3 months into the new job... and I hate it.

Oh I just don't know what to do. The work it's self is fine if a bit mindless and repetitive. But the culture where I work is horrible. Demeaning, not respectful at all. I hate it there.

How long should I gut it out before I start to look for something else? I'm still stuck in the "I don't know what I want to do" for work problem so having some work is better than having no work. But getting up everyday is becoming a chore and it's darn near impossible to put a smile on my face there.

I wish, wish, wish I could find some type of work counselor who I could talk to about what I can do and help me find my interests. I have the "What color is your parachute" book so I guess I need to get it out and start going through it again. See if I can finish it this time.

I do have my horse equipment store I am trying to build, need to get on that I think and push it hard.

*sigh* sorry, I just needed to vent.

The first job that I had in the UK was in a really negative office and was not good.  I couldn't figure out if it was the culture in the UK or just that office.  I felt that everyone talked about each other behind their backs.  No one would offer anyone else help if they knew they were buried.  People just complained about anything and everything all day long.  I started talking about it with other people and they said it was just the office that they worked other places without all the drama.

About six months ago I changed jobs and it has been the best move ever.  I now know that I do not need to stay at a job if I am miserable in the future.

Only you know what's best for you, but I say start looking for something new.  Maybe don't give notice until you have something else lined up.

But the "figuring out what you want to be when you grow up" is hard...  most of us are still trying to figure that out.   

Wow... your post mirrors my feelings exactly about the work place. I was starting to get worried that "this is how it is done" here. It's so negative and micromanaged I can't believe it. A couple of weeks ago they made everyone move desks because people were getting too friendly and chatting while at work. Imagine that, being friendly with people you work with.

I'll keep plugging away at it whilst I try to figure out what to do. Can't afford to go back to school and am not sure how to utilize my education and skills to find something I want to do. I don't have to earn a lot of money, I just need to be happy. I'm 44 now and just have no idea what to do.

Sadly, I've had similar experiences with the places I've worked here. The negativity, the micromanaging, the thing about moving desks to keep people from talking & being friendly with each other - like you're still in primary school or something... All of that!    (I'll soon be 49, ffs!)

I keep telling myself - ok this can't be a UK thing, just a 'these employers' thing. It's hard not to compare, because I left what was for me a great job in the US. It was a major corporation & no I didn't get all the holiday time & stuff you get here (which is great!) but I was treated so well & so professionally in the role I had back then/there - management was very progressive & with the times.

Now, granted I've only worked two different places for a length of time - 6 months for a pension company early on in my time here. Then I stayed working at a charity for 6+ years. DH keeps reassuring me that it won't be like that *everywhere* (he's in IT which is a whole other, probably much better, animal as an industry) but I'm pretty discouraged, TBH. I kept at it for a long time & kept my chin up & the whole deal, until I just couldn't take it anymore - plus DH was tired of me coming home stressed out & crying so often etc.

Right now, I'm taking a break & being a housewife - DH earns enough to support us - we just have less dosh for travelling at the moment than what we used to have. I'll need to start looking again eventually, but I just feel like I can't keep doing this again & again... 

It was funny recently because DH's work has been a bit slow lately & he's not got new projects on at the moment, so he was feeling a little down - like he had less autonomy over things, just currently being occupied with bits & bobs of putting out fires, etc. I pointed out to him how I *never* had *any* autonomy in the jobs that I held here so far - for years & years on end, and it really put things into perspective for him.

I hope you find something better & figure out what you want to be when you grow up! I hope I do too! 

The charity I worked at was the worst ever and, since it was one I worked at in the US, I thought it would be ok.  Wrong!

I've had crap jobs both sides of the Atlantic. Best job I ever had was right out of college -- loved the work and most of the people, they encouraged me to go on for a master's (paid half tuition), encouraged to audit other courses, go on trips to consult other professionals in the field, etc etc. Pay was low but excellent benefits including 3 week holidays.  But when I went back to the same institution things had sure changed! Sign of the times, I guess.

The charity I worked at was the worst ever and, since it was one I worked at in the US, I thought it would be ok.  Wrong!

I had the same experience! Worked for the US version long time ago (mid-90s) & the UK version here recently for 6+ years. The work here/there was more or less similar & the work (and clients) itself was fine, but the management that I worked for...    An environment of mutual/reciprocal professionalism, respect & trust, vs not at all. 

BD, yeah I hear you on there being crap jobs either side - of that I have no doubts! And I agree with you on 'sign of the times'.

Yes, there are more workers than jobs so they can treat people like crap. I am in a much better place mentally to job hunt now than I was 4 months ago, that is for sure.

I don't have to leave but after today I plan to. In about 2 years the husband will make enough that I won't have to work (we will have bills paid off) but until then I do need to do something.

A couple of my new coworkers were begging me not to go and I said "I don't need this crap in my life and I don't have to work in it."

It won't happen over night, I am going to take my time and really look this time. But it will happen. Oh yes it will.

I plan on working as soon as I get there, hopefully :/ but can you elaborate on what it is that is so different? Do they automatically treat us different because we are American?
 I was thinking of applying someplace safe to start, maybe a Tesco or a small office just to get my foot in the door.

 Are UK resume's the same as we have in the US or should I work with someone there to get it done? My hubby is in IT so it is completely different. Here in the states I haven't worked in nearly 10 years. I've done nearly everything imaginable tho, lol..I've gone to school for Business Administration but did not graduate. I do have a degree in Culinary Arts but don't want to do that.

From the previous comments, I must've really lucked out. I started by volunteering for a charity, and then a job came up and I got it. While there is a bit of gossiping around, and some general unhappiness about the way things are run (cost cutting etc), the people I work with are fabulous and we really believe in what the charity does and try our best. Our main issues are that some people seem to get away with 'looking busy' by staring at their computers while on their iPhone looking at Facebook, and basically feeling 'unheard' during the recent restructure.

Personally, I was getting frustrated with the restructure we went through, got very stressed and was just not having a good time at work. I requested to start working part-time, and although it took about 6 months to process it - I was finally granted part-time work and I'm much less stressed and quite happy.

I agree that if you are not happy, you should find someplace where you can be. It took me 9 months to find a job when I first moved here, and now I've been working at the same place for almost 3 years. Make sure you have another job lined up before you give notice. Most employers in the UK will expect to wait for you to give your month's notice (it's amazing how quickly it passes).

Good luck

Well as the year has progressed... I am still at the same employer but in June was hired into another position with a different manager. I am now just this week starting to transition into said new role, and I am thinking things will already be a bit better. I am still in the same office space with the same people but this new team is more established and down to earth. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that it works out. At least until January, as I decided I would put in one year here before moving on.

I still have not figured out what I want to do. The other issue is where we live. Down in the South East in a seaside retirement community, there are no jobs here unless you want to work in a hotel (no!) or the hospital (Uh, not for me.) Which means going to London. And to do that I need to know what I want to be working at. Husband commutes in every day but I think if I found work there we would move there. Why he commutes is a whole different story.

Thanks for your thoughts all! And your support.