Affording to live and flights home....

I dont go back to the US very often, but that because I dont WANT to go back.

This. I'm DELIGHTED that my parents just boooked flights to come and visit us this Fall, because it means we get at least another 2 years of spending our holiday time and holiday money going somewhere we actually want to go, rather than the ars*-end of Pennsylvania. It's Win-Win for my family, as they love London.

I've lived here for ten years now, and in that time I've been back 3 or 4 times (once was for my grandparents' 80th birthdays, and another was for our wedding reception, too).

Plans have altered.  Thinking of walking in Sweden instead.  Hmmmmm. 

We stay at my parents and/or friends as well and have my old car to use.

Another thing that helps us is going late spring or late summer, instead of mid summer when flights are a few hundred more pounds/dollars more each, and seeing which day of the week during the week we are hoping to go is cheapest. We also try to book a few months in advance if possible. We were able to get a great deal once, booking at Christmas for August.

I've been back twice since I moved here in February 2010. We just booked flights for this summer to attend (be in, in my case) my friend's wedding.

I'm not sure if we'll go next year, though I feel a bit obligated to visit my grandparents if possible, as their health is declining. We'll see.

I don't mind not visiting, though. As others have said, I'd rather go other places, really. I go back to see family, but as both my parents came to London this year, I don't really feel the need to go back anytime soon (aside from the aforementioned wedding).

BF and I rent, have no plans to buy a house anytime soon (I'm working on selling mine in the US), and save a good portion of our income, so cost-wise it isn't too hard to visit the US (though airfare prices are insane). Both of my visits to the US have been off-peak (February and November), so I managed to get pretty good deals (about half what we're paying to go in late August this year).

I moved here in September 2010 and I have been back to visit family 3 times. When I moved here I sort of planned to visit twice a year, as I have two grown sons there and my elderly mother. It looks like that is going to be cut down to once a year simply because of the expense. I wish my sons for example could visit me here, but round trip flights from USA to here are even more expensive and no way do they have that kind of money. My DW has never met anyone in my family. She doesn't fly so no way she is going to the USA.

We moved over in 2005 and I have been back to see my family once.  When my Mom was able we paid for her to fly over.  The last time she came over was 2 years ago and due to her age won't be coming back.
A few weeks ago we went to California for a brief visit as my husband was there on business.  I was not able to see my family as they live 2000 miles from CA.
For us once you pay for the airfare, the rental car, and the extended stay hotel it adds up quickly.
 My Mom is not in a position to pay for our trip(or offer us a place to stay), and to be honest I would have a very hard time accepting money from her anyway-we are in our 40's and it would just feel strange accepting the offer of money or a holiday from someone else.
For a fraction of the cost of going to the States we are able to spend a relaxing week in Scotland each year.  After 5 years of saving we were able to buy a house in 2010.

I understand what you're talking about. I haven't been back to the US since I announced my pregnancy there for Thanksgiving 09. My son is almost 2 now, and only my mother has met him when she flew to Inverness just after he was born. We're expecting again in August, and people back home are begging me to come home for a visit.

What really gets to me is the expectation that I have to get my toddler and newborn onto a plane after raising enough money for tickets for all 4 of us (maybe just three if the daughter is exempt). Most of my friends and family don't have young children, but because I'm the one that moved away, the expectation is that I come home to visit. I'm a parttime employee, soon-to-be fulltime mom, and my husband, though he works 40 hours a week, makes just enough for us to pay the rent, council tax, groceries, sofa payments, etc. We just don't have the money, and I still get the guilt trips. Sometimes I cry over it, it gets so bad, but there's nothing I can do. If they want to see me, I wish they would make the effort, take the time off work, take the money they earn from their nice office jobs and buy a ticket to come see me and the kids. Fair is fair, and I've already gone broke to visit them! And that was before the kids! Grrr.

I understand what you're talking about. I haven't been back to the US since I announced my pregnancy there for Thanksgiving 09. My son is almost 2 now, and only my mother has met him when she flew to Inverness just after he was born. We're expecting again in August, and people back home are begging me to come home for a visit.

What really gets to me is the expectation that I have to get my toddler and newborn onto a plane after raising enough money for tickets for all 4 of us (maybe just three if the daughter is exempt). Most of my friends and family don't have young children, but because I'm the one that moved away, the expectation is that I come home to visit. I'm a parttime employee, soon-to-be fulltime mom, and my husband, though he works 40 hours a week, makes just enough for us to pay the rent, council tax, groceries, sofa payments, etc. We just don't have the money, and I still get the guilt trips. Sometimes I cry over it, it gets so bad, but there's nothing I can do. If they want to see me, I wish they would make the effort, take the time off work, take the money they earn from their nice office jobs and buy a ticket to come see me and the kids. Fair is fair, and I've already gone broke to visit them! And that was before the kids! Grrr.

You can always start a travel fund. Anytime someone guilts you to visit, point them to a page that says "here's an itemized travel budget and how much I currently have saved. You can make a donation towards the cause by clicking here" with a link to paypal or some-such.  Alternatively, just saying, "I would love to visit buy we don't have the $$$$ it would cost to fly us all out" or "Are you offering to pay for our flights?" should get the subject dropped quickly enough.

You can always start a travel fund. Anytime someone guilts you to visit, point them to a page that says "here's an itemized travel budget and how much I currently have saved. You can make a donation towards the cause by clicking here" with a link to paypal or some-such. 

     Would anyone really do this?!?    

You can always start a travel fund. Anytime someone guilts you to visit, point them to a page that says "here's an itemized travel budget and how much I currently have saved. You can make a donation towards the cause by clicking here" with a link to paypal or some-such.  Alternatively, just saying, "I would love to visit buy we don't have the $$$$ it would cost to fly us all out" or "Are you offering to pay for our flights?" should get the subject dropped quickly enough.

I wouldn't ask them for money, my family is as poor as I am. They whine a lot, but then again so do I. I tell them that I don't have the money, but sometimes people get to me, like when they say, "So? Just leave the kids with the hubbie and come out yourself!" Yes, I think to myself, that's doable!! Lol. I've cut off contact with family members that constantly badger me with sappy whining for me to come back because I can't take the stress that it causes. It's easier, and instead of them not getting the message, I just don't have to deal with it anymore

I don't know your particular situation or your friends and family, but I have noticed some of my friends or family do that when they miss us.  It's their own way of saying it, but the intent is not to force you to spend money you don't have or hassle but just to let you know they would like to see you. 

I am terribly homesick sometimes, but I have noticed that if I mention how much I miss my family to them it seems like they think I'm hinting for financial help to come home.  They have helped us to come home the last four visits by paying for all the tickets.  Now I feel like I can't let them know how much I miss them.  I would never ask for money unless I was destitute but we could never afford it on our own. 

Just a few thoughts....

We've gone back once a year in the time I have lived here. Because we were able to stay at mom's instead of getting a hotel, it really cut down on cost. We also managed to borrow a car every year except last year, and then dad paid for half of the rental of it for us.

It is a big expense to go back, but we don't have a lot of expensive bills, and rent isn't so bad in Blackburn. Now that we are headed back, we will be making our trips here for our visits home.  

When Dh & I go back to the States we stay with my sister & my Stepdad lets us borrow his truck so we don't have those expenses to worry about thankfully. if we didn't have those we probably couldn't go home all that often. besides we only go home every 18 months these days cause it takes us that long to save up for our trip back.

"Are you offering to pay for our flights?" should get the subject dropped quickly enough.

More than you know. 

    Would anyone really do this?!?    

Why not? People contribute to funds all the time. Think of it as a personal kickstarter.  Is it "tacky" to ask people for money? Not, I think, when they're the ones trying to dictate how you spend it.

    Would anyone really do this?!?    

I'm sure she could let the family know she started something on ChipIn.