Interested in your thoughts - leash/harness for child

I've begun using them for my twins. I don't think they're lazy. I think they're a safety measure.

I find it insulting that wanting to keep your kids safe and secure next to you is 'lazy parenting'.

I had one child that did not comprehend safety or common sense either, she'd run off, didn't listen and I had two little ones in a double pram already to push. It was either that or stay home. This child is now 14 and still acts without thinking, it's her nature, but the now a harness is out of the question. Every child is different and responds to direction differently.

I have had a toddler bolt across the road into the path of my car before, and I was lucky to have had time to stop. That split second of distraction on the mother's part could have been a much worse outcome.

I never used one for my daughter because she always listened really well and was a more mellow child (she would barely leave my side so 'wondering off' was never a concern).  She's 7.5 now and she still holds my hand when we walk across the parking lot in our very small town.  Yes...I'm that mom.

However, I have one of the puppy dog backpack/harness thingies that has a 'rein' on it that I will most likely use for my son.  It's probably not something I would have bought but it was a gift and I'll probably use it.  I doubt it will be brought out for running into the grocery store but I could see where it would be useful for everyday activities if we were still in England (i.e. walking to and from school beside busy roads, walking around a busy town several times a week, etc.).  These are things that don't happen in my rural town or the city closeby because you have to drive everywhere so there aren't many pedestrians anywhere.  

I'll say that it's a lot harder to keep a close eye on more than one child...especially if they are all younger.  I went to the store with my 16-month-old niece, my 13-month-old son and my 3-year-old nephew, and I wish each one of them had a harness on.

I did find the harness things were much more "popular" in the UK.  But I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks when it comes to being extra cautious about the safety of my kids.  Even sensible adults have been hit by cars because of momentary distractions or lapses in judgement so I recognize that you can never be too safe.

My mom loves to tell the story of how when I first started walking, I would think it was hilarious to hide from her in stores/the mall. She and my grandmother lost me in the mall once, and the second they found me they went and got me a "leash." (Back then, it was one that went around my wrist.)

My little sister was a runner and would walk out in traffic without looking, so our mom used the leash on her too. She just Would. Not. Listen. (My sister is in her 20's and still doesn't always look before she crosses the road - she almost got run over when she was in London. She is very smart, but doesn't always have alot of street smarts.)

When I was a nanny, I would use them on kids if the parents had them. When I have kids of my own, I'll have no problem using one!

We used one briefly when my son was two..those little backpack type ones.... it took him two trips to the store and he just no longer needed one.  He listens and grasped the concept of not running off.  However all kids are different.  Period.  Just like certain feeding issues, religion and many other decisions it all depends on the kids and the parents.

I love them, they are cute and they have a purpose. If they keep your kid safe, good on ya. I don't like the ones that go on the wrist or that look like lederhosen, but if they keep your kids close to you, thats always good. I am lucky, my 18 month old likes to run away from me, but she is pretty happy in her pushchair for long periods of time so long as she has a dummy, but I would use one no problems.

That's great you have your opinion but not all children respond to the seriousness of what you are trying to teach them or even comprehend it. Some kids 'get' the idea of danger much earlier than others. My son is only somewhat developmentally delayed and even at 5 he's yet to understand how serious road safety is.

Besides, I'm not sure I even understand your analogy to animals. Keeping an animal on a leash keeps them safe. Ditto for kids.

I totally agree with you Balmerhon!

I find it insulting that wanting to keep your kids safe and secure next to you is 'lazy parenting'.

I also agree with you, Ashley!  I find it very insulting, as well.  My husband and I are not NOR have ever been lazy parents to either of our children, Thank You!  We might be guilty of being OVERLY protective, but never lazy! My oldest, who is 6 now, was excellent at listening to us...she would hold our hands when we told her to, but we liked the extra security we felt, especially with all the crowds of people around, with her physically being attached to either of us.  It only takes a few seconds for a child to let go of your hand and disappear.  My youngest is a great child as well, but is much more independent than her sister ever was, and this is a great way for her to have her independence, but we still have control.  She is not one who likes to be in pushchairs for long periods of time, and I don't blame her.

When I first remember seeing them, I could not for the life of me understand how you could do that to a child.  My view at that time was very much like WebyJ's; however, the older I get, the more they make sense to me.  I don't have children yet, but depending on the child, I wouldn't hesitate to use one to keep a quick kid safe.  Now, I'm only in my late 30's and I may have longer legs, but I've learned that once a child starts running (especially in a crowd)...good luck catching them.   

kbeaumont, so true!  I am almost 42 and definitely not as quick as I used to be.  While my 2 1/2 year old listens very well, she is very quick on her feet.  Much quicker than her old mum!   

There are certain instances where I don't like reins, and that is when I see parents JERK and DRAG their children around with them. So wrong! That is one thing my hubby and I never did.

When I first remember seeing them, I could not for the life of me understand how you could do that to a child.  My view at that time was very much like WebyJ's; however, the older I get, the more they make sense to me.  I don't have children yet, but depending on the child, I wouldn't hesitate to use one to keep a quick kid safe.  Now, I'm only in my late 30's and I may have longer legs, but I've learned that once a child starts running (especially in a crowd)...good luck catching them.   

Ditto!  I definitely used to think they were awful, but these days, I see them as a useful backup safety device.  Do I plan to insist that my son hold my hands at all times when walking along?  Absolutely.  But it only takes a split second for a little hand to wriggle away and with the drivers around here, I'll feel much safer with backup.

I think the only time I actually felt annoyed about someone having their child on a harness was when they were using the same exact leash on their child as they were on their dog.

I know, it shouldn't matter because it's still keeping the kid safe, but... come on!  At least get something that is meant for a child!

As a non-parents, my concern with the leads is getting "clothes-lined" by a parent and child walking as far apart as they can with the cord stretched between them and no easy way for me to walk around them.

and with the drivers around here

Key point

I've never used one. My daughter is 3 and something that we taught her at a very young age (when she was learning to walk) is that when we're out & about she MUST hold our hand....

While I agree that learning to not run off is a good skill, my daughter is just 13 months and learning lessons like that is rather difficult for her age. I would love to hear how you taught your daughter not to run off when she was learning to walk - tips?

While I agree that learning to not run off is a good skill, my daughter is just 13 months and learning lessons like that is rather difficult for her age. I would love to hear how you taught your daughter not to run off when she was learning to walk - tips?

When she was learning to walk we held both her hands and walked her all over the house, and when we went out we did the same thing. Yes, it's time consuming and a little hard on the back but it was well worth it and after she became more steady on her feet we just went to holding one of her hands. She learned that if she wants to go where there are people/traffic/cars that she must hold our hand or she doesn't go. We've also followed through on that with her on a few occaisions where we took her somewhere she wanted to go, such as a playcentre, and we got out of the car and she refused to hold hands to walk across the carpark to the building. She was promptly put back in the car and we went home.

The reason I called it 'lazy parenting' is that the way that we've gotten to this point has been more time consuming than just putting a leash on her and ignoring her as we went along. The reason I say that is because the people that I personally have observed using the harness/leash systems don't pay attention to their child and it was something that they used so they could just drag the kid along or ignore them while they're shopping. I lived in Derby and observed this mainly in City Centre which ironically is 99% Pedestrianised so the arguments about so they're safe from traffic really doesn't ring true. Also in the 32 years I've lived in California I've not seen a child being leashed.

I don't doubt that most will take offense to that and disagree with me...which seems to happen when I voice my opinions around here. But I covered that in another topic and will leave it at that.

Whatever choices you make for your child you have to make them and not worry about what other people think, because only you know your child best and know what they will respond to. Whatever you do someone will think you're wrong and you just have to let it roll off your back.

Best of luck to you with the move.