YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!

I work at the pour house (the old judge and jury) across the street from jj bubbles.  I work mon-thursday during the day....and do not play music loud!!!!

Cool! Maybe I'll come visit you sometime.

OMG, how wonderful, Lara!  i can't believe you waited 2 years (i waited...5 months before heading back for my baby shower!); it's going to be all the more wonderful!  I'm very jealous.  i think hubs and i may head back for good after i get citizenship - in about 2.5 years, but who's counting?!  but this time perhaps not WaHi (though we loved it there; just not v conducive to raising a family), but we're even thinking Jersey - OMG, look at us!

Enjoy your two weeks; i'm SURE hubs will fall in love.  I mean, what's not to love?! ...why was i so eager to leave?  so excited for you!!!  

Lara...it's posts like yours and others that have woken me up to the reality that I cannot and will not EVER move to the UK. For that, I thank you and all the others who have been so honest and candid.
In reading your many posts, I have felt your anguish. I am soooo glad that you are returning to the place you love and will connect again with friends and family. I also hope that it works out that you will convince your hubby to live in NYC rather than London.
It doesn't matter what your standard of living is, I know that it is far better in the USA. When the charm and wonder of the old world dies down and the reality of the day to day of not being able to find this or find that and your heart aches because you miss the people of the home you left, I imagine it is something akin to torture. And self torture at that because you chose the one you love over the country you loved and the people you left behind.
I have realized this yet it is frightening. I adore my new wife but I would lose myself if I moved here. Essentially I have had to chose myself over here. After all, I am no good to her if I am living in misery. Some would read this and say "well, how do you really know?" I know. I have spent lots of time over here for extended periods. It just more and more depressing. I get more and more homesick! And that is just after a month or so. My life in Los Angeles is rich and full of opportunities. I have a lovely home and a great career and my life is "set". Our only option is for her to move here, something she is willing to do, as her life and standard of living will improve. Like me though, she will miss what she has known as home. She has no real friends and not much family so that is not at issue thank God.
So we have done all the paperwork for the UK spousal visa anticipating that I would use it. We are going to pursue US immigration instead. The ruling on DOMA is what we are waiting for as a same sex couple. If that is not overturned then....well....we will be doing the long distance thing until something else goes in our favor.
Again, I wish you luck and I will pray that your husband agrees to move and your suffering ends.
I wonder how many of the fine people on this site had to say goodbye to a relationship because of not wanting to move to the UK.
Good Luck Lara!

It doesn't matter what your standard of living is, I know that it is far better in the USA.

That's quite a statement to make, and a false one for many of us here. My standard of living is much better in Scotland than it would be in the US, and I would never, ever move back; so much so that I have renounced my US citizenship (at great expense to myself) to be free of the US. I'm sorry that you feel the way you do, but just realise that it is by no means a universal sentiment of people who move from the US to the UK.

It doesn't matter what your standard of living is, I know that it is far better in the USA. When the charm and wonder of the old world dies down and the reality of the day to day of not being able to find this or find that and your heart aches because you miss the people of the home you left

Speak for yourself only, because in my case, you are absolutely, 100% wrong.  And after 27 years here, I am hardly walking about in some sort of rose-tinted 'isnt it all so quaint and ye-olde-worlde' delusion.

While I do not share DrSuperL99’s need to be free of the US, I have to agree that you’ve made a sweeping and inaccurate statement. Picking up and moving to another country is really difficult. I think it’s difficult no matter where you are from and where you move to. While my quality of life was better in the US, I do think I will eventually have that in the UK. Someone from the UK could just as easily move to the US and be seduced by the charm. However, after awhile, they could realize they miss their friends and family, and can’t find the things they love. They might eventually decide their quality of life was better in the UK. So, it works both ways.

There are things that drive me crazy about the UK and there are things that I miss about the US. However, if I moved home, I’d find myself missing things in the UK. Neither country is perfect. I just think people need to personally decide for themselves where they are better off. If you think you could never live in the UK and want to remain in the US, that’s your choice, but that doesn’t change the fact that many people have moved to the UK and have an equal or better quality of life. Likewise, if you moved to the UK and loved it, that doesn’t negate the experience of those who find living here difficult and prefer the US. It really just depends. While we probably all have shared experiences as American expats, a lot of our experiences will be unique, so it’s not fair to decide for everyone that the US gives its citizens a better quality of life than the UK does.

That's quite a statement to make, and a false one for many of us here.

Speak for yourself only, because in my case, you are absolutely, 100% wrong. 

Ditto.

When the charm and wonder of the old world dies down

I think this is probably why you haven't felt settled here. You're expecting it to be all olde worlde charm. It's a modern 21st century country, not something from a PBS period drama.

It doesn't matter what your standard of living is, I know that it is far better in the USA.

Hey, she's entitled to her opinions. As PlainPearl stated, everyone's had different experiences in the UK. I do think that my standard of living was slightly better in America, and in time I think my standard of living in the UK will improve. These things don't happen overnight. Namely, if I had a job and a car I'd probably feel a lot better. But, it's all a work in progress...

There are good and bad things about both countries. I'm over here so I find myself missing things about the US, yet when I'm in the US I miss things about the UK. Life is good here though. I get on with it, I'm content, and I enjoy it.

Hey, she's entitled to her opinions.

Saying, "I know that it is far better in the USA" is not stating an opinion, though. Of course we're all entitled to opinions, but to state that it's better in the US and to state that as a 'fact' is ... well, as you can see from other responses, it's not actually correct.

About to get technical here... a fact is something that's been proven. An opinion is a personal view that's not been proven, i.e. life is much better in the USA. Whether life is better in the UK or USA has never been proven or measured (to my knowledge). To me, that's more of a personal thing since everyone's experiences differ. Even if someone states an opinion as fact, that still doesn't turn it into a fact. That's how I see it, anyways...

About to get ...

Sweeping generalizations are a bad way to make an argument.  There's a way to complain about a place that doesn't simultaneously insult all the people who call that place home.

Sweeping generalizations are a bad way to make an argument.  There's a way to complain about a place that doesn't simultaneously insult all the people who call that place home.

+1 Camoscato.  That's exactly the crux of this issue.  It's hard not to be insulted when someone sneers at the country you've worked hard to make your home.  Personally (note the adverb!!) I don't particularly mind if people criticise the US.  I'm American only because I was born there, not because I did anything special or because I made a conscious choice.  But the UK is the home I choose, and I've worked hard to fit in here.  I'm British because I want to be.  So when people start banging on about primitive this and standard-of-living that, and why can't you find Velveeta and fake grape flavour here, then it does put my back up.  But, it's important for everyone to remember that the UK isn't for everyone, just as the US isn't for everyone.  Those of us who have moved here because we love it and have found our niche are perhaps able to do this because the US wasn't our place.  It certainly wasn't my place and I am glad I don't live there.  For pimmscrazy, it is her place, and that's fine.  After the tough situation she's been through with her relationship, I think she's entitled to lash out a bit, and I don't think any of us should take her remarks personally.  At least she's smart enough to recognise that the UK is not for her before she gave up her life in the US to move here. 

Agree with you, Historyenne.  I wrote a long post about it an hour ago, but it timed out before i could finish... probably for the best!

To those who dont want to be here, including LaraMascara and pimmscrazy, i hope you all get what you need for your happiness. 

To those who dont want to be here, including LaraMascara and pimmscrazy, i hope you all get what you need for your happiness. 

I agree, I can't imagine what you must be going through pimmscrazy, I too hope you and your wife find happiness either in the US or the UK!