Where are all the 40- and 50-somethings?

Thanks. I just find it difficult to find a way to take the initiative in developing an opposite sex friendship without it being taken the wrong way. I do talk about my husband a lot anyway; I still wory about unintentionally giving mixed messages. I supose that has to do with my own insecurities.

I don't think my own husband would be bothered that much.

Kinda OT, cos I don't really have a problem making friends, but I am 48, and until recently was working a temp job in an office with a bunch of 20-somethings.  They were all (mostly) very nice people, but we just didn't connect in any way... music, clothes, films, TV, social life, etc... to say our tastes were different would be putting it mildly!

I moved to a permanent job a couple of months ago, and most of my team are my age or a wee bit older, and I'm finding it really refreshing!  Finally i am spending 8 hours a day with people that I have something in common with, and we understand each others references, have a real laugh, etc... it's great (even though the job is boring)!

And what about the 60's - 70's?? 
I won't even be working.  Does one have to fall back on church and Darby and Joan clubs?  I intend to do some art classes and things like that but will I be the oldest person there?

That's a tough one, BD.
Almost everyone I know, I know because I once worked with them!

The other people i am friends with, outside of my work/former work colleagues, are people I met in the pub, and this is my closest group of friends... because we all share a common interest - real ale.    We go on holiday together, see each other at the weekend, go to beer festivals together.

If I didn't have a job and go to the pub...  i probably wouldn't know a soul!   

T, I didn't know you changed jobs!  Or if I did, I forgot. 

BD, you'll be fine (I don't know what a Darby and Joan club is though). I mean you know some of us around hereabouts already - ok I'm not 60 or 70, yet, though...

HME isn't either but she participates in a community choir & used to be in a folk dancing group and there's lots of other stuff about.  There's a walking group that meets here in my town - I think it's every Wed or Thurs morning, which is mostly people in that age group.  Also I see lots of different different groups & clubs for various interests available in the little town events/calendar booklets we get through the mail slot from time to time - a lot seem to be geared towards people with the extra time on their hands... 

Most of my friends here I've either met through work, or through UK Yankee - across a wide range of ages, but that suits me fine!  To me it's more about if I have something in common with a person, than what age they are. 

T, I didn't know you changed jobs!  Or if I did, I forgot. 

I'm still in the bank, but I was taken on as permanent staff in Feb (after temping here for a year)... and with the permanent role came a change in department.

I'm still in the bank, but I was taken on as permanent staff in Feb (after temping here for a year)... and with the permanent role came a change in department.

Ah, gotcha.  Yay! 

I intend to do some art classes and things like that but will I be the oldest person there?

Definitely not! You'll be fine!

BD, you'll be fine (I don't know what a Darby and Joan club is though). I mean you know some of us around hereabouts already - ok I'm not 60 or 70, yet, though...

Darby and Joan clubs are (or were) social clubs for seniors -- sounds appalling 
Thing is you don't really want to be with a bunch of "old" people but on the other hand you don't want to feel like you're the old fogey in the group either. I've always had a lot of younger friends/acquaintances but usually it was through work so you had something in common. And I've had friends who were older too. DH is basically anti-social but does go for coffee/dinner occasionally with former colleagues and wives -- who are perfectly nice but probably not really going to be my friends. And our best friends are in Herts.
And all you young UKY things will have jobs -- or be busy with families.
So you do wonder if you'll be left twiddling your thumbs ... 

And all you young UKY things will have jobs...

Bless you for calling me a 'young' UKY thing.    Ha ha!

Honestly, I think you'll be just fine.  There are clubby things about here (like the walking group I mentioned) & I think retired folks are just a lot more active now - with lots of varied interests - than may have been the case in the past.  I definitely don't think you'll be the oldest there.

For instance, my in-laws (who are in Norwich) are both 70-something but so active - in their case, mainly with their gym friends of similar ages - they all met at the gym! And so it started there, and they all get together a lot socially now as well - not just at the gym.  Now I'm just using that as an example, but I'm sure you'll find something that interests you to be involved with & you won't be left twiddling your thumbs & you won't be the oldest person there.  You are overthinking this! 

Who knows?  Maybe I'll try starting a book group again, starting small.  I have some other ideas for things I want to do - but on the back burner now, until we get our house done up.

Darby and Joan clubs are (or were) social clubs for seniors -- sounds appalling 
Thing is you don't really want to be with a bunch of "old" people but on the other hand you don't want to feel like you're the old fogey in the group either.

I'm sure you'll find the right fit. I belong to three book clubs - age range from about 38 to 70. And I go to NADFAS - our group has an age range of about 30 to 80. Also, don't rule out the W.I. Ours has a couple of members in their 20s, although the average age is older than that. I find that people mix with all ages, and I think that's great!

Hmmm, NADFAS sounds like my sort of thing. Thanks for the suggestions, all.

There's loads going on here for people of all ages (just a short walk for you) http://www.heartcentre.org.uk/. And they're always looking for volunteers to do a few hours on reception as well.

I had a similar issue until I joined a local traditional music organisation and started up playing the fiddle again. Now, a few years later, I have a fun group of like-minded friends of my age (44) and on up, I play in two ceilidh bands, and my social life here has improved enormously. Before that I had to make do with the wives of my husband's friends. They're nice, just not on my wavelength.

So if you have an interest or hobby, find people interested in those things too and chances are good you'll start making friends.

I had a similar issue until I joined a local traditional music organisation and started up playing the fiddle again. Now, a few years later, I have a fun group of like-minded friends of my age (44) and on up, I play in two ceilidh bands, and my social life here has improved enormously. Before that I had to make do with the wives of my husband's friends. They're nice, just not on my wavelength.

So if you have an interest or hobby, find people interested in those things too and chances are good you'll start making friends.

Your life sounds a bit like mine, brin!

There's loads going on here for people of all ages (just a short walk for you) http://www.heartcentre.org.uk/. And they're always looking for volunteers to do a few hours on reception as well.

HEART is an terrific place!