Hospital birthing, general anxiety over different birth system

I've been reading various posts here and searching for birth differences, and I'm frankly a bit anxiety ridden over the differences between the two systems.
In the States I was very pro-active in finding an OB/midwife team that I trusted and built a relationship with over several pregnancies, and one drawn out labor/birth (c-sec). My partner was absolutely instrumental in getting me through a natural labor, as was my mid-wife. I'm a bit worried about the fact that it seems (based upon other stories here regarding visiting hours) that partners (or doulas?) are not allowed in the labor/birthing wards after 8 or 9 at night. I honestly don't know if I could labor by myself, and it frankly seems a bit odd and unnatural to not have support, since the staff seem to be stretched thin? Further, after I had my C-sec, he was absolutely needed to help get our daughter out of the bassinet thing, help change diapers, not to mention help me get to the toilet (and off!)once the bag was finally removed.
Anyways, I guess I'm just freaking out about all of this, and would love some reassurances. I realise that people obviously give birth here very happily and very successfully, but I think we're all a bit affected by what we 'know' vs what is 'new'.
Also, it seems like the hospitals that you have to choose from vary greatly - does anyone know of any websites offering reviews? I've already looked on the NHS website, which actually has a very convenient comparison tool, but would appreciate finding some actual reviews somewhere as well. I'm hoping for a VBAC, but due to some rare complications from previous pregnancy, will need somewhere with OBs on staff, otherwise I'd likely go for a birthing centre!
Thanks for listening to my anxiety attack;)

Partners are allowed while you are labouring, they tend to only kick them off wards after the baby has been born and you are moved off of labour/delivery. But they do send them home then, which I thought was a bit pants, tbh. There are midwives around to help with changing, etc. though, although you are encouraged to do as much as you can.

This was at the Jessops wing in Sheffield though and your mileage way very

Don't panic, it will all be okay! lol! Partners are allowed on the labour ward 24 hours a day, however if your baby is born late at night, they will probably keep you in the labour ward as long as possible but ask your partner to leave when you move into the maternity ward. My kids were born at night (one at 11 and one at 9) and both times my husband stayed until about 2 am, and I was quite happy to see him go so we could all get some rest. I also saw several different midwives during my pregnandy, and that was fine with me, they were all very kind and they were good communicators, as was I, so I told them what I wanted. Only not so much the time I had a section. Good luck!!!!

This is our first pregnancy, so it's all very terrifying regardless where we have the baby. We're still deciding between home birth or hospital birth. But I think it made me feel slightly more comfortable about a hospital birth once I took a tour of the facilities. Can you visit the hospitals you're considering? And see what's allowed and what's not? It might help put your mind at ease. If your hospital doesn't offer tours, see if there's a YouTube video. Ours actually recently stopped giving tours and now has a YouTube video.

I'm sure your maternal instincts will kick in, and you'll find the most suitable place for you ti have your baby. Good luck!

There is a ton of info on the NHS Choices about pregnancy and birth, including: Where to have your baby. You have the option of changing your mind as well, which is nice.

Also check out Mumsnet for reviews and info about services local to you. Might give you some peace of mind, or help you make better choices.

I just gave birth on the NHS and I'm a ftm so I can only comment on my friend's and family member's experiences in the US but I had a very positive experience here in England.  2 months before I was due the local hospital's maternity ward was closed amidst controversy and local women were faced with 2 choices - a local midwife led centre (no doctors on site) or a brand new hospital (with private rooms) 20 miles away.  As it was my first I went for the hospital and it was as good an experience as giving birth could be!  I felt much better after taking a tour of the ward beforehand.

Throughout pregnancy I saw the midwife serving my GP's office and she was fantastic!!  A really, really sweet, supportive and down to earth girl who I miss now!  All of the other local midwives that I met were also very nice and seemed like they would support whatever choices you make.

During labour the midwife was actually American and we had a giant room with a birthing pool.  Everyone was really nice considering it was Christmas day.  After baby arrived they noticed her cleft palate and moved her up to high dependency care - overall we spent 5 days in the hospital.  My husband went home that night (lo born at 9am) but he could have stayed if he'd signed a form saying basically that he wouldn't ask for staff to look after him, that he was there to help me and the baby and that he would remain clothed at all times!  also he wasn't allowed to use the en-suite shower.  Overall I felt that hospital staff had our best interests at hand and we were in very good care.

Once home the midwife comes to visit the following day to check you and baby over.  She came once a week for 2 or 3 weeks, as well as the health visitor and the GP.  This is especially helpful as it saves you from having to venture out.  I really think this is a positive thing offered by the Nhs.

I have to say that one of my favorite things about the UK is the Nhs - I love my surgery (there is an on-site bakery, garden, arts workshop and vegetarian cafe!) and my experiences with pregnancy and labor were very positive.  One difference with midwife-led care you might find is different is a very natural approach to things - my midwife wouldn't offer a sweep until I was 40+5 days and wouldn't induce until 42 weeks.  They don't do regular internal checks of the cervix because they are considered invasive - I never even had a sweep so my cervix wasn't checked until I went to the hospital and was 7cm dilated!  I found this to be a better approach for me.

Best of luck and hope you have a great experience!

Tally, that's reassuring that you had a postive experience with your birth and the NHS. Your surgery sounds like the Shangri-la!

Thanks all! I'm going to schedule my first appt next week (I think I'm around 10 woks, there's some confusion on my own end about spotting vs cycle - oops  ), and See what the practice is like. As it's not our first pregnancy, it's not really this early bit that I'm worried about

Meanwhile, has anyone used an independent midwife? It seems like that may offer more continuity of care that we were used to with previous pregnancies.

I had my son in London in an NHS hospital.  We had a very positive experience -- the midwives were wonderful and the nurses were caring and attentive.
I took an antenatal class in my area and mid-wives from the hospital ran it and answered all the questions we might have about the birth, what to expect and help us write a birth plan.  This class was a very good source of information and also told me about different local programs we could get involved with after my son was born.  We also had a group visit to the hospital.  A few of the girls in my class had doulas and it seemed the hospital was very open to this.  In fact, it seemed that they were very progressive as far as personal birth plans -- whether you chose to home birth, go to the hospital, use a birthing pool, etc. (someone was going to use hypnosis techniques).
My husband was present at the birth (wee hours of the morning) and they did not rush him out afterwards, although he did go home when I had to stay on the ward afterwards.
I also loved that a health visitor came to my home after the birth -- to see how I was, see how my son was, weigh him and see how feeding was going. I was incredibly fragile emotionally in the weeks after his birth and she actually came out on more than one occasion! My friend in the US who was pregnant at the same time I was thought this was incredible.
I also joined the SureStart program where I could take my son to free baby massage, mom/baby yoga classes, play in the play room, etc. 
I would visit the hospitals you are considering and also see if there's an antenatal class running or someone you may contact there to help answer your questions.
I wish you all the best with the birth of your child.  It sounds like you are well prepared and perhaps you'll find more reassurance if you make a hospital visit or get in touch with the mid-wife team.

Just to add some diversity of experience, I had a horrible experience giving birth in a nhs hospital. Understaffed labour ward was the main problem. Wish I had hired a doula or private midwife, think it would have made a world if difference. Also if I had been high risk in any way I would have gone private.

I had a fantastic experience with my son at a smaller NHS hospital.  My daughter was born at a huge teaching NHS hospital in the midst of a baby boom and this caused some issues.  My recommendation is check out the options - look on mumsnet (or was it netmums? one of them anyway) for reviews etc. and visit if possible.

Tally - your GP surgery sounds heavenly! My midwife was lovely but we certainly didn't have all that!

Yeah, I got lucky with my GP for sure!  A friend who goes there recommended it.  Although it's NHS it's run by a charity trust so they have a charity shop and hold fundraisers among other things.  Definitely has a community centre sort of feel to it  : )

http://www.blackthorn.org.uk/index.php?page=home.html