to be pricey. And it's probably going to feel pretty urban to you even so. Still, I don't like cities either, and I didn't mind London. There are parks all over and, of course, lots to do and see.

About the visa, I'm not worried. His company is working on it right now, applying for it and stuff. For the first few months (up to three, of course) we'll be here on a tourist visa simply to be looking for a place and establishing our home.
Then when the work visa happens (again, I don't know the details but he and his company do) then I guess he'll go home and come back. It's all worked out though. His company moves him around all the time, and it's never been a problem. He's worked in Belgium and India too. I'm not worried about it. We plan to be settled in England for a while though.
He's on salary with his company which is based in the US, so he will still be getting direct deposits in his American account while we're over here on a tourist visa setting things up, and they'll be paying our travel costs, hotel bills, and eventually rent directly, and I guess things will change when every thing is sorted out. I don't know if that's sketchy or something, but it's just how they do it. (shrug)
I'm not too worried about visas. I, on the other hand, will be there as a UK Citizen (my parents are from Belfast!) so it's all going over my head. As long as I know he has it all taken care of, I don't bother asking him the details of it. :p
Thanks for the concern though.

Still, I don't like cities either, and I didn't mind London. There are parks all over and, of course, lots to do and see.

This makes me feel a lot better.

I keep looking at places on google street view and thinking to myself "okay that looks sort of urban... but still like a nice place with lots of parks and some trees and relaxation."
I just don't want to feel like I'm in LA, NYC, etc.
I was panicking to hear we were getting moved to London, picturing Manhattan except with English accents. hahaha, but now I think after looking more into it, I realize that there are many places I would be able to be okay with. I'm not looking for farmlands. hehe... just somewhere that feels residential, not a mish mash of cramped apartments and shops and train stations and constant noise.
I'm feeling better after researching more and reading the posts on this forum from people who know much more than I do on the matter.

About the visa, I'm not worried. His company is working on it right now, applying for it and stuff. For the first few months (up to three, of course) we'll be here on a tourist visa simply to be looking for a place and establishing our home.
Then when the work visa happens (again, I don't know the details but he and his company do) then I guess he'll go home and come back. It's all worked out though. His company moves him around all the time, and it's never been a problem. He's worked in Belgium and India too. I'm not worried about it. We plan to be settled in England for a while though.

So, he won't be starting work until after he has returned to the US, got his work visa and then come back to the UK again?

He's on salary with his company which is based in the US, so he will still be getting direct deposits in his American account while we're over here on a tourist visa setting things up, and they'll be paying our travel costs, hotel bills, and eventually rent directly, and I guess things will change when every thing is sorted out. I don't know if that's sketchy or something, but it's just how they do it. (shrug)
I'm not too worried about visas. I, on the other hand, will be there as a UK Citizen (my parents are from Belfast!) so it's all going over my head. As long as I know he has it all taken care of, I don't bother asking him the details of it. :p
Thanks for the concern though.

Visitors can spend up to a maximum 6 months in the UK (it's 3 months for visitors to the US, but 6 months for visitors to the UK), but it is illegal to do any kind of work as a visitor - whether paid or unpaid, or for a US or a UK company.

Visitors to the UK will need to prove that they are genuine visitors and do not intend to live or work in the UK: they need a return ticket, enough money to support themselves for the duration of their visit without working or earning money during that time, that they have reasons to return to the US and that they will not try to stay in the UK (so a job and a home to return to in the US).

Have you lived together for at least 2 years? If you have, he might be eligible for an unmarried partner visa, which could definitely be obtained before September and it would give him the ability to work.

We didn't mean to sound bossy -- it's just they've gotten really, really heavy about the rules in recent years. It's generally worth giving a noob a good shake  

It's interesting to fly over London at night. It's nothing like flying over a US city, all lit up in nice, neat gridlines. London is circular islands of light connected by meandering ribbons. That's the utter lack of gridding plus dark areas that are parkland.

Not to lead you astray -- there are parts of London I find grubby and depressing. But you'll be apartment shopping in person, so you'll be able to check it out.

We live in the country now, surrounded by sheep. Love it.

If she also has gotten her Irish passport, she could bring him in under EU rules if they lived together long enough.  Since she's not lived in the UK since a child, (I don't think) she'd fall under the new ruling that Irish citizens have to use UK rules if they've lived mostly in the UK.  I could be wrong, so someone like Transpondia should be consulted to double check.  However, I think it's a moot point if she doesn't have her Irish passport.  I know it takes a while to get one through ancestry.  It might be quicker because she is from NI.

Anyway, yeah, we're always big on checking visa requirements because too often people think it's a lot easier than it is. In fact, most of us think it's a lot easier than it turns out to be.  Nothing personal.  Plus, we don't want to let people turn around and ruin their chances of living abroad by a mistake that can be easily fixed.

In addition to the twenty miles issue, roads are twisty so 20 miles can take 45 minutes or more.