Was your family against you moving to the UK?

I'm curious to know if your family was supportive or against you moving to the UK? A move far away from family in the States does indirectly make them less of a priority. Resentment can set in particularly if elderly parents or older children look to you for support. Has the move damaged your relationship with parents,children,siblings,friends, ect?

Not at all. My family have always seen it as a great adventure and everyone has been supportive. 

Hi, your questions on this forum are almost clinical and survey-like, and you seem to want to throw the questions away from you rather than relating them to yourself.  We know your situation and that you have some big decisions to make about moving to the UK, so tell us about your thoughts and experiences in your questions and you'll get a lot more support and helpful comments on your posts.  If you give a little of what's going on with you, you'll get a lot more useful responses back!

For example, rather than saying 'resentment can set in', which is a generalising statement without context, write it as the personal worry that it clearly is.  If you're afraid that resentment will set in, then say 'I'm afraid that resentment will set in'.  People will respond a lot more to you as person they can relate to, rather than a set of general questions about a disembodied, hypothetical situation.

Please read this in the manner that it was intended: I want to help you get the most out of this wonderful forum and the lovely people on it!

Oh, and in answer to your question, yes my husband's parents were sad to see him move across the Atlantic, but they were also overjoyed that he had found love over there!

My family were, and 27 years later still are, totally against my move to the UK.  For years they tried everything ... offering me cars,  houses, and money if I would come back.   They've given up on that now, and simply use guilt tactics, but not as often as they used to.

But I wouldn't say our relationship has been damaged... I think the distance has just made us appreciate each other more.

My close friends had more of a reaction... They were very, very sad to see me go.
They were not angry or in ANY way unsupportive... just really sad I would be so far away.

But, they are happy that I fell in love, and they all love my hubby.

And they all have a free place to stay in London!

Not at all. My family have always seen it as a great adventure and everyone has been supportive. 

This was my experience as well, although they were all thrilled when we decided to make the move to the US.

Nope, everyone thinks its awesome.  Even when I come back for visits, they recognise I'm so happy and 'at home', so they're really supportive of my adventures. 


I do have to say I agree with rbbarch's post, is your family resentful of this?  Have they expressed fear, anger, upset feelings, guilt-tripping you, etc? 

I wouldn't say my family was against it, more like they are sad and miss us all (We lived in the States for 3 years together). Would they be over joyed for us to come back...yes. But they understand why we are here and are happy we are together, which is all that matters to us.

When we were first married (20 years ago) my family was very supportive. Then we moved to the US in 2000, but started seriously working toward returning to the UK in 2008, when I was 61 and DH was 68.

My parents - particularly my father - was totally against the move, and made some comments resulting in our not speaking for nearly a year. He basically said "I can't see you moving back there, but if you are going, just go and don't come back here". At my age, that was very difficult to take.

Well....months later he had no memory of what he said, and it evolved into more of a "we'll miss you" attitude, but not really supportive or approving. I understand that it's difficult for them given their age, but we had to do what was right for us. I've made 1 trip back and am planning another in the new year, and not looking forward to it, as it will be a lot of crying, sighing, and so forth both upon arrival and departure. I don't like 'guilt trips' and unfortunately that's the feeling I have...the errant eldest child, who has left them.

Ah well - for most it isn't like that!

My family was fairly supportive, everytime I Skype with my mom, she always manages to ask me when we're moving back.  Which can be a little annoying at times (especially for my husband), but it is understandable.  My dad is a lot better than my mom about it, he understands that I'm happy out here and that's all he ever wanted for his children. 

Overall, I think my family was very sad to see me go (it's also hard because I am the only member of the family who actually lives in another country, the majority of my extended family lives in the same state), but they understood why I was going, but they would love it if we moved back.

My folks were fine with the idea of me going, but not so keen on the idea that I don't plan to come back.   

There are loads of expats that I 'know' through this site and FB though who have amazingly close relationships with their kin.  People who put the effort into staying close seem to manage very well. 

Hi, your questions on this forum are almost clinical and survey-like, and you seem to want to throw the questions away from you rather than relating them to yourself.  We know your situation and that you have some big decisions to make about moving to the UK, so tell us about your thoughts and experiences in your questions and you'll get a lot more support and helpful comments on your posts.  If you give a little of what's going on with you, you'll get a lot more useful responses back!

For example, rather than saying 'resentment can set in', which is a generalising statement without context, write it as the personal worry that it clearly is.  If you're afraid that resentment will set in, then say 'I'm afraid that resentment will set in'.  People will respond a lot more to you as person they can relate to, rather than a set of general questions about a disembodied, hypothetical situation.

Please read this in the manner that it was intended: I want to help you get the most out of this wonderful forum and the lovely people on it!

Oh, and in answer to your question, yes my husband's parents were sad to see him move across the Atlantic, but they were also overjoyed that he had found love over there!

Thank You

When we were first married (20 years ago) my family was very supportive. Then we moved to the US in 2000, but started seriously working toward returning to the UK in 2008, when I was 61 and DH was 68.

My parents - particularly my father - was totally against the move, and made some comments resulting in our not speaking for nearly a year. He basically said "I can't see you moving back there, but if you are going, just go and don't come back here". At my age, that was very difficult to take.

Well....months later he had no memory of what he said, and it evolved into more of a "we'll miss you" attitude, but not really supportive or approving. I understand that it's difficult for them given their age, but we had to do what was right for us. I've made 1 trip back and am planning another in the new year, and not looking forward to it, as it will be a lot of crying, sighing, and so forth both upon arrival and departure. I don't like 'guilt trips' and unfortunately that's the feeling I have...the errant eldest child, who has left them.

Ah well - for most it isn't like that!

Thank you for sharing your story. Leaving behind family is never easy for anyone involved. My situation has more to do with family members  that believe I'm sacrificing too much to be with my woman. They also feel that the UK does not offer a better quality of life compared to America. A close family member has lived in the UK for business purposes. So as you can see I'm getting a lot of opinions and most of them are negative. Having children also makes the move tougher. Some people think moving across the world when you are in your early 50's has more to do with a midlife crisis than simply wanting to follow the person who makes you happy.Not a easy thing for some people to accept.

My family were, and 27 years later still are, totally against my move to the UK.  For years they tried everything ... offering me cars,  houses, and money if I would come back.   They've given up on that now, and simply use guilt tactics, but not as often as they used to.

Just wanted to add that the reason they didn't want me to move wasn't because of any perceived 'quality of life' issues, or the supposed 'sacrifices' I was making... they are quite simply a very controlling group of people, and with me being so far away, their power over me was diminished.

My quality of life in Glasgow is a vast improvement over the life I left behind in California.  But that is just a happy accident... i certainly didn't plan it out, and I don't even think I actually meant to stay this long!  I was 23, with only a high school education, and no plans for my life.  I was just looking for an adventure; a good time.  I wasn't mapping out my future... it just happened to work out this way, and looking back now, I can see that I have been very lucky.

Maybe I'm just cold hearted but my families approval/non approval didn't factor into  moving over at all. 
I moved over with my husband (English, but had lived in the States for 13 years) and our two children.  Their opinions are all that mattered.