How did/do you stay close with your SO?

We all know LDR can be tough and challenging at times, but I'm a firm believer that if you love someone and are committing to making it work you've got to keep that closeness. I thought this would be fun/insightful! So how do/did you stay close with your SO during the times you're not/weren't together?

I make sure to keep in touch with my boyfriend at least 1-2x a day (skype/email/facebook). We have little inside jokes, pet names and certain activities we do together (over skype). We also try to go no more than 3-4 months without physically being near each other.

Ah, yay someone is awake!! haha. Anyways, Daniel and I message each other on BBM (blackberry messenger) every day, its free so its nice. When we can we go on skype as often as we can, which usually equals to about 3-4 or sometimes more times a week. Also, well sometimes we do fall asleep with skype on, it's nice to see each other when we wake up. Unfortunately we have to go 6 months between visits, but are hopefully going to narrow that down enough.

Your SO posted a very similar topic, with loads of responses.  You might find it helpful.

http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=70554.0

We emailed many times a day and spoke on Skype at least once a day. Fortunately he was 6 hours behind in time which wasn't too bad in terms of communication.  At weekends our skype conversations could go on for sometime and we would often speak about 3 times throughout the day 

We often went 6 months (sometimes longer) between visits so it was pretty important for both of us to communicate frequently.

Wow 1 or 2 X a day - oh man I never got to do that.

When we were doing LDR we sent emails randomly and when he was home we skyped or talked on the phone for a few hours a night every other night.  I had a job from 7am -3pm so I cant just  not work hahaha
I would sometimes record a short video and email it to him when he was at work since he was out there for 2 weeks and couldnt see me.
When we did talk on the phone every other night it was a few hours but everyday there is only so much ya know that isnt mundane (IMO). 
I didnt always do skype b/c then I couldnt do anything else while talking - sometimes he would call my cell and I would be grocery shopping lol

It was just a natural thing - he would call or I would call but we always got on with our day and normal duties.  I never stayed home because we needed to skype, as he would just call my cell. ;-)

(he works on an oil rig so no skype no way to call him when at work)

My BF was not technologically savvy, and owned a TRex of a computer anyway, so we didn't do Skype.  I bought calling cards and would call him every afternoon around 4 my time and 9 his time.  We would chat for about 30 minutes at the most and then I would have to get back to work or whatever else I might have been doing.  Of course, if either one of us had a night out or something, we would just skip it that day.  We would just text each other in that instance, but we kept that to a minimum because it was expensive.

I would also send an e-mail to him every night and he would send one to me in the morning, so that we always woke up with an e-mail from the other person.

That's really all we did, which isn't much compared to what a lot of other people do, but it was all we needed.  We both kept living our lives, which was important to both of us.

Oh God, activities on skype, contacting a couple of times a day, chatting for hours - sheesh! That would have driven me insane! When we first realised we might like/like each other we did the chat until 5am thing for awhile, but after we'd met and settled into a real relationship we had a much more normal contact pattern. I mean, if I was dating someone who lived near me I wouldn't spend 24/7 with them, why would I do that in an LDR? To be honest, how do you manage to live your life if you're doing all that?!

I had a job, and friends and was super busy with just being in my 20s!
We'd email back and forth and if we were both online then we'd chat online whilst doing other things.  We bought calling cards and skype credit (skype calling quality used to be AWFUL, does anyone remember that?!) so we could chat on weekends, but I never let it stop me from going to a party or hanging out with friends. I'd never want to stop him from doing those things either. I think it's really important that anyone you're in an LDR in is an addition to your life, not a subtracting. They should expand your world, not make it smaller.

I felt close because we were mentally close, I didn't feel the need to spend lots of actual time together to reinforce that. We didn't watch movies over skype for instance although I know a lot of people do.

Am I saying I never had that sudden LDR despair? Nope, I certainly did! But it was pretty rare and fleeting. Just if stuff went wrong here, I'd want to go have a hug and couldn't, so emails had to suffice

Skype, emails, cards and notes, he used to call me at 6 am to wake me up for work. AOL chat on my afternoon break.

We both kept living our lives, which was important to both of us. 

Yes to this & some of the stuff that CB said along the same lines!

Heck, it's been long enough ago - I had to really think about it! 

We e-mailed each other frequently - once a day when we first started writing & getting acquainted, then not as frequently as things progressed.  Saw each other in person every few months (gaps of 2-4 months).  Sent the occasional snail mail.  We had online 'chat dates' on the weekends - not necessarily every weekend, or alternatively, we'd have long phone conversations on the weekends (not hours & hours, but maybe 1-2 hours).  Most weekdays, he'd give me a ring just as he was going to bed & I was getting off work (5 hour time difference), and we'd have a quick 5-15 minute telephone conversation - but sometimes we skipped days too.

I think we'd have quickly got bored & run out of things to say if we spent hours every day on the phone or online - lol!  Plus we had lots of other things to get done in our lives.

In fact, once it looked pretty clear that I would be moving over here, I started going out more & spending even more good times with friends, visiting old & new favourite places, and all sorts of things like that - trying to cherish & be in the moment of my life there, since I knew I was going to be moving away and would not have all those opportunities again!

Oh God, activities on skype, contacting a couple of times a day, chatting for hours - sheesh! That would have driven me insane! When we first realised we might like/like each other we did the chat until 5am thing for awhile, but after we'd met and settled into a real relationship we had a much more normal contact pattern. I mean, if I was dating someone who lived near me I wouldn't spend 24/7 with them, why would I do that in an LDR? To be honest, how do you manage to live your life if you're doing all that?!

I had a job, and friends and was super busy with just being in my 20s!
We'd email back and forth and if we were both online then we'd chat online whilst doing other things.  We bought calling cards and skype credit (skype calling quality used to be AWFUL, does anyone remember that?!) so we could chat on weekends, but I never let it stop me from going to a party or hanging out with friends. I'd never want to stop him from doing those things either. I think it's really important that anyone you're in an LDR in is an addition to your life, not a subtracting. They should expand your world, not make it smaller.

I felt close because we were mentally close, I didn't feel the need to spend lots of actual time together to reinforce that. We didn't watch movies over skype for instance although I know a lot of people do.

Am I saying I never had that sudden LDR despair? Nope, I certainly did! But it was pretty rare and fleeting. Just if stuff went wrong here, I'd want to go have a hug and couldn't, so emails had to suffice

I think it is important to carry on doing things you would normally do as you say. And being in your 20's would certainly have an impact and you do need to enjoy life and not let the LDR take over it that's true. Although as we have seen here, what suits one couple may not suit another and I think the most important thing is that the communication is at a level that suits both people.

If one wants/needs more than the other then I think there may be big problems..

We were really lucky I think because of our relatively good time difference, we could chat on Skype for an hour when I got home from work (full-time) - as I would do I suppose if I was living with someone.... My husband cared full time for his parents and his lunch-time would be my tea-dinner time so we could chat after then.

I think settling into a pattern is also important, we did this and after a year or so we managed a good pattern that suited us both and whilst chatting a few times at weekend may seem a lot to some (especially people who are just growing into their 20s) to me and my chap (in our 40s/50s) it was lovely. It depends on the type of relationship, where you are up to with your life and what your needs are. However, as I said the important thing I believe is that you both need to be on the same page.

I noticed from your previous post LittleMiss Sarcasm that there were issues where he needed/wanted more contact than you felt you needed/wanted. That is where some difficulties can arise but I am sure with some compromise it can be worked out! Especially if you are meant to be together...


Edit...I meant to add...my LDR also helped me pursue my hobby pf photography and actually made me get out and get more of a life than I had previously... Sounds weird but true

We spoke several times every day, thanks to our VOIP phone. He would phone me on his way to work (which was lunchtime for me at work) and then again at his lunchtime (me finishing work!) and I would phone him when I was climbing into bed. Most nights I fell asleep with the phone to my ear. This probably seems like a lot to some of you, but it worked perfectly for us. 

We would send each other emails now and then, and often took photos of funny/interesting things we saw during our day to day lives so that it felt more like we were together. We did the watching the same film thing occasionally. And sent the odd snail mail.

I also had an active 20's social life, and was very busy fitting it all in at weekends! But it was worth it!

we bbm all day, from when i wake up to when he goes to sleep. we skype usually but with the time difference there is only 45 mins from him getting home from work and me leaving for work   skype is sh*t though, always blurry, weird echoing noises, lagging. ugh. and my blackberry is falling apart, but getting a phone other than a blackberry means no more bbm for us. 

My fiancée and I email each other all day, we play WordFeud (like Scrabble) on our phones and use the chat system in there, we sometimes talk on the phone during her lunch break (around 5pm here) and we Skype pretty much every night.  She gets home at around 11pm my time, so it's a good job I'm used to going to bed late

I agree with a lot of what CheeseBiscuit said.

As for me, personally, because were both military, communication wasn't always possible 24/7. There would be weeks when I wouldn't even hear from him due to his ship cutting communication from the rest of the world. We couldn't text each other as frequently, either, as there's no signal inside the ship. We did email as often as we could, text, MSN, and phone calls.

When I was at school in London, and he in Portsmouth, it was the same thing. Texting, emailing, and calling. We were usually able to see one another on the weekend, unless he had watch duties.

When he was deployed during the first part of our marriage we would email everyday, he would do his best to call me twice a day- but signal wasn't always possible, and again, communications would be cut off, sometimes texting if he was docked somewhere, and letters! lots of letters and cutesy drawings! Just as Cheesebiscuilt said, we both seem to be connected mentally as well.

Granted, I'm in a much different position than most, but communication is always always the key to maintaining a healthy relationship. It also helps that we're both very independent people.

We have been in touch every day, usually for hours ever night (time difference -8 hours here).  2 more days though and that's over forever