I am more than my nationality

Chary, lol! Yeeeaaahhh...I like to pretend those stats don't exist! (totally kidding! We talked about that too!)

But I plead if we have to go down the numbers route, we have to pull in China and Australia figures too! Lol!

Yeah, I could see how 'ignore them' could play out like that in a more advanced situation.

I was thinking of it being used for things more along the lines of like... A boy with crush on a female classmate, maybe just tugging on her pigtail, once.

In a more innocent scenario, ya know?

In a case like that, where no one is really being horridly abused, and it is just kids being kids, not tormentors.

I was never told, as a kid, to ignore anyone who teased me. It was simply NOT the 'done thing' in NYC.

If we were teased, we teased right back, and we made a game of making up stupid insults.

But, I don't recall any serious bullying going on when we were kids. Just spats.

I completely agree with noirem. 

I get that different cultures, different neighborhoods, different families and different individuals have varying levels of comfort with teasing, joking, etc. 

In my dad's family, the line is always 'if they didn't love you, they wouldn't tease you.  That's just how they are.'  As an adult, I can see that, and understand that they really aren't trying to be malicious (well, except for one mega-b*tchy aunt); they're just a bunch of overgrown 8 year-olds who don't know any other way to express themselves.  So it's stupid nicknames and fart jokes. 

But when I was a kid (admittedly, a hyper-sensitive one), I didn't understand that, and I used to get really upset.  And most of my family members understood that (eventually) and stopped winding me up.  They found more appropriate ways to interact with me, or they just left me alone.  That's because they're decent human beings, and decent human beings don't get a kick out of hurting other people.

I don't think it takes a genius to understand when something you've done has offended or upset someone else, and to do the decent thing by apologising, and not doing it again.  And I don't think that a refusal to do either of those things should be considered a 'cultural thing.' 

'Ars*hole' is not a protected ethnic group.

Yeah, I could see how 'ignore them' could play out like that in a more advanced situation.

I was thinking of it being used for things more along the lines of like... A boy with crush on a female classmate, maybe just tugging on her pigtail, once.

In a more innocent scenario, ya know?

In a case like that, where no one is really being horridly abused, and it is just kids being kids, not tormentors.

I was never told, as a kid, to ignore anyone who teased me. It was simply NOT the 'done thing' in NYC.

If we were teased, we teased right back, and we made a game of making up stupid insults.

But, I don't recall any serious bullying going on when we were kids. Just spats.

Ah, yes, when a seven year old boy chases a seven year old girl around the playground pulling her hair and calling her names it's so cute, isn't it? And when a grown man on the street calls a woman walking home from work a b*tch because she ignored him when he told her to give him a pretty smile, that's just adorable. No, it's not okay and yes it is the same thing.

"just ignore it" makes the victim responsible for their own torment, for "encouraging" it and does nothing to stop the tormentor.

Um, well, there is a bit of a leap in the logic on that one there, but I think I do get your main point: We don't want to teach little girls that anyone can touch them, and we don't want to teach boys that girls are their... playthings, to control.

Because when they grow up, if they internalise that message, it makes a right mess for everyone!

Right?

Well, I must say, I think that is pretty easy to agree with.

And, personally, I tend to speak up if I am offended.

I think some of it comes from growing up in the city.

I would say it is not the same thing.  Children are learning and do things developmentally that adults should not do.  It depends on the age and on the development of the child.

I chased boys, and kissed them, on the playground in first grade with my friend.  So about age 6.  I would not have done the same thing at age 7 and if a child at 8 was still chasing and pulling other children's hair then some sort of intervention might be needed, but it all depends on the child.

Amazingly, no one told us off about it.  We stopped.  As far as I am aware neither of us harass men in the street.  

Edited to add:  Someone might have stopped us if they had known.  And I was subjected to some pretty horrific bullying later.  I know the difference.  Who could have predicted that going bald as a 15 year old girl would have prompted so much bullying?  Oh, wait. Everyone.

I think there is a big difference between bullying and someone taking the piss, and you can tell the difference.

Of course you should not let someone bully you. But I though this thread was about Brits making comments about americans? And the vast majority of those instances will not be classified as bullying.

There are a thousand and one reasons why someone might make a big deal of your nationality and most of them will be more about the person making the remark than the other way around. Maybe that person admires americans, or secretly wants to be one, or is in awe or is proud to say they know an american. Maybe it's not even on a conscious level. Maybe they are socially awkward and can't think of anything better to say. Maybe they think you like to be teased about it. Who knows?

Sure there will be some folk who seriously don't like americans. Big deal. There are people who seriously don't like any group of people.

I'm in the group of people who roll with it. Life's too short to wonder why other people are acting they way they do. 

Yeah, it's part of normal development, and socialising, which is why I said it was a bit of a leap... But, anyway, by 15, kids should know a bit more, because they should have been taught by then, and they really should not be so cruel.

I think it is horrid that you got picked on bookgrl, and I wish I could go back in time and punch them.

When I read about the bullying that is going on today, it freaks me out.
It is really harsh.

Mostly, what seems to be happening in the UK to Americans, is not actual bullying.

It seems like it is just snark, or maybe tradition, or stupidity, or jealousy, or ego, or just some socially 'off' people.

Maybe we all just live on a planet with for too many egomaniacs with inferiority complexes?! LOL!

My hubby and I have a friend who is sometimes REALLY obnoxious (which is why we don't see him that often! My hubby puts him in his place though!) that came over last weekend and we were watching the ending Olympic results as to which I cheered "Yay America! Yay  UK!!!" and then my friend spouted off that "the ONLY reason we won was because we are such a big country and are BOUND to find some good athletes!" It had nothing to do with training, nothing to do with hard work...It was PURELY because we were just lucky to be a big country that was bound to have a little option between all the "lazy, overweight and stupid people" if we were smaller, it would have been a different story... I was wishing I had this photo to show him while he was spouting off! (Luckily my hubby told him to cool it or walk!) Anyways, it made me giggle this morning when I saw it and thought I would share!

HA! Oh my god, that photo made me laugh! Thank you. xD

Sure there will be some folk who seriously don't like americans. Big deal. There are people who seriously don't like any group of people.

I'm in the group of people who roll with it. Life's too short to wonder why other people are acting they way they do.  

For the record, I too agree that life is too short to wonder/care why people are the way they are. It's just... this is a venting thread after all. I was kinda annoyed at the time so, posted it. But, it is fun to enjoy our differences rather than pick and prod at the things we don't like/don't understand. I quite enjoy that sayings/word pronunciation is different.  Yay differences. :3

I agree with Mandy. I usually go with the flow and not say anything or just politely answer questions and remarks. Once in a while it just really irritates me so I needed a safe place to vent (which is why i vented here!) The thing is that when I posted this pic, I knew it was in a safe place where only people that knew me would see it. The guy that irritates me irritates EVERYONE in our group (British or American) its nothing to do with nationality with him, he's just plain ignorant and speaks before he thinks sometimes...He's not a bad guy though, just super annoying! Funny enough, I next to never say anything, usually my hubby (British) is the first to get defensive over it and tell him to cool it. I love the guy like an annoying brother that you wish you could give an old fashion swirly to! Haha! But I def would label myself as defensive...I've taken a lot of crap from both my American friends for becoming to "British" and people here with some of the rude comments I get here...Once in. While you just got to let off the building steam!

Let off steam. That's what the board is for. 

My comments were not to tell anyone they should not have a vent, but simply to offer up a few alternative ideas.

I think there is a big difference between bullying and someone taking the piss, and you can tell the difference.

I agree. It's not the same thing at all. However, judging by the number of threads on this topic, I don't think everyone can tell the difference - and that's where the problems start.

I agree. It's not the same thing at all. However, judging by the number of threads on this topic, I don't think everyone can tell the difference - and that's where the problems start.

Add to that one person's taking the piss is another person's bullying.

No.

With respect, 'one person's taking the piss' is NOT another person's bullying.

Factually, for something to be considered 'bullying' there needs to *a pattern of behaviour* established.

One comment, one time, is not bullying. That is teasing.

If the situation is not chronic (very important key factor!), not aimed toward a particular person, and not causing psychological and emotional harm, than it falls into the category of teasing.

Lara,

While I agree with you that one comment isn't necessarily bullying, with all respect "not causing psychological and emotional harm" is in the eye of the beholder so to speak.