I am more than my nationality

Would that have been so bad? I mean, you are American!  

I fully understand the "I am more than my nationality" grievance raised in this thread but, in this instance, it was an exercise specifically about nationality. I'd have thought it would have been a perfect opportunity to introduce your friends to good American music and food!

Nah, wouldn't have been too bad, but I'm Irish music-obsessed.    I couldn't think of anything particularly American food-wise that was vegetarian and interesting enough, but then I didn't try very hard, either.

Also, it wasn't necessarily about our *own* nationalities as the lady doing French medieval music isn't French. 

it's my birthday and she posts on my facebook, 'Happy birthday ya dirty yank xx'

Classy.....maybe its time to make some new friends

I can totally understand Mandyboo's frustrations. I have lived in the UK for 12 years now and have had quite a few negative things said to me -just- because I'm American. I have a really thick southern drawl (being from TN) which has not done me any favours in boosting my self-confidence.
Nevertheless, when I encounter the negative people, I look at the situation as an opportunity to come up with really good witty comebacks;)

Examples:

'Why did you start the war in Iraq. It's your fault.'
My answer: "Actually, I didn't vote for the guy nor was given the chance to vote for or against the war."
'You're from Tennessee? Have you been to Graceland to see Elvis?'
My answer: "Actually, I think Elvis is still considered to be dead."
'Why is it that all Americans are fat?'
My answer: (I'm overweight myself btw) "Our food tastes better."

And the one question I get asked time and time again, even after explaining that my husband is British:
'Why are you here?'
My answer: "To make this country better."

As expats, we have to deal with a constant flux of culture changes, adjustments and shock and along the way there will be encounters with others that can make living the expat life difficult. However, don't let the comments of those that don't understand or not willing to understand get you down. Why? Because, as an expat you left by choice, your home country. You chose to to take the path, endure the struggle of moving countries, changing cultures and adapting to a life that some would not even consider doing.
More than likely, as a expat your choice was based due to relationship, family, or work and you left your home country to be in this country. Having to deal with the Home Office, shedding tears as your pockets run dry due to application fees... all adds up to no small feat!
So, the next time someone says negative things about whatever nationality you are just tell the person: "Would you have what it takes to do what I've done to get here? I realise you don't know the struggles I have had to deal with in order to be in this country. So, I won't hold it against you as I do reside in this wonderful tolerant society of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."

And then just watch their jaw drop.

I'm proud to be American, nothing will ever change that. I've lived in the UK long enough to take British humour on the chin and have learned to beat them at their own game. Use that American Ingunity for the Brits haven't figured that one out yet;-p (jk!)

Kind Regards

This was touched upon in the Typical American thread, but personally, I don't think this is the best approach to take.     Witty comebacks may shut people up (not to mention being cathartic after enduring one too many similar remarks), but I don't think they'll actually do anything constructive to change our image.

I would think saying things like "Our food tastes better" and "To make this country better" would only reinforce negative stereotypes about Americans, and if someone walks away and tells their friends about it, it'll perpetuate the very image we are trying to change.

If I were to say something like that, it would be with a group of close friends who know me, and more often than not accompanied with a very cheeky grin.

This was touched upon in the Typical American thread, but personally, I don't think this is the best approach to take.    Witty comebacks may shut people up (not to mention being cathartic after enduring one too many similar remarks), but I don't think they'll actually do anything constructive to change our image.

I would think saying things like "Our food tastes better" and "To make this country better" would only reinforce negative stereotypes about Americans, and if someone walks away and tells their friends about it, it'll perpetuate the very image we are trying to change.

Thanks Aquila... I just logged on to say almost exactly this.
Asadora (welcome back to the forum, btw...), as mentioned in the other thread, displaying this type of attitude doesn't do you any favours/make you look better, and just keeps the stereotype going, which makes it harder on your fellow US expats.

And are you totally 100% genuinely and truthfully telling us that someone actually said to you: 'you started the war.  It's your fault.'  

I don't think people who ask these questions are going to really be swayed. 

Thanks Aquila... I just logged on to say almost exactly this.
Asadora (welcome back to the forum, btw...), as mentioned in the other thread, displaying this type of attitude doesn't do you any favours/make you look better, and just keeps the stereotype going, which makes it harder on your fellow US expats.

And are you totally 100% genuinely and truthfully telling us that someone actually said to you: 'you started the war.  It's your fault.'  

Yes, 100% sure.

We were living in Oxfordshire at the time and went to a local carboot near Witney.
We were standing in the line waiting for the gates to open. Well, the line started to move but the people in front of us weren't actually in line (we asked) and they said 'go ahead', making a wave of their hand gesture.
So, we go walk ahead. This guy who was standing behind us, heard me talking to my husband, as I told him, 'Oh this is exciting!'
So the same guy just yells, 'That's right, go right on ahead, just like how you bombed Iraq!'
I stopped my paces and just bit my lip. I said nothing. We just kept on walking.
I suppose the guy didn't actually here the people in front of us saying for us to go ahead.
Anyway, I was so upset after that, went back to the car to wait on my husband.
I heard a ticking in the car. We had an American air freshener hanging off the mirror.
My mind got the best of me and once the ticking kept on, I thought someone saw the air freshener and put a bomb under our car because I was American.
I called the Husband, he came back to the car. I told him. He heard the ticking as well.
He called the RAC. Come to find out it was the imboliser.

So, yes, I am 100% SURE that happened, because I will never forget how utterly embarrassed I was.

Kind Regards;)

Edit: I forgot to say!

We really enjoyed going to carboots a lot back then. So, it gave me a chance to set a lot of the southern part of the country. Anyway, a few weeks after the previous encounter, we were in a carboot in Wiltshire. My husband and I was talking to one of the carbooters about an item they had. I can't remember what it was now, something that my husband was going to flog on eBay.
So, this guy who was a family member of the seller was a bit brash. He started conversation with my husband and I heard my husband say, 'Yes, my wife is American.' Then guy takes a side step to me and say, 'So, it is your fault then. You started the war.'

At the time it really affected me, but I knew if I had said anything back to him, then I would have ended up proving his point.. or something. I was young then. Not so young now, which helps me realise that actually, I am too old to care about what other people think or say anymore;)
So getting older does have it's benefits.
Kind Regards!

I don't think people who ask these questions are going to really be swayed. 

Of course they wont, but is -that- what is important?
What is important is how -you- feel, and if saying something witty or 'typically American' serves that purpose then go for it. We all have different strokes in which we keep at bay, these so very very different folks!

Kind Regards

So the same guy just yells, 'That's right, go right on ahead, just like how you bombed Iraq!'

I'm pretty sure that was intended as a joke, not an attack against you as an American. You may not have taken it that way and perhaps his words weren't very considered, but I can tell you it was a joke.

I think a lot of what Americans see as insults are actually just a bit of playful ribbing.

This was touched upon in the Typical American thread, but personally, I don't think this is the best approach to take.     Witty comebacks may shut people up (not to mention being cathartic after enduring one too many similar remarks), but I don't think they'll actually do anything constructive to change our image.

I would think saying things like "Our food tastes better" and "To make this country better" would only reinforce negative stereotypes about Americans, and if someone walks away and tells their friends about it, it'll perpetuate the very image we are trying to change.

If I were to say something like that, it would be with a group of close friends who know me, and more often than not accompanied with a very cheeky grin.

Mmm, I believe that perhaps my humour got lost in my post somewhere... because I was trying to show in my post the demonstration of: If you can beat them, join them.
The Brits have a different approach to humour and taking the piss and they appericate dry wit. So in turn, I share my wit with them and after stating to them how long I've lived here, I actually get a pat on the back.
It's all in the delivery, keep the tone always pleasant strangers becomes friends that way.

Kind Regards;)

I'm pretty sure that was intended as a joke, not an attack against you as an American. You may not have taken it that way and perhaps his words weren't very considered, but I can tell you it was a joke.

I think a lot of what Americans see as insults are actually just a bit of playful ribbing.

Yes, after so many years of living here, I realise that -now- it was a joke from that guy. However, at the -time- and I was still fresh to the country, it wasn't a joke.

Even ignorant encounters are often learning experiences.

Kind Regards

Asadora, I thought your comebacks were funny!

I also sometimes like to use edgy humour in those situations.

I get can get a bit snarky when people get snarky with me.

(Oh, and just so ya know, I am the person who has been mentioned above, the one they said was on another thread. The one that had shared that I had made similar sorts of humorous comments...  when I have come across really mean people. I was told the same thing, by the same people - They shared their view that by my doing that, I am perpetuating the negative stereotypes of all of America - Or something like that.)

I mean, I feel like, if people can make a "jokey" and unfunny 'you bombed a country' comment (or whatever is said), then it is fair play that I can respond in a like manner. With equal snark.

But, at the same time, I do totally understand that when I do it, in some peoples opinions, I am taking a social and maybe even a political risk, that could, in some peoples minds, reflect on a much larger group of people.

But, if anyone assumes that I represent anyone but myself, then that is their stupidity. One American is no more 'All of America' than one Italian is 'All of Italy.' That is a completely ignorant concept. I'm not responsible for the personal views of ignorant people. They are. Those are THEIR views.

The thing is, no matter what anyone thinks, or says, I am not that large group of people, I am just me.

Which is sort of the running theme of this entire thread, right?

We do not like people making us out to be 'all of America.' It does not feel right, and it is irrational.

With respect: The same thing goes for Americans telling me that I am, like it or not, 'an ambassador for America' when I am outside the country... Because that is actually the same mindset we are rejecting from non-Americans, who think that we are 'representative of all Americans', just because we are American!   

Does that make sense? I am not trying to pick a fight, and everyone has their views, and each person behaves/reacts/responds/represents/rejects as they wish too. And I am cool with that - We can all be different. Because, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT.

No ONE PERSON is EVER representative of ALL of America. It is impossible. America is far too diverse for that! Individual humans are far too diverse. No ONE person could possibly be the religious, political, cultural, (I could go on, but I will leave it at that) representative of ANY entire country.

Which is also kind of the running theme of this thread, right?

(I sooo know I am going to be publicly 'messed with', as usual, for any opinion I share on this board - by the same 4 people who always seem to feel the need to nitpick everything that I post, but, whatever. Because, actually... I love the special attention they give me! LOL!)

Anyway... I'm just saying, we, as individuals, each either feel we DO represent 'all of America' or we feel we each feel we do NOT 'represent all of America.' 

I personally do not feel that I EVER represent ALL of America. End of. Personally, I totally and completely reject the role of 'American Ambassador.'

I'm simply not qualified for it. And I never applied for it, or signed up for it.

I am not actually responsible for what people think of an entire group of people miles and miles away... Just like the person making the 'bomb comment' is not a personal representative of all of the UK, right?

So, anyway... sometimes I just get fed-up, and I say snarky things back, and sometimes I am able to just ignore it.

Maybe if I did consider myself 'a personal representative of all of America' my interpretation and representation of that role, as 'American Ambassador' would be: Americans don't take no smack! 

I'm always MOST confused when people say to me, "You don't look like an American" or "I never would have guessed that you are an American."

What the (blank) does THAT mean? I don't look like a Cherokee? Or, maybe... I don't look like a... Mexican? Or maybe... I should weigh 900 pounds? Is it perhaps because... I'm not wearing a cowboy hat? Is that 'look' based the Americans you see on TV? And, those people are all beautiful, and you are saying that I am... not a Madonna look-a-like?

Is that an insult? Ummm... is that supposed to be... a complement???

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

How the (blank) does someone LOOK like 'an American'

The next time someone says something like that to me, I am just going to ask them, nicely, to tell me what they mean.

Because, I have NO IDEA what that means!

Ok, have at it nitpickers... kiss kiss!

Mmm, I believe that perhaps my humour got lost in my post somewhere...

You could be right.
I didn't think your 'comebacks' were particularly witty onscreen, but like you say, it's in the delivery, so maybe you had to be there.

I did like what you said about as you get older, stupid crap like this bothers you less.  I have lived in the UK for more than half my life, and when i first came, I was intensely embarrassed about being an American (because of the stereotype), but now I don't care and in fact, people don't really seem to notice and/or care where I'm originally from.  No witty comebacks required. 

Yeah it's funny... One of the many stereotypes of the Brits is that they are witty!

It is a *positive* British stereotype!

In my opinion, "Wit" is always considered a positive trait. As is any good humour!

Wit is a form of *intellectual* humor, and is the ability to say or write things that are clever, and usually funny.

Of course, "clever' is fairly subjective. And in general, if someone says something that is clever, to someone who is unable to grasp it, the receiver will not process it as wit. They will sometimes respond by reporting that they are offended, usually because they are confused.

And one of the negative stereotypes of Americans is that they are NOT witty.

Well, except New York - New Yorkers (Manhattan specifically) are often stereotyped as 'intellectual and witty'. (Must be those clever Woody Allen films!)

And, interestingly, Americans are stereotyped as friendly. Which is generally considered to be a positive trait... (BUT! I did once hear someone say that they disliked someone because the person was 'as friendly as a labrador puppy' and that they were allergic to dogs!)

Anyway, my point is, not all stereotypes are negative.

Not everyone appreciates wit.

I happen to ADORE witty people!

I also like friendly people... Especially if they are witty, friendly people.

Honestly, one of my favourite aspects of London is the amount of clever, witty, friendly people that I meet... The other is the still very much 'alive and kicking' theatre scene, which is full of people capable of clever, witty, intellectual banter, and drink tickets.

Oh, and while I am on that topic, if anyone in London wants to see a VERY WITTY SHOW, my friend Penny Arcade is performing at The Old Vic Tunnels this month, and I am making several guest appearances. The show is getting RAVE reviews. Check it out!

 

 

I did chuckle at Asadora's comments back I must admit (very bold...I'm not so brave! But it is what I think sometimes!). I don't care what nationality you are, the kind of joking that the guy was doing to Asadora is not cool! I don't think joking at serious things like the some of the past wars and 911 and so forth is acceptable for anyone of any race, creed, religion, moral standings, etc. It's too touchy of a ground for a lot of people. So I'd have to say that I probably would have been really upset too! Even in a different country, there are boundaries to jokes and appropriateness.

From strangers I pretty much take what comes at me in stride and try to smile and be tactful about my responses back (Especially since people seem to remember me here where I go!) I do have a "friend" that pushes it with me a lot and I'm not as polite in my responses to him as I used to be, but I suppose a year and 8 months means I've built up that right. For the most part, I'm have a lot of patience and just deal with it as graceful as I can...But more so to be the better person and take the high road you know? And that has nothing to do with being an American, but has everything with just wanting to be good and good hearted person.

I have to agree with some of what Laura was saying. I do every now and then get tired of being lumped as a "whole" when I'm individual (not that me whining here changes their opinion, they are going to think it regardless of how much we buck their system of thinking). I do point that out to people who do that and say "you can't loop in a whole nation for one persons actions! I know you don't reflect the same feelings of some of your country men, so how would you like it if I looped you in with their causes?" I usually get a "well that's true..." (and usually those are the same people in a 2nd breath who are dying to visit the U.S...Which I always found a bit confusing!..."You hate it, but you want to visit it...Hmmm....") But I also think that it really shows the maturity and intelligence of a person when they make ridiculous comments like that anyways.

Ultimately, I don't care what people think of me as an American, but I do more often care what they think about me a PERSON. What matters is what's on the inside! A beautiful heart knows no differences in race, gender, nationality, etc. Don't get me wrong! I LOVE my country! I'm from a long line of military servers, I have loads of pride, but it's like this thread states, "I'm more than my nationality"! I'm not a nice person because I'm American, I'm a nice person because I personally choose to be! Perhaps America's reputation can "piggy back" on my good intentions?