My mom never put out snacks beforehand because she wants everyone to be hungry. If someone complains, "When's dinner, I'm starving!' She says, "Good! I've been cooking for 4 days. You're not filling up on pretzels and nuts!"
Our Thanksgiving dinner:
We always have my Mom's Escarole/Italian wedding soup to start. Don't know why. We just do. It is the best soup I've ever had in my life.
Then:
Turkey & gravy (of course)
Stuffing
Mashed potatoes
Sweet potatoes
Dinner rolls
Cranberry sauce
Green beans (not the casserole, as my family doesn't like it)
Succotash
Coleslaw
Broccoli casserole
Then:
Pumpkin pie
Apple pie
Lemon meringue pie
Ice cream
THEN, if you have any more room, a box of Godiva chocolates is passed around. Once someone asked why this wasn't just put out with the desserts. My Mom is no fool. If she waits until AFTER dessert, then not that many people will eat the chocolates and more is left for her.
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There has to be *some* reward for cooking for 4 days for 15-20 people.
