Does it ever go away?

The UKBA makes me feel like a criminal, even though I've done nothing wrong.  We haven't applied for our fiance visa yet, but will be soon... and even now I feel like a criminal, as if we're all guilty of sham marriages until proven innocent.  They put out so much material warding off offenders, and put up a lot of hoops to jump through to weed out those who are faking their marriages, implying only those really in love will empty their bank accounts and go through the tremendous stress of it all. 

Trust me, we're not faking our engagement... but the UKBA sure knows how to make me panic... Then again I tend to worry a lot.  Like, I worry I'll get a thick IO who will interpret things incorrectly or won't look at everything thoroughly.  I worry about the fact they want all records of my TRAFFIC violations?!  What if it holds me up?

I just feel like they always want an eye on us immigrants all the time... they want to make everything harder for us, for some sort of Darwinian effect I'm sure.

So....

Does it ever go away?  The feeling that the UKBA is constantly watching your every move?  Even though you've been granted a visa or an FLR or ILR... do you ever really feel like you can breathe easy? 

On a slightly different note...

I'm anticipating I'll spend my first few months in the UK in a subconscious state of anxiety because it'll feel so natural to have to get on a plane and go back to the States... but obviously I won't be leaving!

Did this happen to anyone?  Did you just feel for the longest time that you might have to convince yourself you're there for the long haul?


Just stuff running through my head tonight...!!  Just wanted to get it out on "paper" and see if anyone feels the same 

I worry I'll get a thick IO

They don't let thick people do IO jobs.

That feeling subsided quite a lot when I got my indefinite leave to remain back in 2004.  And it went away completely after I became a dual US/UK citizen.  Good luck with your journey.

I've never felt victimised or bullied or even unfairly scrutinized by the UKBA.  I understand why they make us "jump through hoops" and I actually appreciate the extra checks they often make to ensure a person should be granted the privilege (remember it is a privilege, not a right) of living in the UK.  "They" don't want to make anything harder on "us"... they just want to make sure the system isnt being abused.  The "us v. them" mentality is one I would suggest you don't hold on to for very long.

That feeling subsided quite a lot when I got my indefinite leave to remain back in 2004.  And it went away completely after I became a dual US/UK citizen.  Good luck with your journey.

This! Though for me, it wasn't the feelings of victimisation, but more the fear that they could change the rules at any point and make my life a misery (which they'd already done to me once!). I relaxed a LOT when I got my red passport.

Agreed with LBA and Squirrellypoo.  I felt better after ILR and better yet after citizenship.  Although I also agree with Mirrajay in that I never really felt like UKBA hated me.  It was really just the uncertainty and feelings of foreign-ness, which have dissipated almost completely now I'm a UK citizen.

Gosh, I can't wait until that ILR moment comes, whenever that will be. It will be so nice to be able to breathe a little!

I'm between ILR and citizenship...HUGE sigh of relief.

It's hard not to worry, especially if people have been "caught out" by immigration officers in the past.

But its not immigration officers who scare me, its that on a temporary visa, they decide to change the rules,and I don't have human rights to fall back on, moving me isn't seperating families, and I will be forced to give up a life I love when my visa expires next year. 

We're getting ready to apply for my boyfriend's UP visa, so I can understand how you are feeling.  I know that we qualify perfectly, and so you would think we should be perfectly relaxed.  But we constantly worry about whether we have enough documents, and whether it will convince them of our relationship etc.

I think part of what makes it difficult is the lack of communication with UKBA.  You can't just phone them and ask what they mean by "evidence of accommodation" etc.  Sure, there is the website, but I feel like it's not very informative and difficult to navigate, especially since they revised it and took away the pdf of required supporting documents.  That's why this forum is such a lifeline - I doubt we would get the visa if we didn't do any research here.

The whole thing with the new family visa proposals is scary and unsettling too.  I feel so frustrated that couples/families don't have a voice.  I haven't seen any media reporting on the family migration consultation that has presented an opposing argument - any reports I have seen have just repeated the government's proposals and the motivation behind them.  As a British person, I wish other Brits would see that some of these proposals are taking away THEIR rights, not just the rights of immigrants.  The fact that it is/will be so much easier and cheaper for an EEA national to bring their non-EEA spouse to live in the UK is laughable.  We just want to get on with our lives: settle, buy a house etc.  But being on probation for five years, and paying exorbitant visa fees - it just feels like they are skeptical of us, like they assume we are here to take advantage of the welfare system, and that we have to prove ourselves to be of good character to be allowed to stay. 

The UKBA makes me feel like a criminal, even though I've done nothing wrong.  We haven't applied for our fiance visa yet, but will be soon... and even now I feel like a criminal, as if we're all guilty of sham marriages until proven innocent.  They put out so much material warding off offenders, and put up a lot of hoops to jump through to weed out those who are faking their marriages, implying only those really in love will empty their bank accounts and go through the tremendous stress of it all. 

Trust me, we're not faking our engagement... but the UKBA sure knows how to make me panic... Then again I tend to worry a lot.  Like, I worry I'll get a thick IO who will interpret things incorrectly or won't look at everything thoroughly.  I worry about the fact they want all records of my TRAFFIC violations?!  What if it holds me up?

I just feel like they always want an eye on us immigrants all the time... they want to make everything harder for us, for some sort of Darwinian effect I'm sure.

So....

Does it ever go away?  The feeling that the UKBA is constantly watching your every move?  Even though you've been granted a visa or an FLR or ILR... do you ever really feel like you can breathe easy? 

On a slightly different note...

I'm anticipating I'll spend my first few months in the UK in a subconscious state of anxiety because it'll feel so natural to have to get on a plane and go back to the States... but obviously I won't be leaving!

Did this happen to anyone?  Did you just feel for the longest time that you might have to convince yourself you're there for the long haul?


Just stuff running through my head tonight...!!  Just wanted to get it out on "paper" and see if anyone feels the same 

I have had similar feelings from the very onset. I am glad you expressed your thoughts. I am worried about so many more things than UKBA and unless they inform me directly, I'll be too busy surviving when I first get there that I won't notice them or changes! It is hard to believe but this is all easy for some people and some folks just aren't worried about doing everything perfect! Some people like hoop-jumping, some people's physical safety and well-being aren't always on the line and as you probably have seen, some are bum kissers and/or masochists. (: I've learned in a short time in getting my visa, that it is so easy to over think and worry. Just the application can be exhausting but you have to focus and keep it simple. At first I read way too much into it and then I got a grip and shook some sense into myself! (That is no easy task right there!).

Please do feel that you can express your feelings. Next thing you know, you will be across the line that divides paranoid to confident and even smug! Hahaha!

We can take deep breaths together!

On a different note from all the other replies...I completely understand what you mean about once you finally move trying to convince yourself that you're here to stay!! I was so used to looking up whenever a plane went by and going shoot I have to leave soon, and always dreading the time to say goodbye! Also, not having a return date to the US is so weird!! I just booked my flights to visit over christmas and it is a very odd feeling to be booking round trip LHR! I love it though

 I'm not quite as far along as you in the visa process--i'm only here doing my masters for now and as they have gotten rid of the post study work visa i'm waiting and waiting to find out what the new rules will be, and find out if I can stay here with my boyfriend! I hate not knowing what obstacles will be thrown in my way and I hate feeling like I can't just date my boyfriend without the constant worry that we would be "forced" to marry or seperate. I'm sure he's the one but geez it would be nice to have a little less pressure!!!

Thanks everyone for your input!! 

I know somewhere in my heart and mind that I don't need to worry too much about the UKBA, but it's so hard not to when they technically hold my future in their hands.  And we are at another very critical point on the immigration roller coaster... things are very likely to get more difficult for families, and work permits are almost laughable they're so difficult to get.  So, the UKBA holding my future in their hands NOW is critical... because if they refuse me, by the time I reapply or appeal, rules will probably have changed and fees will have gone up.  AND, there will probably be even more limited options for the prospective immigrant. 

After thinking about it, my feeling like a "criminal" probably really stems from an IO at Heathrow treating me like one when I was visiting my boyfriend last October.  Rude wasn't the word I would use to describe her, it doesn't do her justice!  Also, I was offered a job in Yorkshire back in December on a tier 2, and right when we thought I was going to apply for my visa and get ready to move (end of January), my agency (who got me the job) calls me up and says the school district had no more certificates to administer for tier 2s.  Which didn't make sense, but it was in the midst of all the new tiered visa rulings.  I just felt like I've been kicked around a bit with the visa business and with IOs...

However, I know in my heart we'll get through with this fiance visa just fine... we qualify perfectly, so it shouldn't be an issue.  But, I'll still worry

We can take deep breaths together!

Thanks!   I'm taking lots of deep breaths! 

And, we're completing the online portion of my application tonight and tomorrow... so fingers crossed we have everything and it all goes smoothly!

I felt better once its off in the mail... I think its mostly in your head (or mine). Nothing against the UKBA but I almost went out and bought a fireproof box for my application because i didn't want to worry about my apartment burning down...lol I don't have anything to hide and will do my best to include everything so....its all I can do.

Danny

I did keep all my supporting documents in a fireproof box.