Was your family against you moving to the UK?

I think that leaving behind children, grown or otherwise, is a really personal decision. Some people looking in will always think that you have made the wrong choice. Try not to think about what other people will think, but about what you honestly feel deep-down. Some people can leave their children behind and some can't, I don't think that you have to think of it as a right-or-wrong decision, more of if it is something that you could personally do.

I haven't even made the move yet and my friends are on me! I just lost my mom a few weeks ago and that is the only family I have per se, but I have dear friends that are like my family and there feelings are very important to me. I also have a wonderful Godson who lives 45 minutes away ( i live in LA) and a daughter that lives with my ex in Florida (it would just be a few extra hours on plane from London).
I hear comments like:
"Wow...you will be giving up EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN"
"You are from So Cal...how are you going to cope with the dreary weather?"
"If you do come back to the states you will have to start ALL OVER AGAIN"
" You will be retiring too early and will give up an enormous pension" ( they are right on that one).
My best friend has been depressed since I told her about a year ago. She says things like " I will support you no matter what..." but I can see her pain. We are very close, almost like sisters. I tell her that she can come and visit me, and she has the means to and the time, but it is not the same as being 45 minutes away.
To be honest with you, I prefer to stay in the US. I don't want to leave my nice lifestyle. I have a beautiful house and good friends and love America. But I love my fiance and we are having visa problems getting her over here. If we can't straighten it out then I will have no choice but to move to be with her. IT scares me. Change scares me. I will have to find a job. Perhaps a new career even.
On the bright side, I do love the UK. I don't mind the weather and yes, I have spent significant time here to find out. Still it is not the US which to me is the greatest country in the world. I am proud to be an American.
Good luck with your people back home. Follow your heart. Remember that you are living your life for YOU and not how others want you to live.Life is short.

My family is a 100% against me moving. Guess it's on them when I have my visa in hand with a one way ticket.

There were mixed feelings from my extended family about me moving over to the UK:

• sadness that we would miss out on Thanksgivings (although Skype is nice to get face-time in during THAT particular holiday)
• happiness that we would be close to my husband's fmily, who'd never met our 4 yr old son
• happiness that it seemed like a terrific adventure to a slightly exotic place (where they all speak our language )
• sadness from my job because i'd been with them for 13 years and they were going to miss me (and have to replace me)

The only REALLY bad reaction I got was from my dad, who completely lost it, shouted at me that I was ruining my life, that the loser I'd married was taking me away from a stable job, car and house, and that we'd be living like hoboes before too long. He said that due to the economy "over there", the UK was basically like Somalia and he feared for my life (I am NOT making this up) 

My husband hasn't spoken to him in over a year now, since we moved over here to the Newcastle area.

Sure we gave up a lot to move here. I miss my job and the decent paycheck, but we get by and cover our bills here with no problem. I miss having large closets, electrical outlets in bathrooms, shops that stay open past 5 pm, etc...

But you know what? Our quality of life has VASTLY improved since we moved here. I get to see my family a lot more now (I used to commute 60 miles per day and NEVER saw them except on the weekends, pretty much), we get more exercise, biking and walking every day, and swimming in the ocean when we can, we live on the seafront so our location is INCREDIBLE (far better than ugly Texas), we actually eat healthier here for some reason, our son LOVES his school, and lastly, we finally have relatives who're happy to lend a hand when we need a break for a day or so, and take our son for little trips places or just a sleepover at grandma's house. Incredibly, in the past 5 years we had only 6-7 weekends for ourselves due to work, distance from family, etc...

Sorry for the long ramble, but I just wanted to say in summary: there are going to be good AND bad things that'll happen to you whether you move over here or stay put. I personally haven't had any regrets. Some things are better, some are worse, but it's all been a great experience and an adventure. I can't foresee myself moving back to the States anytime soon, if ever.

I haven't even made the move yet and my friends are on me! I just lost my mom a few weeks ago and that is the only family I have per se, but I have dear friends that are like my family and there feelings are very important to me. I also have a wonderful Godson who lives 45 minutes away ( i live in LA) and a daughter that lives with my ex in Florida (it would just be a few extra hours on plane from London).
I hear comments like:
"Wow...you will be giving up EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN"
"You are from So Cal...how are you going to cope with the dreary weather?"
"If you do come back to the states you will have to start ALL OVER AGAIN"
" You will be retiring too early and will give up an enormous pension" ( they are right on that one).
My best friend has been depressed since I told her about a year ago. She says things like " I will support you no matter what..." but I can see her pain. We are very close, almost like sisters. I tell her that she can come and visit me, and she has the means to and the time, but it is not the same as being 45 minutes away.
To be honest with you, I prefer to stay in the US. I don't want to leave my nice lifestyle. I have a beautiful house and good friends and love America. But I love my fiance and we are having visa problems getting her over here. If we can't straighten it out then I will have no choice but to move to be with her. IT scares me. Change scares me. I will have to find a job. Perhaps a new career even.
On the bright side, I do love the UK. I don't mind the weather and yes, I have spent significant time here to find out. Still it is not the US which to me is the greatest country in the world. I am proud to be an American.
Good luck with your people back home. Follow your heart. Remember that you are living your life for YOU and not how others want you to live.Life is short.

Allthought I hate any of you are dealing with similar difficult influences on your life choices, still it's nice to hear that other people understand how it feels to be pulled in several directions. At least I know I'm not alone. Some people just don't get it when you explain to them that your adult children's opinions matter to you.And having daughters is different than the independant nature of sons. If I had boys more than likely they would see my moving to the UK as an opportunity for them to come over and experience a bit of adventure. But my daughters are just the opposite, they feel like I'm choosing a woman that is not their mom over them. That would explain why this move has been on and then later reconsidered. My lady has been great through all this.She put forth the suggestion that my daughters come over and spend substantial amounts of time with us mostly during the summers. I waited this long for very good reasons but putting this move off much longer is problematic. And I have my own reservations about this move, it's not like I need more reasons to question this choice.

Totally against it.  They want me to join LAPD and stay in California, but I don't see that as a viable plan. I've a herniated disc in my back, a bad knee and a bad ankle.  Somehow police work doesn't seem like the best idea. 

Overheadsmash - my brother was more upset when my mother moved away from our family home to another state across the US...I thought it was a great move for her as the place fit her better...so it's not a girl versus boy thing - I've always been more open to such things (thus why my brother still lives in my hometown and I live in London).  My brother got over it.  He bitched for a few years, particularly after her had kids (poor children, they won't get to know their grandmother...b*tch, b*tch, b*tch), but I told him to shut it and quit being so freaking selfish - it's her life and she can do what she needs to make it a better one (which it is).  Your kids will deal with it and hopefully will get over it...but never let your children who are GROWN dictate your life - they have their own lives and choices, and you now have your own to make.  And it's only YOURS to make it.

I was fortunate. My parents wanted me to see the world, and my siblings have lived and travelled abroad extensively. Indeed, the biggest problem I've had is an endless stream of visitors!!

This is such an important question.  I'm having a hard time being in the UK and I've gone looking for others on this forum like me...I've done nothing scientific,  but I feel I see a correlation between people finding it difficult to adjust and people being really effected by their family's disapproval. I am the same...my family wasn't and isn't happy about my move. We now have a difficult time communicating sometimes and I'm having a difficult time with that.

Supportive famil...or the lack of...is a problem that exists no .matter where you live. Living abroad doesn't necessarily cause tons of problems,  but it can really exacerbate existing ones.

Supportive famil...or the lack of...is a problem that exists no .matter where you live. Living abroad doesn't necessarily cause tons of problems,  but it can really exacerbate existing ones.

I agree. This is true, in fact, of any relationship. Your relationship with your family, friends, even partner/spouse if you're moving to be with him/her, has the problems that it has, and moving can bring them out into high relief. Moving itself is rarely the cause.

Most of my family and friends have been very supportive of my decision. I've been back-and-forth between Washington State and Scotland for 12 years now and I am just happier in Scotland.

I think that a couple of my siblings resent my decisions (and think I'm messing up my life by living abroad) but most of them are very supportive - despite missing me.

My Mum and Dad would love me to come home - IF it would make me happy, but they know that Scotland is where I've found my joy so they're happy I'm here. (Skype and the fact that they own passports helps!)

Very interesting, it is really good, I think.