Is it really THAT different to the US??

I feel very panicked all of a sudden.

BF is British and I'm American. I've been traveling back and forth to the UK a few times per year since roughly 2005 (England/scotland mostly). The one thing I've told everybody who has asked is that it has never felt like a foreign country.

Aside from the obvious (accents, different money, chippies, different celebs to make fun of) I have never felt that big a difference. The way people are, the way they talk, their customs, none of it feels "Whoa! Not in America we don't do that!!" to me. Sometimes I even roll my eyes when people ask how different the cultures are because in my experience, it just hasn't been all that different at all. It feels very close to America.

But then when I read stuff on this board, suddenly I feel like I've been naive or something. People making threads about things they need to get used to, how to properly answer a door or telephone, how to handle telemarketers, how to handle affection (hugs, etc) - is making me go into a panic. Are these differences REALLY that pronounced? Have I just been missing it all this time? Is it suddenly going to slap me in the face when I move?

I think it hits you more when you move here permanently. 

I lived here in 96-97 and 99-00 plus almost every year as a tourist, but it wasn't until I moved here for good that certain things really struck me. 

I mean I was at Uni, doing Bunac and a tourist the other times I was here, so I didn't need to know how to do a lot of the things that people find different. 

But then when I read stuff on this board, suddenly I feel like I've been naive or something. People making threads about things they need to get used to, how to properly answer a door or telephone, how to handle telemarketers, how to handle affection (hugs, etc) - is making me go into a panic. Are these differences REALLY that pronounced? Have I just been missing it all this time? Is it suddenly going to slap me in the face when I move?

You'll probably be absolutely fine. I think some people react differently to new situations - and those are the people who are going to post on the forum about things like that. The people who have had no issues answering the door or handling affection don't really need to talk about it.

While I think Yes, it is different, I will say that this country has become sooo much more what I consider to be Americanized in the last 20 years. I first came here in 1993 and it was very different....I really hate to say its become more American, but I do feel that it has. It might just be where I live, but I find it kind of similar to America in a lot of ways.

Or maybe I have just become so used to being here after almost 20 years, I just can't tell the difference anymore!

You'll probably be absolutely fine. I think some people react differently to new situations - and those are the people who are going to post on the forum about things like that. The people who have had no issues answering the door or handling affection don't really need to talk about it.

Agreed.  Internet forums are definitely not the place to go if you're looking for people who are happy with their situation.  There are lots of Americans who move to the UK and have no problem adjusting.  Odds are you're one of them

If you've never felt as if you're in a foreign country when coming here then I'd say that's a plus for you.  It is different here but it doesn't have to be so alien that you can't get over the differences.  I know that there are some things I'd like to take back to the states like yellow lights before a green light and cheese & onion potato chips... love those things.  I'm sure there're a few other things I'll miss from the UK when I eventually move back home but that won't be for a few years at the least yet.

I don't think it's massively different. It's a whole bunch of little things, in my opinion. I've also never felt like I was in a foreign country, but I've always said that living in England as an American is like waking up in the middle of the night and feeling your way around in the dark and relying on muscle memory only to discover everything has been moved two inches to the left.

In America I operate on autopilot, but here not so much.

I've lived here for a year now and I was the same as you-I had been on plenty of trips before I actually moved and I never felt like it was a different country-just different accents!

The differences become more noticeable when you're here permanently, at least they did for me. And like PlainPearl said it seems to be a bunch of little things rather than one huge noticeable difference. I have had a ton of ups and downs in my year here but it helps having a super supportive boyfriend! I think the weather more than anything has affected me as I am from California and I miss the sun!! But now that spring is on it's way i'm super excited!

It's all about keeping busy, finding things that make you feel at home, and exploring your new environment!

Nah - don't panic.  What a number of people have said is spot on, plus I like PlainPearl's comment about autopilot - because I felt the same way.

Stuff like how to answer the door, the telephone, telemarketers, hugging etc...I tend to think someone is overthinking things, but then everyone has their 'thing' that will stress them out, I suppose!  All that stuff I don't do any differently than what I did in the US.

And I am sure over the past 8 years that I have made about a million faux pas, but I just kept blundering on - lol!    And even then, if someone points an issue out to you, you'll find another individual who disagrees with them & so on & so forth.

For quite a few of us, meltdowns have seemed to occur in the grocery store - for some reason, when you can't find the pancake syrup (or some other special item you need/want) you knew how to find and/or took for granted in the US, or the store is not arranged in the way you are accustomed (or in the case of Morrisons, for instance, there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason on how it is arranged...or in the case of Sainsburys, they are always out of stock on the exact thing you want...  ).

But never fear - there is Food Talk on here for all those burning issues! 

In America I operate on autopilot, but here not so much.

That's a really good way to put it.  I've been in the UK for 5 years, and my autopilot gets turned on a lot more as time goes on.

Nah - don't panic.  What a number of people have said is spot on, plus I like PlainPearl's comment about autopilot - because I felt the same way.

Stuff like how to answer the door, the telephone, telemarketers, hugging etc...I tend to think someone is overthinking things, but then everyone has their 'thing' that will stress them out, I suppose!  All that stuff I don't do any differently than what I did in the US.

And I am sure over the past 8 years that I have made about a million faux pas, but I just kept blundering on - lol!    And even then, if someone points an issue out to you, you'll find another individual who disagrees with them & so on & so forth.

Haha!  I'm the same way; I just do stuff however I do it, and nobody has given me any static so far. 

I'm one of those you rarely hear complaining about the UK because I settled immediately and without issue. I have felt very much at home here right from the beginning. Yes, there have been things that have occasionally pushed buttons, but that happened in the US as well. Overall I love it here and have no intention of returning to the US.

For quite a few of us, meltdowns have seemed to occur in the grocery store - for some reason, when you can't find the pancake syrup (or some other special item you need/want) you knew how to find and/or took for granted in the US, or the store is not arranged in the way you are accustomed (or in the case of Morrisons, for instance, there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason on how it is arranged...or in the case of Sainsburys, they are always out of stock on the exact thing you want...  ).

This does still throw me. It does not upset me, but I do think that grocery stores here can be pretty chaotic when it comes to how things are grouped. In my local Tesco, I can find 3 different brands of coconut milk in 3 different places. Why?

I agree as well that it seems to hit more once you move here permanently, and also that it is the little things that are different. That said, to me it is different enough to keep it interesting, and similar enough to make it comfortable.

A lot of people complain about the weather, but I honestly and truly *love* it. I was born and lived in the Philadelphia suburbs for 32 years, where there can be extremes in weather - absolutely frigid, snowy, icy winters and take-your-breath away hot, humid, horrible summers. Then I lived in Alabama for 10 years, so again with the heat. So I truly enjoy the generally more moderate temps of England.

My frustrations came in simple household matters - tiny washers and dryers (and rarely using the dryer because "its wasteful"), no dishwasher, adjusting to metric to cook, tiny rooms and no closets. I also had to get used to walking most places. bagging my own groceries, and wiping our dog's feet every time she comes in because it gets so muddy outside. Depending on where you're from, you may notice a  slight-to-great difference in cost of living.

6.5 months later, all these things seem second nature to me.  I actually *enjoy* doing dishes and walking to town a few times a week, even though we have a car.  I've gotten creative with storage solutions, and it made me get rid of a lot of things I truly didn't need/want/use any longer. I hang clothes on the outside line whenever possible and the clothes smell so nice.

I think as long as you keep the mindset that although many things are done differently here, it's just "different", not "wrong", you'll be fine.

For quite a few of us, meltdowns have seemed to occur in the grocery store - for some reason, when you can't find the pancake syrup (or some other special item you need/want) you knew how to find and/or took for granted in the US, or the store is not arranged in the way you are accustomed (or in the case of Morrisons, for instance, there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason on how it is arranged...or in the case of Sainsburys, they are always out of stock on the exact thing you want...  ).

Yes! I have Social Anxiety Disorder, but I do pretty good in all other parts of the UK except for the grocery store. I've been reduced to tears there at least once and have had a few panic attacks there as well. For me, it's a combination of not being able to find what I need and the different way people seem to move around the grocery store here (or at least in DF's neck of the woods). I always feel crowded, in the way, like someone has "rudely" cut me off or like the group walking in front of me is both walking slow and making it impossible for me to pass them and I'm deathly afraid of making a mistake. DF thinks I need to adopt a more "ruthless" attitude when it comes to grocery shopping, but I don't want to be "ruthless." I'd feel bad. 

This isn't to say that I've never encountered similar problems in the US. I most certainly have, but I notice it a lot more here (again at least in this neck of the woods) and it's the major thing I'm working on getting over because being able to shop for food without wanting to crouch in the fetal position is kind of important. 

If I could re-do my introduction to UK grocery stores, I'd have DF take me at a less busy time, so I could feel free to browse at a leisurely pace rather than walking in and quickly picking up stuff that "will do" and hightailing it out of there.

Hopefully, that hasn't scared the crap out of the OP.

For quite a few of us, meltdowns have seemed to occur in the grocery store - for some reason, when you can't find the pancake syrup (or some other special item you need/want) you knew how to find and/or took for granted in the US, or the store is not arranged in the way you are accustomed (or in the case of Morrisons, for instance, there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason on how it is arranged...or in the case of Sainsburys, they are always out of stock on the exact thing you want...  ).

LMAO, this is SOOOOO true. As a matter of fact, we stopped by ASDA the other day with my daughter. We've only been here since Monday (but this is my second time living here) and we told my daughter that the last time I was here, I had a complete meltdown in ASDA because I went in expecting it to be like Walmart (its part of the Walmart family) and of course it was NOTHING like Walmart. I cried my eyes out. It was jam packed on a Saturday afternoon and I sobbed like a baby. So now the running joke is...Mom don't get all upset, its not like its a Fake Walmart or anything.

You'll do fine, just remember it takes awhile to adjust. I suffer from an anxiety disorder and I felt an attack coming on yesterday afternoon, and I lived here before. I just breath through it and know its going to get better.

For me, it's a combination of not being able to find what I need and the different way people seem to move around the grocery store here (or at least in DF's neck of the woods). I always feel crowded, in the way, like someone has "rudely" cut me off or like the group walking in front of me is both walking slow and making it impossible for me to pass them and I'm deathly afraid of making a mistake.

Oh my yes. I forgot about my first few trips to the grocery store. I also suffer from panic attacks, although I am much, much better in my 40's than I was in my 20's. But the grocery store threw me for a loop when I first arrived. What's more, I wanted to shuffle along and explore the first time I was there, and we lost track of time and got a BIG parking ticket!  So, the first grocery trip was a disaster.  I still get a bit disoriented in our local Morrison's when we do our "big shop". I still can't find things sometimes, or get frustrated, but it has greatly improved since I arrived in September.  I do tend to speak up more, ask the clerks for help, and am not afraid to say, "Excuse me! May I go through?" when several dippies are blocking the entire aisle and chatting.  DH says I "kick ass" in the supermarket, which I really don't, but as he is so mild, he'd stand there and fume until the people finished their conversation and moved on!