URGH, family vent

I am so irritated right now, my Dad is in town.  I haven't seen him in like 14 months, he lives in TX.  So he drives in (a looong drive), gets here Sunday night, which he spends at our house.  Spent yesterday here.  Last night my bro came over, and now today, my Dad is gone to his house.  

So now I won't see my Dad again, really, until (most likely) Friday night which he will spend here before he leaves.

See, the thing is, my brother ALWAYS does this.  He gets all pissy (can I say that?) if my Dad spends too much time with me when he's here.  Last year they loaned my Dad their car to come spend the evening with me, then called after he had been here an hour to say "We need the car back in case we need to go out later" (in the hour before my brother would come home from work with the other car.)

Not only that, but I have mentioned to my Dad a few times in the last few days how much I hope he will come to England to visit a lot, and I can't wait to show him around there, etc.  His response?  "Well, Stace, there's no guarantees on anything, you know?  We never know what's going to happen, I can't promise anything."  Which makes me think he's either (a) not ever going to visit because he doesn't want to, or (b)not going to visit because he has an incurable disease and doesn't want to tell me.

So all this time I spent getting ready for my Dad's visit has boiled down to a day and a half with him before he goes to be with my bro all f%^ing week.

I'm sorry, I know this isn't exactly an "enduring the distance" type topic (although I am really upset that he won't even agree to come visit.  What does he think I'm going to do if he can't make it?  Whine, "but you saaaid...."?)  It's just upsetting to feel like your parents want nothing to do with you.  

Is it any wonder we're moving to England???

You can certainly say pissy.

(((hugs)))

I can relate to the feeling that your parents don't want contact, I haven't seen my father for .... 10+ years, and that was at his mother's funeral. While yours a little different situation to mine, I understand the hurt feelings. I don't know why some fathers just don't understand what they mean to their daughters and how much they're needed.  

Thanks, Leah.

I think part of what is so upsetting is that, given that we are now counting down less than a year before we leave, this could well be the last time I see my Dad in God only knows how long.  I kind of thought that, since he knows we plan to leave early next year, he would realize this.

There's a lot of history with my Dad and me (duh, of course) but not all of it is good....he had this girlfriend (that he later married) and when I was in high school (btw, my bf in UK thinks it is so cute that I was in "high school"-she giggles every time I say it!) she moved in with us.  I was only 14 and despite the pleas of my bro and I she stayed.  She used to tell my Dad lies about what I was doing etc., and it all basically culminated in his decision to sell the house and move one month before my 18th birthday and to tell me that I couldn't go with him.
Which left me homeless for about 6 months until I moved down here with my Mom.  (Partly my fault, I didn't want to leave my friends and stuff, but I was young and stupid too.)

Now that my realtionship with him has been repaired, for the most part, over the last 5 years or so it's even more important to me to spend time with him, because of all the years we missed.  The funny thing is, he completely denies that he ever picked "Amy" over me.  He says only terrible parents would do such a thing.  He also has conveniently forgotten the "kick my 17-yo daughter out of the house" incident, a friend of my bro's had that happen to him as well and my Dad sat there in front of me wondering how any decent person could do such a thing.  Which was upsetting, but I let it go because being with my Dad was important to me.
I don't know why it doesn't seem important to him.  And yeah, it does hurt-I can't imagine what it would be like not to see my Dad for 10 years.  I have a funny feeling I'm going to find out.
It's hard enough to leave your whole family (almost) behind and move across the ocean, without the feeling that they're just as happy to see you go.  
Sorry this is so long, thanks for listening (or reading, as the case may be.)

I'm sorry to hear about your whole situation.  So many times parents just don't understand how much of an effect they have on us.

Many people are also very good at putting things they did in the past so far behind them that they no longer view those actions as a reflection of themselves.  

It's that..."I would never do that attitude" even when they have done the same....

Trust me even though our situations are quite different I know where youa re comign from. My  mom does the same thing.  Just forgets about stuff.  (Not things I did of course just -what she did.)

Seems your dad has done the same...it seems to be a coping mechanism so we don't have to feel badly about ourselves.

Wish I  could give you some adivice on the brother front, but as I have no siblings I am not the best person there.  It seems to be that both bro and dad have equal guilt in the matter.

Have you thought that maybe dad won't say he will come visit because he does not want to face the fact that you are actually going to go?  Just a thought...

Anyway....best of luck.