We are the SUPER-EXPATS!

We're super-cool, super-special SUPER-EXPATS! 

But seriously, why are some people able to adapt more easily than others?

Haha, Chary, nothing to add but this title made me laugh.

I think a lot of it might be luck?  After graduating I moved 10 times between 98 and 05 and never had too much trouble.  But I moved mainly for jobs that I already had.  

I moved here and, of course, the first few years of marriage are stressful.  

I moved into my husband's tiny house (and it was REALLY tiny, not just in comparison to the US) and I moved over at a really bad time to find a new place in a uni town.  

Sometimes things just fall into place and sometimes they don't.  You can take steps to make things better, but some things you can't plan for.

I was lucky in a lot of ways though since I had already lived in Scotland for 2 years.  I didn't need to learn the money or anything.

An excellent question!  I wish I knew the answer.  My best guess is that people who were not too fixed or settled in their pre-expat lives, who had lots of experience with travel and living in different countries before settling in the UK, are the ones who have the easiest time adapting to this country.  Those who expect things to be mostly the same as back home, or who are constantly comparing the US and UK (usually to the UK's disadvantage), or who gave up a lot to move here, those seem to be the ones who struggle the most. 

Largely, though, I think it's down to personality.  I am one who had a pretty easy time of it, but I have wanted to live abroad since I was a small child.  Before the UK, I lived in France, Japan, and Prague, plus all over the US.  All that moving plus my longtime dream of living abroad I think helped me let the US go and embrace the UK.  I do have occasional twinges of missing things, but mostly I don't think about what I've left behind.  That attitude has served me well my whole adult life.  I miss things from all the places I've lived, but I don't dwell on it.  As a wise friend said on Facebook earlier today, "May the bridges I burn light the way!"

I didn't have much trouble adjusting at all (though I can certainly understand that so many people do) -

Don't know why, except that I am a 'go with the flow' kind of person and I am very quiet (believe it or not) and observant of everything around me.  (This is how I attribute my own personal adjustment, not that others aren't like this)

Maybe too for some spouses, its because this is where they have to be for visa purposes, spouse's better job, etc, and its not because of any 'love' for the UK or anything like that. Other spouses do just fine. Who knows?

I'm on the adventure of life and Scotland calls me.  Friendly people, sheep, hills, beautiful countryside, sheep, lochs, real ales, sheep... It never gets old. Even in the rain, I still love it.  I may move somewhere else in the adventure of life, but Scotland will always call me. I know that for certain.  

I think some of my issues might be that I really liked where I lived in Scotland and don't really like the area where I am living now. 

But since I moved for my spouse and this is where his much better paying job is, here we are.

I do think that some people end up landing in a lot better situations than others as well - what your job situation is, how much money you arrive with or are able to make, do you already have connections here or not, perhaps what your partner does or his/her job opportunities, good (or bad) in-laws, what area/neighbourhood you end up in - so many different factors.

I was really, really fortunate moving over here -- my husband already had a great job & was well set up.  That made things so much easier for me/us together.  Really great in-laws that I never had to live with either! 

I never had any particular love for the UK either - never even really thought about it much (until I met him) other than a place I might like to go on holiday someday, certainly somewhere I never thought about moving.  And yet, here I am.

And then there's the weather...ok, back to add that to my growing list on the struggling thread!

I think it's definitely down to circumstances and personality, like others have said. I just sort of jumped right in when I moved to Scotland, which had a lot to do with the fact that I had a master's course to keep me very busy as well as my independence, since I was living in a flat in Glasgow where I didn't really have any trouble getting to where I needed to go. I also had insta-friends through my course, so there was immediate support when I didn't get how something worked as well as no lack of socialising. That stuff is so important! Plus, like PB, I'm a go-with-the-flow person. I just tend to get on with things easily.

Even later on when I had some difficulty, it was down to not having a job and had nothing to do with Scotland. I never felt like it had anything to do with where I was living or that some other place would be better. I would have felt the same way in the same situation in the US.

I moved an awful lot from the time I was 18, so I learned to think of home as the place where my stuff was rather than a specific town or house or whatever. I had also had the benefit of travelling around Europe with nothing but a backpack for 2 months, so I'd managed to learn a lot about adapting quickly to new (and often times confusing!) surroundings.

Yeah, it's really kind of interesting to think about and reflect on. 

And hey - if you're not a superexpat (after all, we can't all fly around in capes & leotards), don't despair!!!

Just come on over here:

http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=75186.0

Or here:

http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=75188.0

And join the rest of us mere mortals! 

I learned to think of home as the place where my stuff was rather than a specific town or house or whatever.

Yes, this!  Exactly how I feel.  Je suis un escargot qui voyage (I am a travelling snail...can't remember where this came from, but it's stuck with me for years) and I carry my home with me!

I am just awesome. Thats it. I am awesome.

But to be more specific, I got sent to help a girl called Rosemary stuff envelopes for one day in October of 1999, it wsa my first temp assignment and Rosemary is now my BFF Rosemary and I left that job when I went to have my second child in 2010...so things worked out for me pretty well. I also felt like Manchester was my soulmate of a city, if thats possible.

I find that in Britain people just like Rachel for being Rachel, they seem to like ME for being ME, and I have never had any trouble making friends. I never ever felt that living in America people liked me for me, I did feel like there was an agenda, but thats probably because of where I am from, Long Island is very materialistic. I just came here and got on with things, I never thought about what I was missing at home, I never felt like anything different was a pain in the ars*, I always thought it was EXCITING! and NEW! and DIFFERENT!

Also, its to do with where you live and the circumstances you live in. Manchester to me is like Long Island, everything is like a 30 minute drive away and we have all the mod cons...and from what I understand, not everyplace is like that! lol! Anyway, and I am awesome. Arf.

Manchester to me is like Long Island

Heeeeee! 

But, yes. We're all clearly just awesome.

Don't hate me because I am a SUPER-EXPAT! 

I have been here for 26 years (although the first 5 years were only 9 months of each year due to visa stuff), but  I can honestly, hand-on-heart say that I have never had a single day of homesickness, or thinking I don't belong here.

I came here initially to be with a boyfriend I'd met on holiday, and eventually when the boyfriend and I broke up and I had to evaluate my situation, I decided that I really liked Glasgow and didn't want to leave.  So I stayed on... and even then, I never really had a plan of staying here forever, but my life here was so much easier, more fun, more social, and more... live-able than the life I'd left behind in California, that it just sort of developed and happened on its own.

I have no idea why I never missed California/my old life, other than... it was better for me here.  And that's just an individual thing that will vary person to person.

Don't hate me because I am a SUPER-EXPAT! 

I love you because you're a SUPER-EXPAT! 

I am one who had a pretty easy time of it, but I have wanted to live abroad since I was a small child. 

Absolutely, me as well. I still remember they used the B-52's "Roam" on a tv ad to promote studying abroad when I was in elementary school and it really stuck with me.