Today was actually a pretty decent day. I went to the meetings I usually go to (more like "group therapy" really) and I actually spoke. Which I normally never do. Everyone congratulated me and made me feel really great about myself, Alex and I are getting along so well and I'm taking my G.E.D classes and those are going pretty well, too. However, then I come home from whatever errands I've been doing, from being pretty happy and upbeat to just alone and I just feel so utterly miserable when I get there. My brain just is horrible and never cuts me a break from thinking and it drives me insane. From everything from big money issues, to college, to careers to the littlest insignificant thing that doesn't even matter. Things are on my mind constantly, to the point where it is almost suffocating. Yay for adulthood.
I think a lot of what it comes down to is I'm missing Alex so much lately. Which I know a hell of a lot of people on here relate to with missing their SO. I was thinking how this whole thing is going to work between us. The reality is taking hold that it's going to take a lot of patience, money and time for us to be together. (I'm not patient at all
have to work on that. Luckily he is more patient than me) He'd totally be worth the wait though..
I'm struggling even though I saw him in May, today it has just hit me hard how badly I want to be with him again. I was trying to keep myself as busy as I can but then when I have nothing to do I just get upset. I miss my best friend. Thanks for reading guys, just needed to type some of that crap out. Phew.