newly pregnant and terrified

Hello,

I appreciate any experience you've had that can help me.

A brief background-- I moved to the UK in 2009 after marrying my husband, had a job for two years and recently left it for a better opportunity.  I was let go on my 18th day, long story, real jerks.  Anyhoo.  I find myself unemployed and, after trying for a year and a half, pregnant!  (if you know me, SHHHHH, have not told my family yet!)

I am worried because my husband does not earn much.  I did not have redundancy insurance because I just got ILR, and cannot get jobseekers because I did not work for two tax years.

I wish I could be excited to finally have a positive test (fully understanding we are in early days).  But this is not according to plan!  I can't believe I am pregnant and looking for a job!

Has anyone interviewed or obtained employment while pregnant?  Any tips would be wonderful!

In addition, I have been homesick for two years, and am now feeling it much more.  I feel like I am doing this all on my own.  My husband's family is nice, they live over an hour away, but they are emotionally stunted, if you know what I mean.  I miss my loving close family.  Has anyone been pregnant here, far away from everyone, and done it on your own?  Because I worked from home for two years and now don't have a job, I find it difficult to meet people.  (I am not in central London, but in a suburb of Greater London).

And finally, I am terrified to be doing this on the NHS.  Has anyone had a baby on the NHS?  I should have specialist care due to an underactive thyroid, but they are already delaying on my first appointment.  I don't trust them.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Gosh, there's no need to be terrified of the NHS. It's not good for you or your baby to be. And millions of women have had perfectly fine experiences having a baby in the UK, many of them on this very forum. Just relax and take it one day at a time.

First of, congratulations! Its very exciting for you guys, don't be scared. Its a natural reaction of course, but you need to start feeling positive about it! its a baby!!! And kids are AWESOME!!! AWESOME!!! I can say this now because we are 45 minutes away from bedtime! I have had 2 kids on the NHS and have had wonderful experiences with both, don't be scared of that! As for the financial issues, well, my opion is that you will make it work, why? Because you will have to!

Good luck!!

Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy.    I agree with the others; try not to panic and take it one day at a time.

I didn't have a baby in England but when I finally got pregnant with my firstborn (after several miscarriages) my husband had quit his job with nothing to go to and we were renting a one bedroom apartment, having spent most of our savings on a big six week summer holiday together.  Sometimes there seems to be a Murphy's Law about these things - best laid plans and all that. 

Congrats!  It's only natural to feel a bit insecure about the future when you're pregnant and I can definitely relate to a) missing the support of my family and b) being wary of the NHS at first.  I can't comment too much on actually having a baby in the UK because I'm not due until December (99 days til EDD!) however I LOVE my midwife and my GP's office.  And you get free dental care and prescriptions while you're pregnant which is definitely a plus.  You just need to find a midwife or GP you feel comfortable with and you'll be absolutely fine.

I lived here for roughly 7 months before getting pregnant and I was only a little homesick.  Yet since then it got a lot worse because I missed my mom and sister and also was craving mostly American foods!  But I went home for 2 weeks at about 5 months and it was wonderful.  I also try and talk to my family at home on skype regularly.  I love my husband's family but he's not close to his sister or dad and I really miss having a large supportive family.

I should add that our finances have been pretty unstable for some time now, due to my husband being self-employed.  Yet he decided to go full time again and things are slowly improving.  It's frustrating to worry about affording a baby but I know we'll do the best we can and really love is the most important thing you can give a child. (also freecycle often has lots of gently used baby stuff!)

Good luck and keep us updated!

Congratulations!  It's natural to be nervous in the beginning of pregnancy- it's a very new and scary time.  I have (thus far) had a wonderful experience with the NHS, and everyone I've seen has been very helpful.  They were a bit unsure of my dates, and my scan was rescheduled that day for a closer appointment.  My friends here all seem to have good experiences too, so I would think positively. 

I have a friend that is 8 weeks ahead of me and she got a job when she was newly pregnant, so it isn't impossible. 

Try and relax, this is all new to you, so be kind to yourself and try and enjoy the journey as much as you can. 

I'm another who had a pregnancy that caught her off guard. Our son will be two in December, but I got pregnant while working as a supply teacher, and while I had the work at the time, shortly after having the baby, I had nothing (work-wise) for just over 12 months (counting the 9 off for maternity). Still, we made it work...and still make it work.

Up until last week I was out of work for the summer even so just on hubby's wages and while he earns a decent amount for a single person, we still need the help of child tax credits, working tax credits and child benefit -- all of which your hubby will be entitled to as a British Citizen, so make sure he applies!

Also, in addition to getting the free prescriptions whilst pregnant and free dental...this continues after the little one is born until they are 12 months of age (at least in my case it did -- not sure if anything has changed). If you happen to still be out of work at the time baby is born and your hubby qualifies for the tax credits...depending on your income you may also qualify for an exemption card, which means prescriptions, dental and even eye care will be free/reduced and they send you a card to use as proof <-- so keep that in mind.

I had my son via emergency c-section on the NHS (Dec 2009) and have not one complaint as far as the birth was concerned. I went into labour naturally and then little man decided to be stubborn (back-to-back) which resulted in the section. I healed fine and was never in any pain. The midwives and staff, in my case, were brilliant and very positive, so honestly...try not to worry.

I was also consult-led care (for being a fatty in my case...high BMI) so it just meant I had some extra visits where they had to monitor my bloodwork, etc. But nothing extreme.

When are you due?

Hi I had my daughter here in the uk just last year the nhs has been okay. I found
The midwives very helPful in hospital best of luck