Fork Etiquette

Has anyone ever had a problem with using American fork etiquette (ie swapping left to right as is common accepted etiquette in the US)?  I only ask because shortly after i moved here dw's parents mentioned it to her and i got a telling off by my now mum in law at a posh restaurant.  Its not that i was being disrespectful, just didnt know.

Discuss

Yes, I was once asked about it by my new boss when we were at a team lunch to welcome me.  I told her I thought it was better for me to use the method that I was most adept at and not spill things or look silly rather than try to adapt something I hadn't used for over 30 years.  She had no choice but to agree.

i got a telling off by my now mum in law at a posh restaurant.  Its not that i was being disrespectful, just didnt know.

Discuss

Wow. How rude of her!

I find it incredible that someone would correct an adult for an obvious cultural difference. I appreciate that some cultural differences are so big that you would give a newbie a heads up but fork etiquette hardly falls into that category.

This drives me bonkers in the opposite direction, my in-laws are always making fun of me for being "fancy" or upitty as I eat my food the way I was taught to with the fork upside down. Who the heck cares? Just do whatever you're comfortable with. It was super rude of your MiL to say that.

If you're in a proper real fancy restaurant then the customer is always right and they shouldn't even blink no matter what you do or ask for (that's a sign of a really well run establishment, not a pretentious one, they're there to make sure you have an enjoyable evening).

I've mentioned it casually to my DH before as something culturally interesting and for certain things he finds the upside down fork, knife thing easier (like cutting meat) so does do it sometimes but I would never force him to switch, he's 28 not 8.

Because I am just as comfortable eating left handed as right, that part is okay with me. The part I struggle with is people giving me odd looks for not using a knife to push my food onto my fork. If that is what you were raised with, fine. I just happen to be from a family who didn't eat that way, so I didn't grow up with it. Personally, I never thought about how a person holds his/her fork or if a knife is used for cutting or for every bite until I came over here. I was raised to eat politely, not talk with my mouth full, not spill off my fork etc, and it has worked for me this long. I suspect it will work for me for the future. I cut with my fork upside down, and will take that bite with it upside down. I agree, do what you are comfortable with and what gets the food to your face without spilling.

I even had my nephew (about 6 at the time) correct me for not eating my chips with a knife and fork. I DARED to use my fingers and dip them in ketchup. GASP!

I do both depending on what I am eating and with whom.  I do tend to eat more with the fork upside down as I was raised that way in Germany and Spain.

I've never understood the fascination with fork usage in the UK.  It's as though there was a general meeting held some time in the past during which the proper use of a fork was decided for now and all eternity, and everyone agreed to keep a wary eye out for alternate fork usage.

My mum used to say to me "It's a fork, not a shovel". I do find the US manner of cutting the food, putting knife down, switching fork to the other hand to seem a very clumsy way of doing it.
As we don't have a dining table and sit on the sofa to eat, if I don't have a tray I may cut the food first (with plate on coffee table) and then leave my knife and just use fork in right hand. And strangely enough, when I was growing up, if we had fish and chips we only ever used a fork (can cut throught the fish with edge of fork) and so now I never use a knife with fish and chips. Same with curry or chinese etc - no knife, just a  fork.

My mum used to say to me "It's a fork, not a shovel". I do find the US manner of cutting the food, putting knife down, switching fork to the other hand to seem a very clumsy way of doing it.

It was explained to me that by putting the knife down you weren't rushing to take the next bite and actually chewing and enjoying the bite you had in your mouth at the time. That may not be the 'real' reason, but that is what I was told.

I switched to the upside down fork way shortly after moving here not b/c anyone said anything but because it made me feel out of place (the very minimal sound of me putting my knife down on the plate sounded SO loud to me all of a sudden).  Now that I've switched, I can't understand why I ever ate the "other" way before.  The upside down fork method is so much easier!

I've never understood the fascination with fork usage in the UK.  It's as though there was a general meeting held some time in the past during which the proper use of a fork was decided for now and all eternity, and everyone agreed to keep a wary eye out for alternate fork usage.

This!

My mother-in-law told me off too!  I was 40 at the time.  She also told me that I wasn't teaching my children to eat properly (they were 8 & 5).  They've since buckled under the pressure, but I still eat the way I eat.

I do find the US manner of cutting the food, putting knife down, switching fork to the other hand to seem a very clumsy way of doing it.

That's the thing, though; I don't eat that way, and have never noticed any of my fellow countrymen doing it, either.  Maybe they do it and I'm not paying attention, but I really don't care how other people get their food into their mouth.  As long as they can eat without starving to death, choking to death, or grossing me out, I'm pretty cool with whatever method they choose to employ.

Somehow, some British people have got it into their heads that a) "We all eat the same way, and anyone who doesn't eat like us is wrong," and b) "Americans all the the same way, and their way is wrong."  I don't understand the underlying premise of either of those statements.

This thread actually makes me happy because I thought it was just me who found it odd that people would care how I held a fork.   I still eat the way I always have, and have decided if people don't like it they don't have to watch me eat. Since I am not sloppy (other than the rare spill that we all accidentally have), chew with my mouth closed, don't talk with my mouth full, etc, holding my fork upright isn't that big of a crime in the whole scheme of life.

I actually find it more rude for people to correct adults on fork usage than to hold it 'wrong'. I wonder how some people would react in a country where it is common to eat with your hands. I've even seen people use a knife and fork for sandwiches and pizza, and give me odd looks for holding them in my hands. The whole point is to get the food into your face, which I am doing. If you are more comfortable eating sandwiches and pizza with a knife and fork I see no need to judge your eating style. We all have our way of doing things, and it seems odd to me for an adult to correct another adult.

I think I must have been born European because, even as a child, I always ate with fork in the left hand (I'm right-handed). Not so much of the pushing business with the knife though. My father was always yelling at me to eat the proper way. 

I've always eaten with my fork in my left hand and knife in the right.  I'm right-handed as well, but mine started out as a method of survival in a sense as both my parents are left-handed and when sitting next to one of them at the dinner table, I had to eat with the fork in my left hand if I wanted to a) eat, b) not spill food everywhere and most importantly c) didn't want to end up with bruises from elbows being bashed together.   

As for the knife thing, I use my knife to put food on my fork and have done since I was a kid.  It was either that or my fingers and my parents frowned on using fingers to put food on your fork.  That's me, though.