Hello
Guest

Sponsored Links


Topic: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!  (Read 7001 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

  • *
  • Posts: 4151

  • Liked: 522
  • Joined: Jul 2005
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #60 on: May 21, 2013, 08:38:57 AM »
I've sort of settled into the old "where ever you go, there you are" kind of thing.

Like Rick Blaine's reply in Casablanca when the German Colonel asked him what he was doing back in New Your 10 years before,  "Looking for a job...".
I just hope that more people will ignore the fatalism of the argument that we are beyond repair. We are not beyond repair. We are never beyond repair. - AOC


  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 15617

  • Thence we came forth to rebehold the stars
  • Liked: 19
  • Joined: Feb 2005
  • Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #61 on: May 21, 2013, 08:55:18 AM »
I've sort of settled into the old "where ever you go, there you are" kind of thing.

Haha, too right! I also call it 'taking self along'...as in, I can be miserable (or happy) anywhere, as that pesky old self invariably follows me wherever I go! ;)
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

- from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen (b 1934)


  • *
  • Posts: 6678

  • On an Irish adventure, on the West coast of Clare!
  • Liked: 1
  • Joined: Apr 2007
  • Location: Leeds
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #62 on: May 21, 2013, 10:10:59 AM »
Haha, too right! I also call it 'taking self along'...as in, I can be miserable (or happy) anywhere, as that pesky old self invariably follows me wherever I go! ;)
It's quite Buddhist actually, that philosophy and it's one I try to live by as well.

So many have already said it better than me in this thread (and another one at the moment) but there are positives and negatives to living anywhere.

I already did 40+ years in the US so why not jump in and see living in the UK as a great adventure (and a rare priveledge) for the next 40+ years?  That's how I see it anyway.

And thank goodness for the NHS as I could very well be one of the millions in the US without health insurance--that's not a very good quality of life!


 
Quote
You're expecting it to be all olde worlde charm. It's a modern 21st century country, not something from a PBS period drama.
Sometimes I pretend I'm in a PBS period drama, but I did that back in the US as well!  :)
Met husband-to-be in Ireland July 2006
Married October 2007
Became a British citizen 21 July 2011
Separated from husband August 2014
Off on an Irish adventure October 2014


  • *
  • Posts: 4151

  • Liked: 522
  • Joined: Jul 2005
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #63 on: May 21, 2013, 11:36:13 AM »
And thank goodness for the NHS

There are those who would like to see it more like the US - and are working very hard right now to dismantle it.
I just hope that more people will ignore the fatalism of the argument that we are beyond repair. We are not beyond repair. We are never beyond repair. - AOC


  • *
  • Posts: 1441

  • Liked: 1
  • Joined: Jan 2009
  • Location: Shropshire
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #64 on: May 21, 2013, 11:42:00 AM »
After the tough situation she's been through with her relationship, I think she's entitled to lash out a bit, and I don't think any of us should take her remarks personally.  At least she's smart enough to recognise that the UK is not for her before she gave up her life in the US to move here. 

Very true.


  • *
  • Posts: 61

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Aug 2011
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #65 on: May 21, 2013, 12:24:14 PM »
Wow guys...and I sure didn't mean to rain on the parade...but in going back and reading my post I guess it might have come off that way. For those of you who have made it your home and love it, thank God for that because the alternative is, as you know for some, shattering. I relate completely to those who haven't I am afraid, mostly because I haven't and again that is personal experience. That being said, in reading your comments I do feel that each and every one of you has a point. My personal experience aside, it is relative. It is what you bring to the table and what you don't and what you "have at the table" waiting for you when you get here and alas, in many cases, what you don't. As recent as about 6 months ago, you could have tied me up and beaten me senseless and I still would have insisted that "LOVE CONQUERS ALL". It doesn't. At least not in my case. That is a grim reality I assure you. And yes, this is based on my personal experience. I think it comes down to feeling safe ( and I don't mean like someone is going to attack you) I mean safe as in "secure" and "taken care of". Warm. Welcoming. Home. I haven't found that here, likely do in great part to what's going on in my relationship. Would I feel differently if she made it differently? Maybe. I do take personal responsibility here and yes one has to get out and about on their OWN and make there own way no matter what degree of loving partner one has. Did that. Just didn't work.
Like some said, at least I found out now.
I will say that renouncing one's own birth country is a drastic step and speaks volumes, not necessarily bad, but mostly that the person has found a new country that they call home and have closed the door permanently on the one they had before. I could never do that. I am too nationalistic and despite it's many issues, still very very proud to be an American.
Good luck Lara.


  • *
  • Posts: 432

  • See my Welcome Wagon post to learn more about me..
  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Aug 2008
  • Location: Eastbourne, E. Sussex
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #66 on: May 21, 2013, 01:42:32 PM »
Very cool about the trip -- looking forward to hearing how it all goes!
"The stars don't shine upon us / We're in the way of their light"

- Silver Jews


  • *
  • Posts: 3431

  • Liked: 30
  • Joined: Jul 2008
  • Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #67 on: May 21, 2013, 02:15:41 PM »
I'll clarify, though I was a US citizen from birth due to my parentage, I was born outside the US and have citizenship of another country as well as the UK. I largely grew up in the US, but never felt a particular affinity for it.
Arrived as student 9/2003; Renewed student visa 9/2006; Applied for HSMP approval 1/2008; HSMP approved 3/2008; Tier 1 General FLR received 4/2008; FLR(M) Unmarried partner approved (in-person) 27/8/2009; ILR granted at in-person PEO appointment 1/8/2011; Applied for citizenship at Edinburgh NCS 31/10/2011; Citizenship approval received 4/2/2012
FINALLY A CITIZEN! 29/2/2012


  • *
  • Posts: 61

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Aug 2011
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #68 on: May 23, 2013, 12:28:36 AM »
Since I was young, I have been lucky enough to travel pretty extensively. I love to travel and see new and exciting places. I love adventure. I think the bottom line is that I know my standard of living would take a nose dive if I moved to the UK. At this station in my life now, that is scary. That being said, things were talked out with my wife and we are ok, THANK GOD. We both feel that the stress of the LDR finally got to us and reality set in. But we want to be together and despite my rantings here, I want the relationship to work. We are aiming for the US spousal visa. IF that does not work out then I certainly don't want to lose her. We both agreed that if I moved to the Uk I wouldn't do so without a job. That made me feel better already. She agreed to be more tuned in to my needs. I agreed to be less winey about the UK frustrations like crackly laundry. Again, our life hangs on DOMA.


  • *
  • Posts: 664

  • just a little whiterabbit
  • Liked: 4
  • Joined: May 2006
  • Location: USA
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #69 on: May 23, 2013, 02:42:29 AM »
I'll clarify, though I was a US citizen from birth due to my parentage, I was born outside the US and have citizenship of another country as well as the UK. I largely grew up in the US, but never felt a particular affinity for it.

DrSuperL99, I've seen you comment before about why you renounced.

IMO, I don't feel you need to explain it to people.  It's really quite none of their business, after all.


  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 15617

  • Thence we came forth to rebehold the stars
  • Liked: 19
  • Joined: Feb 2005
  • Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #70 on: May 24, 2013, 03:34:43 PM »
We both agreed that if I moved to the Uk I wouldn't do so without a job. That made me feel better already.

Going by your previous posts, I surmise that your wife lives in a remote outpost of Wales away from bus & train lines, shops & services... And while that may be ideal for some, it's certainly not for everyone.

I do hope your plans to stay in the US pan out for you, but if you find that some time spent living in the UK is on the cards for you - you do realise that a small place in Wales is not the whole of the UK, right? There might be other locations & areas to live that, if you & your wife agreed on a change of location here in the UK, you might find you'd be much happier & closer to more 'stuff' that would make things easier for you - both in terms of job opportunities as well as being near transport, shops & services.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

- from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen (b 1934)


  • *
  • Posts: 61

  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Aug 2011
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #71 on: May 27, 2013, 02:11:32 PM »
Thank you Mrs. Robinson for your reply. IT was a nice change from some of the snarky ones I have been receiving with some of my posts. You'd think I personally attacked some people!
After a rant, comes the natural cool down and my feelings have leveled a bit. The area that my wife lives in is not that remote just inconvenient. There are more convenient places near Cardiff that I have seen and some I quite like and would feel more "home" in. We have discussed that. The reality is that the job market is such that if we were to settle in the UK, we most likely would move somewhere close to London to work in London. She can literally work anywhere in the NHS.
For now, we are hoping and praying for a decision from the Supreme Court at the end of June that will be favorable to her US immigration.
Being newlyweds in an LDR is heart wrenching and stressful. No wonder we have been unraveling a bit. As for myself, I think I am going to adopt the game face of the  Monarchy...."don't complain, don't explain".
We'll see what happens......


  • *
  • Posts: 3202

  • Liked: 360
  • Joined: Feb 2012
  • Location: Clydebank
Re: YAY!!!! I'M GOING H.O.M.E. FINALLY!!!!
« Reply #72 on: May 27, 2013, 02:55:08 PM »
a nice change from some of the snarky ones I have been receiving with some of my posts. You'd think I personally attacked some people!

I think you got off fairly lightly with just a bit of snark.  Some of your comments were out of order, in my opinion.

But still...i hope it all works out for you!  :)


Sponsored Links