i'm sniffing institutional discrimination....

Hubby I have never understood the backlash when those who have historically suffered great persecution sense injustice. Even if it's a tad bit paranoid. Stay vigilant. Question sh*t.

i agree completely with you. thank you for your support.

I won't comment on the visa application aspect but this is totally true. Majorities never will understand it and some even perpetuate and thrive on backlash. It destroyed the women's movement before even even got up speed.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UNDERSTANDING--I don't feel like i'm being jumped on anymore thanks so much. it's true about women's movement and our other movements. let's unite! 

i guess this is my general reply to everything:

i cannot even begin to thank you  for the encouragement and the support i got from the recent posts. if it wasn't for these posts i would have closed my account today.

this maybe a little bit too much info but:
this is not the only stress i have. i am graduating in the university coming december so i have to finish 5 classes as good as i possibly can.
my parents, from what they know, are in total disagreement with me moving to UK....there is other information i need to disclose to them when i get to the UK
no one is supporting me here. im alone by myself most of the time. my practical day is this: work, school, talk to partner, sleep, bathroom. (repeat cyle)

i am sleep deprived, over schooled, socially deprived--i have too much going on!!!!, over worked--so if i'm not in the best mood, i'm sure one can understand--therefore i truly do not want anymore negative comments about this post cos it is not needed or desired. so if you're just going to say something dumb, keep it to yourself

xxxxxx

Hiya HubbyMister, just a few points of advice from a gay man who has traversed the system successfully.  First, try to reduce your stress as much as possible, whether that be taking a day for yourself or just prioritizing things so that you deal with the most stressfull things first - this will help you focus on the immigration process and will help reduce any mistakes.  Second, remember that your family do love you and they might see this as some whim, so they're concerned for what's best for you.  I had my partner meet my mom before we broke the news that we were going to get partnered and me move to the UK after only having known each other for a total of 5 months.  Tons of people asked me if I knew what I was doing, but only because they wanted to make sure I was making the right decision.  Three years later they all know that it was!
As a fellow "queer", "homo", "gay man" let me share my views on homophobia: I grew up in Alabama and it doesn't get much worse than living there.  Here in the UK you will find a MUCH more accepting attitude than in the States. 

Hubby I have never understood the backlash when those who have historically suffered great persecution sense injustice. Even if it's a tad bit paranoid. Stay vigilant. Question sh*t.

Yes, homosexuals have suffered great persecution, however perceptions can be very skewed.  If there is no basis for assuming someone will discriminate against you, give them the benefit of the doubt.  What I'm trying to say is this: don't assume everyone is out to get you just because you're gay.  Trust me, they're not.  As long as you come across as confident, not arrogant, and friendly, not fake, people will respect you.

I wish you the best of luck with your applications.  Once you're with your partner it will all be worth the frustration and just think of the advice you will be able to give future UK Yankee posters on what not to do!

Hi firstly let me assure you that you are not been discriminated against.  The ECO has very kindly written to you and given you a second chance to provide the documents they could have rejected it outright and you would have had to pay again.

That said as a family member of someone who is going through the process right now I do understand how stressful it is very and if you are facing this alone it is daunting at best.

You need to provide the following
You

Six months of bank statements if you have a bank account
six months of payslips if you are employed
biometrics data
passport photo
passport

Partner (or sponsor)

six months of bank statements
six months of pay slips
letter from his employer or his work contract should suffice
Accommodation although you provided a letter from your inlaws you also need to provide either a tenancy agreement, mortgage document or land registry document to prove they either own or rent the property and that it wont be overcrowded if you join them there.
Marriage or CP certificate.
Your hubby's british passport
All these or required.
Your hubby or partner should send a letter saying he is sponsoring your application as well.

You could also write a cover letter explaining anything that isn't clear to the ECO's.

Also but not necessary you could send a few photo's and emails and letters if you have been apart a long time after you have married or CP.

Hope this helps love pads, this forum is a great resource and I have never met a nicer bunch of guys and girls happy to help, and keep the pain of this process to a minimum.

Good luck with your application keep us informed love pads x

i am sleep deprived, over schooled, socially deprived--i have too much going on!!!!, over worked--so if i'm not in the best mood, i'm sure one can understand--therefore i truly do not want anymore negative comments about this post cos it is not needed or desired. so if you're just going to say something dumb, keep it to yourself

As a moderator here, I'd first like to welcome you. Immigration is no fun for anyone, that's why we're here.

However, I will remind you that this is an open, public forum. You cannot control what kind of replies you receive. Telling people not to post 'something dumb' is not going to earn you any friends here. I'd suggest you carefully consider what you have written before hitting the 'post' button and I ALWAYS encourage everyone else to do the same.

Let's all remember, again, that there are real people behind all these user names.

Thanks.

Unhelpful snarkiness has been removed. You were warned.

What is really hard to take is folks pulling "their card". Whether it's the race card the sexuality card or whatever card people pull out when things don't go their way. Sounds like a lot of whining to me.
 Pull up the big boy underpants and get over it.

What is really hard to take is folks pulling "their card". Whether it's the race card the sexuality card or whatever card people pull out when things don't go their way. Sounds like a lot of whining to me.
 Pull up the big boy underpants and get over it.

NOTE:  The thread has been heavily amended by moderators and I don't think its current content reflects a balanced view of people's reaction.

Whether it's the race card the sexuality card or whatever card people pull out when things don't go their way.

Race variation in jail sentences, study suggests:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/law/2011/nov/25/ethnic-variations-jail-sentences-study?newsfeed=true

Because these things still exist.

Sure, I don't dispute that "these things do exist" but so do those individuals who pull the cards to try and bully others. Being a white American and living in the Southwest I've had to defend myself against everything from the smallpox on the blankets given to the Natives clear on thru Slavery and my choice of political affiliation. I have been told I was racist because I wouldn't let a lady cut in front of me in line last Christmas. I am not racist and the idea of not letting a person cut in front of me in line strictly because she was black is laughable. I can't tell you how sickening it is to hear how the white man is responsible for everything bad or wrong in someone's life. I can't get a job so I'll blame the White man, or how about I can't get a job because those "Mexicans" have taken all the jobs. I don't blame the white man, the black man, the yellow man or the brown man. I take responsibility for my own actions and words.

NOTE:  The thread has been heavily amended by moderators and I don't think its current content reflects a balanced view of people's reaction.

Posts that were ridiculing the OP were removed and I agree with their removal as they violate the forum agreement. No one would like to be the target of such posts and it won't be tolerated. I'll hope that people can be polite and helpful if they wish not to be moderated.

Not disputed. 

The point being that people may read the thread and think that it reflects an accurate and balanced view. 

Meanwhile I wonder how the OP is getting along and how things will turn out for him.

I have been told I was racist because I wouldn't let a lady cut in front of me in line last Christmas.

There is a difference here. Individual bigotry is bad - either way. It is also darned hard to correct as it is often reinforced at a very young age and becomes part of the individual. The lady you mention was probably brought up in an environment establishing and reinforcing that she was "owed" something. Given that slavery and segregation did exist, it is understandable, even if misplaced.

Institutional discrimination/racism is a different animal. A rude lady expecting favoritism creates hard feelings and harms civility, but she is an individual. Systemic racism affects an entire race of people.