DIVORCE -- Please Help

Hi everyone,

I urgently need some help and suggestions for how to go about securing a divorce from my wife.  I got my spousal visa and moved to the UK to be with my wife in July 2011.  Unfortunately, the fairy tale went awry, and I became the victim of domestic abuse on a huge scale.  I left the UK in May of this year, and am now back in the US, in the state of Maryland, where we got married in 2010.  My wife has also admitted to me that she is now having an affair with another woman, and sent me a picture of the two of them embracing.

I was speaking with someone who told me that one attorney was requiring a $5,000 retainer to handle an ordinary divorce, not complicated by international factors.  I simply can't afford that amount of money.

My wife told me a substantial lie about her circumstances that was still hidden from at the time of our marriage.  In my mind, this constitutes some kind of fraud?  Is there any possibility of an annulment?  I know the affair she is having doesn't count against her, as Maryland doesn't seem to recognize same-sex activity as adultery.

My best guess is that my wife would not be able to contest the divorce, as how would she be able to find an attorney to represent her who is licensed to practice in Maryland?  And she certainly would not have the means or resources to come before a court in the States.  Since she is on benefits in the UK, she'll probably be able to get free legal aid.

Are there specialized attorneys who deal with divorces entailing international circumstances, or could an ordinary divorce attorney handle this matter?

Any help would be MUCH appreciated.

Best,
~Teddy

Why are you still talking your wife?  Can you not handle the proceedings yourself instead of getting an attorney? 

I just did a quick Google search and found the following firms. They deal in international divorces/family law, and are based in Maryland.

http://www.bangudilaw.com/practiceareas/internationalfamily.aspx

http://www.robertflanaganlaw.com/lawyer-attorney-1779836.html

http://www.shulmanrogers.com/attorneys-177.html

Hope this helps!

I doubt you need someone specializing in international divorce law. You have no joint property or finances, no kids, and she's not here. She does not need to be present for you to divorce her in Maryland. I seriously doubt she can get the legal representation to try anything no matter how much she may threaten to do so.

While in theory it looks like adultery is a possibility, actually proving it for the court is probably not worth it. However, it is the fastest way to do it. But you need third party proof. Otherwise you're looking at waiting 12 months from the date of your separation before you can file.

You can probably do this yourself as the courts do offer some free legal advice for filing. Plus, unless you pursue adultery, you've got the best part of a year to research things.

Oh, I suppose abuse is also an option, but honestly, like with the adultery, it may be too hard to prove from 2000+ miles away.

In the meantime, I'd really really suggest you IGNORE her. But save the emails and texts.

Why don't you ask the attorney who represented you in the purchase of your house? Considering it took less than a month from start to close, it sounds like he or she can work wonders. Otherwise how about the therapist friend who took you in when you moved back? I would guess a professional dealing with these types of matters would have some suggestions.

I find it impossible to believe that your divorce will cost $5000.
You need to do some research... something beyond talking to some random person.  Call some lawyers!  (and while you're on to them, you could enquire about anullment, too.)

Granted, this was a long time ago, but my first husband was in California and divorced me while I was in Scotland, and it cost no more than a couple of hundred bucks.  The international thing wasnt an issue at all... apart from postage for the documents.

Why don't you ask the attorney who represented you in the purchase of your house? Considering it took less than a month from start to close, it sounds like he or she can work wonders.

Absolutely!

Why don't you ask the attorney who represented you in the purchase of your house? Considering it took less than a month from start to close, it sounds like he or she can work wonders. Otherwise how about the therapist friend who took you in when you moved back? I would guess a professional dealing with these types of matters would have some suggestions.

When I was getting a divorce my attorney told me not to do anything, buy a house, car, graduate from college ect until everything was finalized.

When I was getting a divorce my attorney told me not to do anything, buy a house, car, graduate from college ect until everything was finalized.

That's one reason I was surprised to hear Teddy had bought a place (i have no idea what a co-op is... is it like a condo?) rather than renting for a while until the dust had settled.

I wasn't sure either.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housing_cooperative

Co-ops are very common in NY, particularly around NYC and the lower Hudson. Interestingly enough, one of the oldest rental co-ops in the US is the Rochdale Cooperative, in Jamaica, Queens, which was modeled after a cooperative in Rochdale (Greater Manchester).

While I didn't read all the posts here, I would go to the website for the county you live in and look for the divorce paperwork. When i got my divorce (both of us in the states) we down loaded the documents, filled them out ourselves (no kids, no assets) and then filed them at the courthouse for about $300.00. Why would she contest the divorce?

Do a little more research, it should not cost that much.

*sigh*  Still so confused...  I'm NOT talking to her any more ... after some horrific exchanges in which to most hateful things were said.  :-(

The reason I bought a place was because I couldn't stay with my friend any longer -- he prefers living alone, and the fact that I was / am a walking basket case was jeopardizing our friendship.  It's hard to explain the full circumstances, but I didn't have enough money to rent a place -- my only option was to buy.

There are SO many questions.  If I try to file papers for myself for divorce, what do I put as the grounds, if not the lie from the beginning about home ownership, or the adultery?  It gets so complicated.  ...  :-(

I have read enough online that I recognize a same-sex relationship apparently doesn't "count" as adultery in Maryland.  But Maryland law has recently changed such that the state now recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions.  So, I imagine the divorce laws will be changing in sync with that....

The main thing is, if I file for divorce MYSELF, how do I do it without giving her my address and contact info??

I am really lost on this.  My friend, who is a therapist and not an attorney, hasn't been able to give any guidance. 

I'm grateful to all those who replied.  One of you guys put up some links I'm going to check out now. 

Oh, and as to proving domestic abuse, there *was* a MARAC meeting called on my behalf.  And my GP in the UK was willing to support me in my effort to get ILR based on domestic violence.  I don't have the actual police statement that I gave, but I do have with me the name of the police officer and the OIS serial number.  Is there any way to get a copy of the police file on this??? 

Thanks,
Teddy

I just did a quick Google search and found the following firms. They deal in international divorces/family law, and are based in Maryland.

http://www.bangudilaw.com/practiceareas/internationalfamily.aspx

http://www.robertflanaganlaw.com/lawyer-attorney-1779836.html

http://www.shulmanrogers.com/attorneys-177.html

Hope this helps!

Thank you, FallGal, I'm going to check those now.

Teddy

I have been through an international divorce before. You won't need a specialized lawyer for that. Under normal circumstances, you could do it on your own.  But, I would recommend that you get a lawyer to handle it for you so that you don't have to have contact with her at all.  Your lawyer can handle the notifications to her and give his address for contact.  I've no idea what a simple divorce runs in your state, but it shouldn't cost more than $1000 to $1200 I would think. When you go to speak to a lawyer, don't make it sound like your case is complicated because it really isn't.  You have no children together and until your recent house purchase, you had no property that might come into question. Your lawyer should be able to protect your recent property purchase in court. Just contact a few lawyers in your area and find out what they will charge.  Be sure and ask for a free consultation when you phone them.  If you don't ask, you may be charged.